guns n kids

I've had a hectic past several days! That's all I'll say about that.

Recently, I've been thinking about gun safety in our home. It's never been a concern for me having guns in the house. I grew up with them. My parents never had the ammunition where we could get to it. We knew not to play with them and to never point them at each other. We were taught how to use them, and they were never locked up! There were no gun safes in our home. In retrospect, maybe it's lucky that one or more of us weren't seriously harmed growing up. Not just because of the guns, but because of other careless behaviors, or redneck ways as HF likes to point out. He has called me on more than one occasion, a California Hillbilly. I like to think I grew up in the best of both worlds.

Anyway, I've mentioned in the past that HF often updates me on the status of his gun. I never understood why. I would just say, "Uh, cool. Thanks for that." Now I get it. Our 3 year old boy pushed a small table, climbed on top, and was reaching at where the gun is kept (Just so you know, the gun is kept secure and out of reach and there was no way he could've reached it-at least for a couple more years). I was in the shower and HF walked in to see our 3 year old dressed to the nines in his cowboy getup sans pants begging for the "poke" (that's what he calls guns). While I admire his authenticity, I realized for the first time that it's time to do some gun safety training.

HF is good about this. When they ask about the guns, or they want to see them, he stops what he's doing and gets them out. He takes the time to answer their questions and to teach them. When he and I talk about this, two things always come to my mind: 1. I've always heard the expression, "No safe is child proof", and 2. I am the one that is at home with the kids the majority of the time with guns in the house and I need to be more trained about guns myself and help with the training of our children.

It just so happens that at the right time I was reading past articles on Women of Caliber and found a four-part series of articles that Kellene wrote entitled, Children and Guns. I was especially interested in parts II and III, the myths of gun safety and children, and how to educate them, but they are all very interesting, informative, and well written.

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV

Tell me how you seasoned LEO families have handled gun safety with your children. Any advice or other words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

And here is a clip from 90210 that I totally remember watching as a teen. Even though I knew it was a ridiculous show back then, I don't think I was smart enough to realize that television introduced heated issues into the story line. So this little clip has bad acting, and as HF says, it would be incredibly unlikely for the Glock to go off when hitting the floor.

facebook

I have recently joined Facebook and now this video makes complete sense! There were probably 10 people that I wanted to find that I lost touch with over the years. I had NO idea the craziness that would ensue. It's kind of a phenomenon to me. And now, if regularly blogging on a family blog with the most recent photos of our younguns wasn't already enough, now I have people that I haven't talked to since we were babies hassling me about updating my status, or accepting some kind of a hug message. If they're lucky, I might get on once a month.

what's your favorite shift?

I am conducting another poll. This time I am asking: What is your favorite shift to work?

• days (typically 6 am - 2 pm)
• swings (2 pm - 10 pm)
  
• graves (10 pm - 6 am)
• cover (something like 7 pm -3 am)

I've placed the poll on the upper right of the sidebar. This isn't just for cops to answer. Wives, girlfriends, anyone who is affected by a cop's shift work. You can also leave an explanation here in the comments why a particular shift is your favorite, or least favorite.

thanks for all the memories

Your professional manner and skillful ways have earned our heartfelt esteem. We appreciate you for the role you play as part of our emergency team.

This is what HF got when he "retired" from dispatching. While he isn't one for fame or recognition, I, as his doting wife, expected so much more. I thought it would've been nice if they had a parade in his honor. Perhaps the mayor could give him a key to the city. I would've even settled for some confetti, a party, a plaque, or a certificate of some kind. Even a brand new car or $10,000 cash. But that's just me.

