cop movies

Some of you might be more into serious cop movies, but I prefer the silly and the cheesy. I saw this in theaters when it came out, like 10 years ago. This is Blue Streak with Martin Lawrence in case you were wondering. If you haven't seen this movie, you can read about it here. All I remember is that he plays a crook that impersonates a cop in order to get to a diamond he hid in the building that became a police station while he was in prison. While I can only handle Martin in small doses (daaaaang Gina!), I enjoyed this movie. But I was like 19 or 20 when I watched it. I don't think I've really seen it since then come to think of it, but I enjoyed this scene so much apparently that I googled it and found the exact clip I was thinking of.

poll results

Thanks for taking the poll. I asked if you were offended by the term 'PIG'.

30% said YES (6 votes)

25% said NO (5 votes)

45% of you were indifferent (9 votes)

FTO= First Time Out

He did it. He came home. I wasn't worried at all last night, but then 6 am came and went. Then 7. Finally, almost at 8 am he came walking through the door. I just had to shake my head. Of course, 2 hours after his shift is supposed to end he comes home, and I also realized that he won't always be able to call or send a text message to say how long he'll be or that he is running late. This has happened as a dispatcher, and with a security job he had previously. But this felt different. My mind thought of the possibilities. "He's writing a report, he's talking with other officers, he's dealing with an incident, OMG he's hurt! He's at the hospital!" In actuality, he was at the station until 7 am, and then one of his academy buddies called him to come over on his way home. I mentioned that that could've been a good time to send a quick little text so that I wouldn't worry. He just smiled at me. I smiled back.

Here's something I recorded last night: It's almost 1:30 in the morning, and I'm not asleep yet. I've been hoping to hear from HF. I finally got a text that said, "I love being a cop!" He said he got to assist on a traffic stop where the driver got out of the car. He noticed the driver getting upset, throwing his arm out the window and going, "COMEON!" Then the driver got out. I asked him what he did. He said he blinded the driver with his light while his FTO shouted orders to the driver. He said that he stood in the driver's blind spot on the passenger side and shined the flashlight in his mirrors so that it blinded the driver. His FTO left him there by himself and he said that he had to pee really bad and that he naturally wanted to look over at what his FTO and another officer were doing, but he kept his eye on the driver. He loved it.

So there you have it. His first.

And I can't stop smiling.

I wonder if it's like other firsts. Tying your shoes for the first time. Riding a bike. Getting your drivers license, etc. I'm happy for him. He'll still have to pay his dues, but he is well liked and respected by the others, they've known him for a long time and have been wanting him to become a cop for a long time, so this isn't just a special time for HF. It's meaningful to many in the department. He has a unique situation here. Many of them will be at his graduation. We feel blessed in our situation.

Tomorrow. FINAL written and physical exams.
Friday. Sworn in. (I hope I can go to that?)

changes

9 days until graduation. He finished his last class on Friday. He's been home studying, working out, and FTO got pushed to tonight! He was going to start last Friday, but his uniform and armor was not here. I watched him get ready tonight. He was nervous. I don't feel nervous. Maybe it's that whole, when one person is freaking out the other person is calm thing, but I don't feel nervous at all. I feel confident and excited. I also feel like FINALLY we are getting somewhere. HF has taken the long route to get here, but it paid off.

He brought home one of his badges today. I had no idea it was some serious bling bling. I was tempted for a second, just for a second, to send it in to that cash for gold place that's on tv late at night. They gave him a leather holder thingie that hooks onto his belt (I don't know my gear, so for now, most things will be called a thingie or a doodad until taught otherwise). Right now his schedule is 10 pm to 6 am. He had his official background investigation interview. He's already had this done since he's worked for the department for several years, but he had a good interview. They want to talk to me too and meet the family. I hope I can make him look good. I threatened him jokingly that this was all in my control now and that I could make him or break him. He didn't seem concerned. I did think it was funny though that for one of his places of employment before we were married, he had to list me as his boss. Oh the good ole days.

I'm not sure how much I'll be around until after the graduation. I am super busy making our place look nice for company, planning out the remainder of the party, and finishing all the little details. Tomorrow I have to see about the food. There's a "famous" hot dog stand here that has the best hot dogs and it's near the police department. The cops go here a lot and this is also HF's favorite place to eat. I think instead of barbequing, I'm going to get these hot dogs catered. HF will die. We might get some party crashers if we do this however. They have a secret sauce that they serve on all their hot dogs and it's to die for. And I'm not a hot dog eater. But these are good!

