what i found in the dryer part II

Anyone need any blue nitrile exam gloves? I've got about a kazillion of them. I've been getting better at thoroughly checking all pockets when doing laundry, but these are showing up A LOT.

3 year old Luke has also discovered the wonderful usage of pockets. I find cars, police action figures, rubberbands, and more in his pockets. Those things make me smile. I guess I expect that. One of those things you were told would happen when you had boys. They really are made of snakes and snails and puppy dogs' tails.

. . . And I guess I kind of smile when I discover things in HF's pockets as well.

Previously found in the dryer:
bullets
earplugs

duckling update

If you haven't read the story about HF and the ducks you can read it here.

I guess it got around because HF said that the other officers quack at him when they see him now.

a tale of two teeth

HF's two front teeth are false. And one of the false teeth is chipped. He's been meaning to get it fixed and I'm all for that, but while we are waiting, he says it makes him look tough. You can't really notice it unless you are standing really close to him staring at his mouth, or if he's laughing really hard. He also told me that at first he used to have to concentrate really hard when he spoke so that he didn't whistle or talk with a lisp. Now he doesn't have to think so hard when he talks because he's had so much practice.

Shortly before we got married back in 2002, he squandered his money on one of those little BMX trick bikes. Unfortunately for him, he didn't know any tricks. Just because your friends do things like riding them on top of giant cement walls, doesn't mean that you should too. So he falls and knocks his two front teeth out. HF's buddies call me and tell me to come to the ER and I didn't believe them. I was so shocked seeing him without his teeth that I began laughing. A lot. I do that when I am scared or nervous sometimes. Laughter as he was writhing there in pain. For some reason, it took an abnormally large amount of time for HF to get his teeth fixed, and we were about to get married. He finally gets temporary teeth (which by the way, was one giant block, carved to look like two teeth) and he bit into a sandwich and "it" came out on his sandwich. Apparently, even fake teeth coming out is excruciatingly painful (note to self: don't eat a sandwich on a hard roll when you have temporary teeth). With just days before our wedding, HF gets his permanent teeth put in. Thank heavens. No Billy Bob wedding for us.

A couple years go by and we both get the "double dragon". For those of you that might be unfamiliar, it's when you have vomiting and diarrhea at the same time. We found out that HF will pass out if he throws up hard enough. I wake up early one morning and he's not in bed. I saw that the bathroom light was on and that the door was half shut. I try pushing the door open but his body is blocking my entrance. He's on the floor and he's unconscious. I didn't freak out, but I was able to get the door open and I shook him and he didn't wake up. I checked his pulse and then shook him some more and he woke up and had no idea what had happened or why he was lying on the floor with his pants around his ankles and a garbage can lying nearby on its side. I noticed half of his tooth missing. I put him to bed and when he woke up later, we figured that while he was throwing up he passed out and hit his mouth on the sink on his way down, hence the chipped tooth.

We moved on with our lives, assuming that that was a one time event. Then HF graduated college. This was the week that HF's bitterly divorced parents were visiting at the same time. I got a rash from all the stress, we had an 8 week old baby, and HF got the double dragon again. HF's mom (GF) stayed at our place. One of my brothers traveled here for the event and ended up staying with us as well. We had a 600 sq ft 2 bedroom apartment, made even tinier when there's a visitor (make that 2 visitors) added to the mix. I made my brother a spot on the floor in Daisy's room because GF was in the living room floor on a mattress. And who wants to sleep in the same room with someone you've never really met before? So, at 2 a.m. my brother decides to be as loud as possible settling down in Dasiy's room. Luke, 8 weeks old at the time was in the living room by Grandma in his portable crib. Daisy wakes up and starts screaming, "Get Uncle Dan out of my room!" I go in there to calm her down and tell him to just go crash on the living room couch even though GF is in there sawing logs. Just as my brother was falling asleep on the couch with a pillow over his head, HF's mom wakes up to go to the bathroom. She's feeling around for her glasses that she thought she put on the couch and got more than she bargained for when she groped my brother. She then screams at the top of her lungs. Everyone wakes up except HF, who can sleep through anything. I finally fall asleep only to be awakened by HF crawling on the floor towards the bed whispering, "Move over!" Come to find out, HF had gotten up a couple of hours later with the double dragon and once again passed out. This time no one came to his rescue and when he woke up he crawled back to bed. The next morning Grandma Fuzz discovered a pair of bent and smashed glasses lying behind the bathroom door. They were HF's alright. I went to check on him and his face was all messed up; bruised, scratched, and bleeding from falling off the toilet unconscious once again.