In all seriousness, he loved being a dispatcher. He handled some tough calls, some funny calls, and one or two difficult officers. I will miss hearing about the calls he took that never made it to the officers. Like the one about the girl that would show up at large gatherings and "faint". When she "came to", she would act all damsel in distress and go on about having a medical condition that causes her to faint. It was very apparent that she had no condition other than a need for attention. After a few times of this, an EMT that had dealt with her occasionally over the years had her pink slipped? (not sure if that's the right term). They basically forced her to be admitted to the hospital via ambulance ride. They hoped that her having to pay for the ride and other inconveniences would make her shy away from having fainting spells. And they were right. There was no more fainting. That is, until a year or so later. She showed up again, HF took the call from a concerned citizen, and when the EMTs showed up, she hadn't expected that the same EMT who pink slipped her previously would be on duty that day and recognize her. The EMT said, "Do you want to take another ride in the ambulance?" She hasn't been heard from since.

There were calls that stood out from others. One that changed him forever. Over a period of several months, a girl would call every once in a while wanting to commit suicide. HF always happened to take her calls, and always persuaded her to see a reason to live, while convincing her to talk to a professional counselor. One day, on his day off, he received a call from work. They were on the phone with Kelly (not her real name). She was threatening that she would kill herself if she couldn't talk to HF. I'm not sure what a dispatcher is trained to do in this situation, but the dispatcher put the call through to HF's cell. She had taken a bunch of pills, then stood on a mountain ledge. She was calling the only person that she thought cared about her. He convinced her to get off the ledge and to continue living. I came in the house and heard HF telling some girl that he did care about her, etc. That's when she was startled by workers that were sent to help her off the mountain. She slipped and fell off the ledge while she was on the phone with HF. She landed some feet below, but was still okay. I walked into the room and heard screaming on her end of the phone, and HF was shouting her name. HF continued talking to her, telling her to hold still and stay put. She was hysterical and then jumped to her death while holding the phone. The only sounds after that were of rescue workers making their way to her. It was chilling. I wish I hadn't heard any of it at all. Including HF's frantic voice.

For the next few months, HF would randomly start crying uncontrolably, space out, get angry and blame himself, those who responded, the dispatcher that sent the call to him on his day off. I was upset that the dispatcher sent the call to HF while he was at home! The department had him talk to a counselor. That helped a lot. Many officers in the department took it upon themselves to talk to him about many of their own experiences or firsts with traumatizing experiences. That helped a lot too. He eventually worked through this, and I believe this experience helped him immensely later on when he had to do this again, but for his own mother. She lived though.

I've learned a few things:

1. The media rarely reports anything accurately
2. Dispatchers are among those that have a thankless job. They are rarely recognized for the difference they make and the lives they save.
3. HF is great at talking to people. He has been told numerous times (by callers) that he has a comforting and caring voice. The tapes from this call have since been used in widespread training. Apparently, he couldn't have done anything different or better. I was proud of him, but still wish that it hadn't affected him the way it did.
4. I think being a dispatcher while he was in the academy, helped him to be a better cop. The dispatchers love him because he knows exactly what they have to do and what they are seeing when he is on the radio with them.
   

name that cop part IV

Because I am tired, busy with school starting and making my 1st grader the most adorable bento lunches (see example here) , obsessed with season 2 of Alias, and working in our garden (which today was the equivalent of doing the advanced level of Tae Bo with Billy Blanks), I give you part IV of Name That Cop.

For previous posts of Name that Cop:
Part I
Part II
Part III (answers to part III at the end of this post)






Answers to Name That Cop Part III:

1. tv show CHiPs. Officers Jon Baker, and Francis Llewellyn 'Ponch' Poncherello played by actors Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada. (I love that the writers gave Ponch that big long name as his character by the way)
2. 80s tv show Cagney and Lacey. Christine Cagney and Mary Beth Lacey were played by actresses Sharon Gless and Tyne Daly.
3. Sheriff on Disney Pixar's CARS. Voice of Sheriff is Michael Wallis.
   
4. Elliot Ness. Chief Investigator of the Prohibition Bureau for Chicago in 1934. Leader of infamous agents known as the Untouchables.
   
5. Reno 911. For list of actors and characters, see here.
   

Rookie Review: Signal Zero

This is HF. When I first started the police academy, a supportive captain on the agency I dispatched for gave me a worn out copy of the book Signal Zero, by George Kirkham. The captain told me that it was a good read and, in his opinion, just as applicable today as it was in the 70's when it was written. I took the book and thanked him but didn't really think too much about it until later.