With all these days off HF has had, I thought we would be playing it up, but he has been crashing. Sleeping, sleeping, and sleeping. When he does get up, he's got so much other stuff he has to work on, then he'll wrestle the kids a bit, practice some arrest control on them for fun, and then study. Once in a while I try to keep him on his toes and surprise him like CATO on The Pink Panther. I even tried to flip him over my back, but without much force or change in face expression, he brought me to my knees with a little twist of my wrist. Can't say I didn't try. He got his haircut today, high and tight, and I think I'll take our little 3 year old in for an identical cut. I'm kind of bummed that they aren't allowing little kids to the ceremony. I think HF feels bad that his parents aren't coming, but that has to do with the major drama I said I would tell you all about. Soon. Soon. I gotta go clean the kitchen now. It's a pig sty. I made these and these. We've been making some seriously tasty fatty stuff lately, so now it's back to the vegetables. Vegetables Shmedgtables.

there, there gentle readers. . .

the CJ updates don't have to end. Wanna know why? That's right, you guessed it. HF's department is FTOing CJ. Yes, you heard me. She starts FTO soon.

So at least for now, there will be more CJ stories. And if she makes it through FTO, and is hired, then the stories won't ever have to end.

Now when I lay me down to sleep at night, I will say an extra long prayer that HF doesn't get killed in the line of duty. By CJ.

just for fun police links

LAPD wife posted this funny Police Dept Voice Mail Message

Watch a pimp get slapped (or the Brachial Plexus Stun) at Slam Dunks. He always has interesting and entertaining things to read. One of my favorite reads.

HF showed me this one from COPS Las Vegas. Crazy! He's not allowed to try this one out on me. Or the pimp slap for that matter. He can do that at the academy, or when he's practicing with his buddies. Please tell me they eventually stop trying to practice their Aikido or arrest control on you?! At least his attempts usually lead to making out.

Kid calls 911 for help with math

Do you have any fun police related audios or videos to share? I emphasize fun because I don't want any depressing and gory ones today.

Police Wives Online

click image above to visit policewivesonline.blogspot.com

Police Wives Online is holding a blogathon, set up by MJ at Note to Self. You can read about the blogathon here . Even if you can't donate, it's a worthy cause to support by getting the word out about the event. There are also going to be many police-related posts worth reading and checking out. The donations will help their H.U.G.S. program (Helping Uplift Grieving Survivors). Isn't that nice? You can visit the PWO blog by clicking on the image above. MJ will be listing the participating bloggers and updating their progress. You can add the above image to your blog to show your support.

the PoPo, the Fuzz, the Heat. What do you say?

I've noticed that people have their own terms when referring to the police. I did a search for slang terms and found 2 websites here and here that list various slang. I didn't check to see how many were the same or different on each list.

I usually just say Cops, or the Police, but affectionately use Po Po for various reasons, stemming from my college days and certain roommates. I'll just say, thank you Jay-Z and other club music.

What do you refer to the police as? Any that are not on the list? I haven't heard of at least half of these. I thought it was an interesting read though. I liked "whoop-whoop". It said that it was used in the American south in reference to the siren.

I've added a new poll at the top right of the blog asking, "Are you offended by the term "pig"? Yes, no, or are you indifferent.

academy update

This is all that's left in the academy pretty much:

• April 22nd & 23rd- Critical Incident Response (AKA Active Gunman)
• April 24th- Starts FTO
• April 25th- Firearms
• April27th- Night Shoot
• April 30th- Certification Testing: Physical & Written
• May 2nd- Fun shoot (they can bring whatever guns and they will shoot for fun)
• May 4th- (Our anniversary) Class meeting (I think a dress rehearsal so to speak)
• May 8th- Graduation
  

HF has been selected, or elected, by his classmates to give the class speech. I've been calling him the valedictorian. I don't know if they actually use that term for the academy graduation, but that's what I've been calling him.

I'm so excited. Not only that the end is near, but whatever dates not listed above between the 22nd and the 8th, are days off! Except he'll probably need to study and be busy getting other things in order. And then there's FTO. Either way, we're excited.

boys are made of snakes and snails and "rat" tails. . .