After a third time of vomiting and passing out we had him checked out by the doctor. I guess it's normal for some people. Too much pressure on their brain or something. He's totally fine. But being the hypochondriac that I am, I was certain that he had a brain tumor or something.

make way for ducklings

If you don't know this vintage children's story by Robert McCloskey, it's about a pair of ducks that went looking for the perfect place to build their nest. They meet a policeman named Michael that feeds them peanuts every day. One day the duck family attempts to cross a busy road and Michael comes to their rescue and directs traffic to ensure that the ducklings get across the street safely. Michael calls for backup basically and has policemen on another corner stopping traffic so that they can again cross the street. The policemen smiled and waved goodbye to the ducks. It's a great story with great illustrations.

The reason I bring this little story up is because the other day, HF took a page out of this story in what I like to call "the wild goose chase" (even though they were ducks). Maybe this is a more accurate depiction of what actually happened. This is a shot from the movie Hot Fuzz, which HF is so perfectly and affectionately named after.

Apparently a mother and her little ducklings were attempting to cross a bridge/walkway and two of her babies fell down into a storm drain. When people would walk by the mother duck would attack. So needless to say, HF arrived with his FTO. The FTO laughed and told HF to have at it, so HF decided he would try and get the babies out of the storm drain. By now a large crowd had gathered. HF bent down to see if he could coax the babies out and the mother duck came flying at him and "bit" him on his back. I'm not really sure what you call it when they are using their beak. It was continuously attacking HF and going for his face. He had his arm up to block its advances. So then in one swift movement, he whips out the baton and everyone gasps in horror. But he tricked them all. He didn't use it to beat the worried mother, he used it to gently nudge out the ducks since he couldn't reach them. They came out and went running into the street. He stops traffic and some helpful citizens came and scopped up the ducks to save their lives and take them back to the pond. Meanwhile, this is all being photographed and/or recorded by cell phone so maybe it will be seen on you tube. Then HF said that everyone stood around cheering and clapping for a moment. A great PR moment.

Here's the funny part. One of the nice passers-by took the duckling to its mother and the mother freaked, flapped her wings and came flying at this guy, grabs on to his crotch and doesn't let go. the guy tries to shake her off and he's running around with the duck attached, screaming. Maybe that will be seen on AFV.

All in a day's work. However, I think I prefer this kind of call to domestics, shootings, and the like.

what a year

Now that everything is somewhat back to "normal", I've had time to reflect on this past year's events. I've realized a couple of things.

1. I haven't even had time to think until now!
2. Life has a lot of joy, challenges, and pain
3. We can do hard things

Here's a sample of some of the tougher things we've faced since HF joined the academy, and held a full time job among other responsibilities.

• Pervert next door neighbor asked me if I wanted to have an affair. He never saw HF and thought he was deployed in Iraq. Yeah, crazy! I'll have to tell this story in its entirety some time. Although traumatizing and creepy at the time, it's quite hilarious now. He wouldn't let up for a few days. He would wait for me when I would pull up in our car with the kids and everything. He doused on his cologne and would ask to come in to our apt so he could take a picture of me, or ask me to come into his apt so he could take a picture of me. He had a lot of interesting things to say. He's married with kids and everything. I told him not to talk to me and was tough and would say, "NO!", but he didn't leave me alone until HF confronted him. Jerk.
  
• 15 year old in the neighborhood with a lengthy criminal history broke into several homes with a weapon with the intent to harm and molest the young children living there. Another big long story. One morning we woke up and our living room window was open and the blinds had been pushed all the way to one side. Big hand print on the window and muddy footprints under the window. As far as we know, no one came in. . . (yeah, we live in the ghetto- graffiti, gangs, sex offenders, you name it)
• Daisy broke her femur.
• HF turned 30.
• We found out we were pregnant with baby #3, a boy, born on Halloween
• The day Daisy got her cast off, I broke my ankle. I was 6 months pregnant.
• I went to stay with my parents in Oregon for 2 months.
  