When I finally cracked it open, I couldn't put it down. The book chronicles the author's experiences as a college professor turned street cop. One semester, while teaching a criminology class, Mr. Kirkham developed a friendship with one of his students who happened to be a cop. This officer challenged the author to become a police officer to see if what he was teaching was actually true. Mr. Kirkham got permission from his university to take the challenge and entered the police academy. Following his graduation he was signed onto his friend's department and was immediately put into the roughest precinct.

Signal Zero illustrates the change from citizen to warrior. It shows the warrior bond that is common among all police officers. Through Mr. Kirkham's words we experience his realizations, triumphs, and heart breaks.

Even though this book was written in the 70's I couldn't help but feel that the guts of this work is still relevent today. Reading Signal Zero as a police officer, I couldn't help but feel incredibly satisfied as the author had many of his "aha," moments. Moments where the light bulb finally went on and he "got it." Many of us, if not all of us, know what "it" is that so many of the population does not get. It's satisfying to see someone who did not get "it," go from complete and voluntary ignorance to what he is today.

After finishing Signal Zero Mr. Kirkham remained a police officer. The experiences he chronicled in Signal Zero changed his life forever. You can learn more about him here.

I recommend Signal Zero to everyone. Mrs. Fuzz enjoyed reading the book as well but wanted me to warn you that there are some graphic scenes and language depicted in the book.

connecting with my cop

These are some lunch bags that Daisy and Luke have decorated. The brown one says:

This is Daddy's lunch
I miss you!

I discovered early on in our marriage, especially when the babies started popping out, the power of the leaving a note in his lunch- method. Sometimes when I think back on how long we've been together and married, I cut it in half and consider that the amount of time we've actually been together because I hardly see the guy. Since I'm married to a man of few words, it's been hard to know if he likes me doing this or not. But I found out recently that he's been keeping all the lunch bags that the kids have drawn on and the notes that I slip in. The magnets that he wanted for his locker? He wanted to put some of our notes up and pictures of us. Hey, I think HF likey!

Why I think this is a good method:

1. He has a little something to remember us while he's at work each day.
2. I get to busy the kids with an art project while I make HF's lunch.
3. Sometimes the note is our only conversation that day.
4. The kids see HF's role in our family and his important place in our lives.
5. This strengthens our bond as a couple and as a family.
6. It's something fun to do. A little tradition we've created.

HF doesn't always get a paper bag lunch. I guess it depends on the kind of food he is taking with him, but I like to do a little thing called Bento- if I have time! When the kids don't decorate a lunch bag, they might slip in a coloring page they've scribbled on, or give him a paper full of their favorite stickers. Now me on the other hand, this is what I do. And just so you know, I don't do mushy notes. Well, maybe sometimes, but here is an example of the notes I have left in HF's lunches.

• "Officer, I got your pizzas!" in reference to this movie, written in permanent marker across a gallon ziploc bag filled with, you guessed it, pizza.

• "Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!" from Napoleon Dynamite

• "Roses are red. Violets are blue. If you don't eat this lunch, I will come back for you", complete with menacing child-like drawing of a rattlesnake.

• I wrote, "you are AMAZING" and had words that describe him using each letter of the word amazing. Right now I'm wondering what in the world I came up for the letter Z. . .
  

• I wrote things we had done that day and funny things the kids had said.

I'm sharing all this because I think we all have to come up with ways to connect with our cops one way or another. This is just one little way I have found that works for us. I'm wondering what little things you all do each day (or however often) to find meaningful ways to connect.

becoming a police wife has changed my life

I've been a police wife for 3 months now. Today I was thinking how my life has changed so far. Here's what I came up with off the top of my head:

• Instead of Skateboarding magazines and novels in the bathroom there are clothing and supply catalogs (Galls, anyone?) and a big ol' law book.