Other things we've been up to? Grooming and growing out Luke's rat tail. I wanted to grow it out long enough to braid it, but finally had enough one day. It started out as a joke. I took Luke over to a friend's house for a haircut and she asked me sarcastically if I wanted her to leave a rat tail and I said, "definitely". I knew HF wouldn't be thrilled, and well, that's why I do these sort of things. I gotta get my kicks somehow, even at the expense of my own children, you know? I was right, he wasn't thrilled and wanted me to cut it off immediately, but I said we couldn't cut it until we at least took a picture. Well, we didn't get around to taking a picture for quite some time. I suspected we were that family at the park that parents wanted to keep their kids away because we all know about kids with rat tails, right? They are probably going to be the kid that pushes you off the slide, throws rocks at you, and punches you in the gut. You know you've pre-judged kids with rat tails. And besides, rat tails are not in style anymore. They haven't been for awhile.

gear, gear, and more gear

I am a bit of a clean freak. I can't stand clutter. And HF is a gear freak. He would probably be embarrassed for me saying, but he once upon a time was an airsofter (Don't ask, just look it up), and he collected gear. We are talking, he had to have the very best and most authentic gear. And it needed its own apartment for storage. I loathe airsoft and if there is one thing that would cause strife in our marriage, it would be this. "Anything but this!", I would say. This probably makes me sound mean, but he had an addiction. Even he admits it. He has since been through AA (Airsofters anonymous) and has made a full recovery. Most of it was sold! But now, I can for-see that he will become the police gear freak.

Anyway. All of this has nothing really to do with the point of this post. The point is, my friends, that the clean freak in me couldn't take one more bit of gear clutter, and I came up with a solution for my man that I feel pretty proud about. Keep in mind we have no storage in this place that we live in, and that he needs to have a place where all his stuff is accessible. Here's what I did. I emptied out our entry closet that was filled with outdoor recreation equipment, winter clothing, and billions of shoes. We got one of those mesh shoe holders that you put over the door, and instead of using it for shoes, the purpose was to put in all his little trinkets and doodads (I'm sure you cops love your manly gear and equipment being referred to as trinkets and doodads). I'm not sure how long this space will be sufficient, but right now it is perfect! And it made him so happy. I was surprised at how happy and excited he was. Now there is one location for all his stuff, and we (me and the kids) don't have any reason to open this closet and mess with his stuff . It's his own space. Up until now, his stuff has kind of been everywhere, and a certain 3 year old thinks it's his, like the red plastic academy gun, which he refers to as his "poke". A lot of his stuff isn't in here at the time of the pictures, but the gist of the storage is as follows (too bad I didn't get a before shot):



Top shelf: ammo, gun, EMT bag, ginormous duffel bag rolled up, gun cleaning kit, etc. Right now he's putting his gun belt up there, but I think we might put a hook up in the back of the closet that he can hang it up on. We'll see.

Hanging up: 5.11 3 in 1 parka, other coats, paca body armor, an Eagle Industries LE chest rig, etc.

The over the door shoe holder: (this is an awesome idea, right?) pens and notepads, shoe shine kit, hats, eye protection, ear protection, antennas for his ham radio, pocket tools, concealment holster, concealment cuff case, leather luster, flashlights, some shoes, etc. etc.

On the ground: Various shoes/boots, a space for his backpack, which is also lovingly referred to as a 3 day assault pack, that he uses for everyday use.

But now I'm curious. Cops, how/where do you store your gear? Wives, girlfriends, what is the police gear storage solution?

I'm totally okay with police gear collecting for the most part, but this came in the mail not too long ago. And then he says to me that he is interested in Vietnam war reenactments. So begins his gear research. Crap. We all have our quirks, right? This is one of those things that I like about him and it makes me smile, but it also makes me a little crazy. I know I've got plenty of my own quirks that he is so patient and kind about. I can't help but tease about this though.

what I did today

1. I know I'm majorly stressed because of the "spring" cleaning I've been doing, and also because of all the junk I've been eating. I wish fanatical cleaning were enough, but I confess, I'm also a comfort eater. Right now I'm eating Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie, and earlier I had some white Chocolate Kit Kats. Yes, this is a problem.
   