• HF's brother got married in Kentucky. I had to miss it.
• I got clipped at full speed by this guy while pushing the kids in a stroller. This was a couple days before I broke my ankle. I told HF about this guy and how after he rammed into me he said, "Oops. Well, you were walking too slow". I was pushing the kids down a handicap ramp in a double stroller. Pulling on it to keep it from flying down the steep ramp. He came flying down the ramp and just full on rammed into me. Turns out this guy was in the news a few weeks later because he was suing a store for not allowing him to ride his rollerblades in their store while he pushed his wheelchair with his cat in it. Turns out he has a history of suing stores for this and he also has a history of ramming people on accident. He's crazy. He has an injury from being hit by a bus 10 years ago, but for some reason riding roller blades instead of sitting in his wheelchair is easier for him. It's just my luck that this happened to me. Seriously, I've got Murphy's Law baaaad. Fortunately, I laugh about it. Gives me good stories to tell at parties.
  
• HF joined a search and rescue team.
  
• My brother got married in CA days before our baby was born. I couldn't go for obvious reasons.
  
• Daisy started Kindergarten. I am that mom that stands outside anxiously after she's already made it to her classroom.
• My grandma died in a car accident
• HF's great aunt died
• HF's aunt had a stroke
• HF's mom tried to commit suicide
• on the same exact day of the attempted suicide in a different state, HF's dad had a heart attack. (they are divorced)
• HF's younger sister was admitted to a hospital for heart problems (all of this death related stuff in HF's family was in the same week!)
• HF flew back east to deal with the family drama. He moved the mom's loser boyfriend out of her house, began all the legal paperwork to keep this guy away, he was a total con artist wanting all her money. Everyone knew it except for her. Classic. HF gathered all of the family and organized a babysitting system, got her enrolled in AA, basically helped her begin a new life and only had 3 days to do it and had to fly back home and that night go to the academy. I'm still waiting for him to have some kind of emotional reaction to all this. It might be after FTO. He's a strong guy though. This is the lifetime television for women story I mentioned a while back. It's got it all. It's a good story.
• general poverty. I say this more as a joke. We have everything we need and feel very blessed, but there's been some major sacrifices. We did become completely debt free this year, but a million dollars would be nice to buy a house and get HF all the police gear he wants, and a much needed tropical vacation would be nice. . .
  

crash

I've been crashing. It's feels similar to my college days when at the end of a semester. I would go home and just crash for days. I would sleep for hours upon hours, only waking up to eat. I would throw up or dry heave and then just go back to sleep, and on it would go for a few days or even a couple of weeks. I don't know if it was my body's way of making up for lost sleep, or some kind of stress relief, but without fail I would get really sick and that's been the case this time after HF's graduation. The last of the guests left, and I have been zombie like. A little cold and cough, burning eyes from being so tired, waking up in weird places and in weird positions not knowing how I got there, and I don't know if it's the so called mom brain or what, but my short term memory is shot! So forgive me if I'm short on updates this week. The adrenaline that was keeping me going is gone. Now I'm readjusting to a new routine and a new life.

Here's an FTO blooper. Last night HF pulled a guy over for a traffic violation and as soon as he got to his window, a sprinkler turned on and hit him full blast. His FTO was on the other side of the car dying from laughter. I'm thinking that the guy inside the car was secretly going, "YES!"

And from 3 year old Luke who has discovered that daddy is a policeman.

Luke: Daddy, you a policeman?

HF: Yes, do you want to be a policeman like daddy?

Luke: No, I going to be a fire man.

HF: Hey. . .

3 wishes

This lock for our 3 year old boy. I don't remember where I found the image.

Rosie the maid from the Jetsons. This would be a gift for the whole family, but mostly for me.

Maybe our baby would be comforted by this creepy Zaky infant pillow found here. Supposedly it works! I think it's funny anyway.

off the top of my mind

I met CJ the other day, and you know what? I liked her. She still shouldn't be a police officer, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends, right? The poor girl. I'll still share stories about her when I hear them though.