• When I need to wake up HF, I usually peer from behind the door and softly call out his name. If that doesn't work I might call his cell or stand at the end of the bed and gently touch his knee or some body part that I feel might not make him ready to violently attack. I learned this the hard way. A simple spooning and a soft whisper of, "Hey baby" ended in a fight for my life.

• It's now normal to answer my phone and hear, "Hi Mrs. Fuzz", then loud radio traffic, then "gotta go".

• Occasional out of character grouchiness. Is this normal? I'm guessing stress related.

• Instead of searching for keys when he's on his way to work, I help search for bullets, his work cell, and/or a handcuff key. (I found one on the upper shelf of our bedroom closet today).

• I'm learning that code talk isn't just used to sound cool or manly. It actually means something!

• Even though it's me trying to be funny, it's way too fun and hilarious using cop talk as pick up lines on HF. He doesn't always play along though. For example, I will say, "Spread 'em!" And he will say, "We don't even say that anymore" and he'll try and explain why until I roll my eyes and tell him to just play along. He does.

• I can't just hug him normally or put my hands on his hips. There's a gun in the way.

• He has to park in a stall facing out and he does a LOT more looking around our surroundings.

• He updates me with the status of his gun when he takes it off to put it away. I still have no idea what he is talking about, probably because I'm half asleep when he's telling me.

• Just like with boy time, there is also a police time calculator. It isn't as accurate as the boy time calculator, but I know that if his shift is from 10 pm to 6 am, that means it is really from 9 pm to 7 am at the least.

• The guy can sleep! He can sleep from the time he gets home in the morning until it's time to go to work again that night. That is, if I let him. The latest I have let him sleep in has been until 5 pm or 6. But that's if he's had an especially rigorous schedule or event the previous night or week. But by then it's too late, 'cause by 5 or 6, I'm already like this:

crazy Jack Nicholson in the Shining

a blog award

Thanks Mandy for giving me a blog award. That was very thoughtful of you. Mandy is a fellow police wife that blogs over at Mommy Musings. She blogs about life as a stay at home mom and wife. She has a very beautiful little baby girl.

I am going to pass this award along to Stephanie, at Because of Love. She is a police wife that blogs a little bit about everything. Her faith, her little girl, her officer, her hobbies, her challenges, etc. And she's probably one of the sweetest people you'll ever *meet*. She's also among the first police wife blogs that I found.

The rules of the One Lovely Blog Award are: Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and her blog link. Pass the award to other blogs that you've newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

more quotable quotes from HF

HF to Daisy: Rules are tools. They help us obey. And when we obey, we're happy all day!

Me: Is that what you tell the homies when you're handcuffing them?

HF: No.

Me: You should.

HF: Maybe I will.

Me: Where did you hear that anyway? Did you make it up?

HF: My mom used to say that to us when we were little. I think it's from a book.

HF to Daisy: What are rules?

Daisy: They're tools.

HF: And they what?

Daisy: Help us obey. . .

HF: And when we obey?

Daisy (grumbling): we're happy all day. . .

HF (obviously pleased with himself): There, problem solved.

Me: Uh huh.

Looking for more wisdom? Quotable Quotes and More Quotable Quotes

BREAKING NEWS

Just when you thought she was out of our lives forever. . .

Recently, one of the dispatchers that got chummy with CJ, logged onto facebook and saw the following update on her page:

"I am now done with FTO and have just been promoted to Detective!"

I understand not wanting to tell your family and friends (that were just at your graduation 3 months ago) that you were canned, but she had to add the bit about being promoted to Detective. I'm not experienced in the ways of police work and promotions, but I think most people know that being "promoted to detective" takes some time. Like, quite a few years usually? Not, "Congratulations, you have completed FTO and are now a Detective!"

People pretend to be things they are not online, so it's not like she can get in trouble for it, but hopefully she's not acting as an LEO in public. Otherwise, the real life detectives will have to bring her in for questioning.

more frivolous finds

kids Police car suitcase found here.

I didn't know that Little Tikes also made a little police car! Pretty cute.