   
2. The case of the missing Q-tips. They have slowly disappeared over time. Where have they gone? Oh, they have been used to clean HF's gun. He cleans that thing a lot. He said you have to after every time you shoot it. Is this a rule for the academy? Or a general rule of thumb? How often do cops clean their guns? At least the Q-tip factory won't be shutting down anytime soon.
   
   
3. On and off all day today, I've been working on our community garden. We're doing it with 2 other families. It's coming along nicely. I'm excited because we've never done a garden before and we are hoping for a successful crop this year. Tomatoes, carrots, green beans, kale, lettuce, strawberries, squash, cucumbers, jalapenos, etc. I think we might do potatoes too. I hope the kids have fun helping out. So far, they've been climbing the mountain of dirt we are shoveling and throwing dirt clods. My love handles got a workout from all the hoeing and shoveling. Still satisfying work though. Although there were a few mishaps. Stepping on a pitchfork, almost hitting someone in the head with a shovel, accidentally stepping on a strawberry plant, etc. I was the gardening klutz momentarily. But I haven't done anything like this since I was a kid so I had to get used to it. I wondered to myself if the others were thinking, "great, there goes any hopes for our garden".
   
   
4. HF says they are done with scenario training after tonight. They've been clearing buildings. He enjoyed that a lot. They had a shooting qualification today and he got the second highest score in the class. They had a night shoot tonight. He missed the prequalification training last Monday due to the drama that ocurred, and had no idea what to expect and hadn't practiced, but he qualified! These past few Saturdays have been torture! He is gone ALL DAY and gets home at 10:00 pm. He's like a giant ice cream cone to me and the kids. We miss him so much and probably overwhelm him with hugs and kisses and climbing all over him when he gets home.
   
   
5. And for my grand finale, Calamity Jane baked cookies and brought them to the instructors and said, "I guess I need to apologize for not taking things seriously?" Apparently, last week she said, "It's not like any of this is real. It's all make-believe". She was referring to the scenario training in general. I love how baking cookies was her solution to making things right with the instructors instead of doing what they have asked her to do.

a man in uniform

Right now I am watching HF try on one of his police uniforms. This isn't the academy uniform. This is THE uniform for his soon to be job. And now I feel like part of the club of women who adore a man in uniform. Now, I know what you're talking about! He looks so handsome. I got butterflies in my stomach when he walked into the room and asked, "What do you think?" It's still lacking patches, and needs hemming, but man oh man, does he look sharp!

Things are coming along fast. It has dragged on and on for almost a year, but now it is zipping by. On the 24th of this month (1 week, eek!), he starts FTO. Then exactly 2 weeks after that is graduation day. This is the final stretch and there's a lot of relief, excitement, fear, and anticipation going on. And not just me! HF is feeling fear for the first time. I hadn't thought about that before, but I would imagine that the first time or two (or three or four or more) that you are out as a cop are most likely nerve wracking. And then when you are on your own without the FTO? More nerve wracking?!

I've been MIA because there has been some major family drama/crises on HF's side. Even though they live on the opposite side of the country, HF had to drop everything and fly out. He missed a few days of work and the academy, but it had to happen. You won't believe all that occured, and I'm not sure how much HF will want me to say, even though none of you know us from Adam, but I will write about it in the next couple of days. If you love drama, soap operas, Lifetime Television for Women, Italian mobster movies, Oceans Eleven, or juicy gossip, then you'll want to come back for this story. For real. It's out of control.

It would be ideal if HF could spend a couple of weeks back east, but the guys at the academy said that he wouldn't graduate if he wasn't back by Thursday and would have to be rolled back to the next group going through. And we definitely don't want that to happen. I stayed here with the kids, and baked and cooked a lot. A lot more than I would normally. That's what I do when I am stressed. That, or clean like a maniac. Like, using an old toothbrush to scrub around the nooks and crannies of a toilet, kind of cleaning. So you will notice right now a lot of food updates over at my food blog.

Life is certainly interesting. Life is still good. We are happy and well and looking forward to much change in the next few weeks. Now I've got party plans to attend to, and I'm going to watch the first episode of Southland online. Anyone like this new show? We downloaded the first 18 episodes of the current season of the Unit, and I don't know why, but I love this show. Sometimes I get annoyed with the wives and their shenanigans, but I'm hooked. Now HF has got me interested in Ultimate Force. Too many shows, so little time.

more quotable quotes

Here are some more life-changing sayings HF brought home from the academy:

"After you graduate, you'll know just enough to get your @$$ kicked."

"Kick @$$, Take Names, Dominate, and own real estate." (whatever that means!!!???)

And my personal favorite: "If you look like food, you will be eaten."

I can't help it, but I picture HF's instructors looking like Chuck Norris or Steven Segal whenever HF relays one of these sayings to me. I know, these are meant to help the cadets out and keep them in check, but that's just a little insight into my mind/sense of humor. Everything HF tells me about the academy is played out in my mind with the following actors:

1. Chuck Norris
2. Steven Segal
3. Charles Bronson
4. Clint Eastwood
5. Steve McQueen
6. Mr. Miyagi
7. the bad ex-military sensei in charge of all the cobra kai's
8. Rex, as in Rex Kwan Do from Napoleon Dynamite
   

You get the point. If only HF knew the suspense and excitement going on in my mind while he's filling me in about his day in the academy!

fashion police

image found at about.com

CJ's started wearing her giant fashion sunglasses to scenario training at the academy. Before this, she was wearing them to the private shoots on Thursdays that HF's department was holding.

One of the instructors told her, "You need to stop wearing these large fashion glasses and wear sunglasses that offer some kind of safety protection like Oakleys."

"But I need to wear these sunglasses because if I have to squint all the time then I'll get crows feet! And I REALLY can't have crows feet!"

I love me some large glam glasses myself, but there are certain jobs when wearing these would cause an interference. Just to name a few:

• firefighter
  
• paramedic
• I don't know, POLICE
  
• anything in the emergency services, or anything indoors for that matter
  

Can you think of any jobs where wearing these kind of glasses would be reasonable or permitted?

I really don't want to sound mean. That isn't my point. It's just shocking to me what she does. Like hidden video/prank show/comedy routine shocking. I actually worry that HF's department, in an attempt to hire more women, will hire her despite her lack of competence. She has other reasons why she wants to be a police officer, none of which have anything to do with being a police officer. It blows my mind.

Maybe that's a subject for another time.

because I can't let it go

quoteable quotes

A year ago or so, HF was sharing with me some of his manly words of wisdom, when he shared this little tidbit:

"Be nice. Be polite. Be friendly. And always have a plan to kill everyone you meet."

I told him he was crazy, but he insisted that it was good advice. Something he heard from a family friend growing up who was in the CIA or had some other top secret government job. (he grew up in a suburb of DC, his dad was in the Navy, and they apparently had lots of friends that were FBI, CIA, etc.)

Fast forward to now. HF comes home and says, "GUESS WHAT?! One of my instructors said, "Be nice. Be polite. Be friendly. And always have a plan to kill everyone you meet." The instructor said he didn't care if it was a biker, a grandma, or a young mom with kids, by the time he gets to your window when he's pulled you over, he's already planned how he was going to kill you.

Awesome. That really isn't going to do much for my fear of cops. Now when I get pulled over for speeding, or doing CA rolls through the stop signs, I have to assume, while I shift uncomfortably in the driver's seat, that the cop has most likely planned my death.

the other man

This is the reason I don't get any sleep:

5 months old

I know this has the potential to spark major parental debate with attachment parenting advocates, but whether you are for or against it, our 2 older children were sleep-trained, and it was awesome. By the time they were 6 weeks old they were sleeping through the night. But this little guy is another story. Not only am I answering every little cry, I am also co-sleeping, which is something I swore I would never do. I know why I'm doing it too. He has replaced HF. He is now my little buddy. I'm super lonely at night, and when I hear a little cry coming from upstairs, who am I kidding? I'm going to go and get him and hold him because I am desperate for company. When HF is home the two nights that he is, he says, "I can't share the bed with you guys anymore". But since Beau is my best friend now, what's a girl supposed to do? Yeah. It's a major dilemma. I told him that when he's done with the academy that I will let Beau sleep in his own bed. But right now we need each other.