Of course, I had to check out the Legos police selection. There's quite a bit. Even this adorable key chain, which is probably about the only thing HF would allow me to have on me that is police related.
I know, it's a dumb shirt, most of them are. But I had fun looking through them. There are some I like, but once again, it would have to be in the privacy of our own home as to not oust the LEO and his loved ones.

Okay, now here's my weakness. I collect children's books. Especially vintage. I love Lois Lenski books and her illustrations. She has a series of "small" books. Policeman Small, Cowboy Small, Papa Small, etc. She also has a "Littles" series. I don't have the policeman one yet. . .
I thought this was pretty cute, but like I said. These are frivolous finds. Clock found here.

HF's first night solo

I had a difficult time sleeping on Saturday night. I don't know if it's because I was feeling a little anxious about HF being alone and safe, or if it was the fact that he kept calling me whenever he had any action!

HF learned that there is nothing "routine" about a traffic stop. He pulled over a car for having a head light out. Right before he got out of the car he described having a strong feeling that, even though it was the middle of the night and nobody was on the road, he should approach the car on the passenger side. So HF walked around his car and onto the the passenger side. He saw two guys in the front. They rolled down the passenger window and were very friendly. HF asked for the registration and the driver asked his buddy in the passenger seat to check the glove box for him. HF had his flashlight out in his "off" hand shining it on the glove box. The passenger opened the glove box and put his hand on what looked like a revolver.

HF "stopped" ("Police! Drop the weapon!") him and asked the occupants if that was a gun they were preparing to pull out of the glove box. The occupants, both young college students, instantly put their hands on the roof of the car, soiled themselves and exclaimed, "please don't shoot me!" HF resolved the situation and learned that the gun in question was a black plastic cap gun.

HF told me that because of his position on the passenger side, he was able to better ID the "gun," and was at an angle where, had it been real, the shooter would have had a harder time reaching around the seat with his right hand, giving HF more time to do what he needed to do. He also wondered if the evening might have had a tragic ending had he not been on the passenger side and reacted too quickly.

Good job HF not killing two innocent, but kind of dumb guys on your first night solo. Who keeps even their cap guns in their glove box?!

Also the same night, HF called me and said, "I just put out a car fire!" He was driving by and saw a car with all its doors open, trunk open, and hood open. There was smoke pouring out of the frame, of all places, on the driver side. The occupants told HF that they were just playing their music loudly when the car started smoking. HF got everyone away from the car and had disptach send the fire department. Suddenly, flames appeared up out of the engine area and on the dashboard. HF grabbed the fire extinguisher from his trunk and sprayed the flames out. Shortly after the flames went out the fire department arrived. They told HF and the driver that the fire was an electrical fire and that HF had put it out. After the fire department left, the driver said the following,

"Uh, officer? I had my Ipod plugged into the car and was playing it really really loud tonight. Is that why my car caught on fire?"

HF told me that he was tempted to tell him yes and encourage him to keep the music down but he didn't.

The rest of the night was pretty slow for a Saturday night.

you would not believe the week I had

Now being enforced:
8. was added shortly after the rules were already posted.

Fuzz update: HF was cut loose from FTO yesterday. He received his shift assignment. 10 pm to 6 am. I'm actually breathing a sigh of relief because he almost had the cover shift which is 7 pm to 3 am. Can you believe that? That's just awful. He will have Sundays and Mondays off. He's excited to be on his own. I'm excited for the erratic shifts to be over. He was working a different shift every 2-3 weeks. They wanted him working with a few different FTOs so each week was something new. Poor HF hardly had time to recover from doing graves when he had to shift to days.

He also qualified with his AR-15 and did really well at that. He said a few of the veteran officers that were there teased him and told him he wasn't welcome back because he made them look bad.

He had a ton of written tests to take as well which really surprised both of us. He said that most of the tests had to do with his knowledge of department policy and procedure in addition to some general knowledge of the law. But he's done with all of that now and tonight is his first night flying solo. This is it, the beginning of the rest of our career. We are so excited.