Oh, and I'm majorly insulted! HF said this morning that he thinks that Beau looks like Horatio from CSI Miami. Have you seen this guy act? For some reason, he really, really irritates me. I think I've only seen the show a couple of times, but does it seem odd to anyone else that the Crime Scene Investigators also have the authority to not only investigate crime scenes, but do security sweeps, serve warrants, carry guns, arrest people, etc. etc.? Anyway, it just bugs me. And he's so cheesy! Do you know anyone that acts that way? Facing a different direction when talking to you with their head cocked towards you? And have you noticed that the crime scene investigators are also dressed to the nines? I guess it's just another Cop fantasy show. Maybe it really is realistic!? But who am I to pass any judgment? I grew up watching all the cheesy, yet awesome, 70s and 80s cop shows. And I'm guessing that HF just said it because he knew it would get a reaction. What do you think? Is he a mini Horatio?

the wish list

HF conveniently typed this out and left it up on my computer where I could find it.

* Flash light with tail cap switch and lanyard (at Lowe's)
* Pouch for flashlight
Pocket clip on flashlight
New Sunglasses
Metal ticket Book
Metal Possee Box
Gear Bag
Off Duty Glock 23
Off Duty spare mag holster for Glock 23
Better winter gloves (something lined with fleece)
Alta knee and elbow pads
Ballistic Helmet
Additional hard armor and carrier
Ambi Selector Switch for AR-15
Goggles for helmet

*=Immediate need.

Thanks HF, I'll see what I can do.

for all you CJ lovers out there

For those of you that might be new readers, there is a girl at the academy with HF that I refer to as Calamity Jane (CJ). She's always up to no good. This is her latest update.

HF recently had a courtroom procedures class where he and his class went to a court house and watched and participated in some courtroom scenarios. The instructor selected two cadets to be put upon the stand and be cross examined by a defense attorney. Each cadet had to write “reports” of their actions in other scenarios throughout the academy and low and behold CJ was one of the cadets selected to take the stand. Here’s how it went down:

Prosecutor: How long have you been a police officer?

CJ: 6 months

Prosecutor: Let me back up a second, prior to becoming a police officer did you have to go through any kind of training?

CJ: Yes, I attended the police academy.

Prosecutor: Okay, and when you graduated did you get any kind of certificate or documentation stating that you were qualified to work as a police officer?

CJ: Yes.

Prosecutor: Okay, then after that did you go through any more additional training?

CJ: Yes I went through an FTO program.

Prosecutor: Okay, and did you get any kind of certification saying that you had completed that?

CJ: Uh, I don’t know, I’m just making this up as I go along.

Prosecutor: Uh, okay, don’t worry about it, just say yes.

CJ: Okay

Prosecutor: Now can you describe to me your responsibilities as a police officer?

CJ: Okay, well I go out and serve and protect the liberty of the people.

Prosecutor: Uh, okay. Do you investigate crimes?

CJ: No.

Prosecutor: huh, maybe my question confused you. Let me rephrase it, uh… as a police officer, do you investigate crimes?

CJ: No.

Prosecutor: Are you sure?

CJ: Oh yes. I don’t investigate crimes at all.

Prosecutor: Okay… what exactly do you do as a police officer then?

CJ: (looking up at the ceiling and biting her lip) I uh, respond to calls from dispatch and protect the freedom of the people.

Prosecutor: Okay….

She was being questioned regarding a report she had made about a domestic dispute that she had “investigated,” during scenario training.

To her credit she was the first to go so she had no real idea of what to expect but everyone was pretty surprised when she stated that cops don’t investigate crimes. It’s been almost a year now.

dying for a normal conversation

Here's more proof that HF's mind is in another place. This is a conversation we had before he left to go to class.

Me: I wish that it was only the academy that you had to go to. Not work also. I can't wait until you are just working and then I can't wait until you have a 2 week vacation. . .

HF: It's called paid administration leave because I shot someone.

Me: Okay. . . actually I was thinking that it would just be like a normal paid vacation and not a vacation because you shot someone. Hey! I think I'm gonna go shoot someone 'cause I could really use a vacation about now. Like that's the only time you get work off.

HF: (laughs)

I wonder if paid administration leave is something they discussed the day before in the academy.

Vacation will have to wait. HF will be starting his FTOing on the 24th of April. He graduates on May 8th. Just 34 more days! He is being fitted for his body armor and uniforms right now as we speak. He's excited. He left grinning from ear to ear.