I went to the courthouse with HF to see him get sworn in. The first time being somewhere with him in his uniform. Maybe it's because we were at a courthouse, but it was kind of funny to see a few people steer clear of this small group of officers. I also realized that I'm not scared of the Po-lease any more. Up until recently I just about had a heart attack whenever a police car drove by or if I saw one in the same restaurant as me. I was sure that I would be arrested for making eye contact.

HF had one of his first embarrassing rookie moments the other day. He was at a department shoot with some other officers. He had to do a department qualification. Anyway, he was running everywhere. When he ran out of ammo, he would run as fast as he could to reload. Everything he did and everywhere he went he was running. It wasn't until he realized that the other officers were sitting there laughing at him that he realized he wasn't in the academy anymore and he didn't have to run to do everything. They were cracking jokes at him and he felt like an idiot, but it comes with the territory.

I'm thinking of getting these two items: hazmat suit and industrial tongs

I thought of this because HF had me help him sanitize his handcuffs the other day when he was in a hurry. Gross.

Lesson #2

When your husband's shift starts at 9 pm, it really starts at 8 pm. He has to get to the station, get dressed, get his "act" together, and then has to be briefed at 8:45. So note to self: 9 pm to 7 am = 8 pm to 8 am more or less. I call it "boy time" when HF tells me how long he will be gone and then is not back for some time after that. For example, HF will say, "I'm going to go over to Bob's house for a couple minutes to pick something up. I'll be right back". Then I calculate that into boy time. For those of you not sure how to calculate boy time, it is 2 minutes for every 1 minute. So if they tell you that they will be gone shooting guns for 3 hours they are really telling you that they will be back in 6 hours. So you can't really get mad at them if before leaving you say, "Dear, is that in boy time or regular time?" Just kidding. You can be mad.

I like his shift schedule right now. It's 4 days on, 3 days off. Right now he has Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday off. It's a little bit of an adjustment, but I think because of how much he has been going going going for the last year, anything is fantastic compared to that. This is the most we have seen him in a year! And we are loving it. Today he got to participate with other law enforcement agencies in the state, doing the torch run for the special olympics. He ran 3 miles and got to carry the torch part of the way.

Lesson #2 from HF's FTO: Balancing work and family life. He told HF to refrain from doing unnecessary overtime and to spend as much time as he can with his family. They talked about how he should establish now anything that I might not be willing to talk about pertaining to the job. I've already told HF a long time ago that I would love for him to talk to me about anything and everything so long as it doesn't involve sex crimes against women and children, or any crimes involving children for that matter. At the time I remember feeling a little guilty for telling him that. Like, what if he really needed to talk to me about something that is related to one of these forbidden areas, and bottles it all in because I told him he couldn't talk to me about those things, and then he loses his mind?! As you can see, I jump to conclusions rather quickly. Anyway, after he talked to his FTO I was comforted that there were other resources for him to turn to when he needs to. HF was definitely okay with my not wanting to talk about certain things, but I told him I was also okay with him "violating" the rules if he felt it were absolutely necessary. I really want to be supportive, but I have my limits.

Shortly after we were married and I was pregnant with Daisy, we were house sitting for some friends. We were watching television one night and HF stopped on an episode of Law & Order. I think it must've been the SVU version. Anyway, a girl was raped by a group of guys and they had a video of it in court, and although I know it wasn't real, it bothered me, but my reaction to it was so unexpected. I began sobbing uncontrollably and asked HF to turn it off. Then I sobbed uncontrollably it seems for the next few hours. It was crazy. Even though I haven't had the same reaction as that again, I still feel the same way. It's hard for me to watch/hear/see/read about those things. Violence or sexual violence involving women and/or children just send me over the edge.

So there's our first rule regarding work related issues that HF could bring home. Do you have any ground rules when it comes to discussing work at home? Is there anything that's off limits?

bizarre find

This is totally un-police related, but it was too good not to share. Daisy picked this book up at the library a few days ago and last night we finally got around to reading it. It's called The Lonely Doll by Dare Wright. At first, I'm not thinking much. It's just a book from the 50's, unique for it's photography. Well then I get to this:

If you can't read the caption it says, "I may be a silly", Mr. Bear answered, "but I know when a naughty little girl needs a spanking." Little Bear couldn't watch. He was afraid his turn was next.
He was right!

The reason Edith, the lonely doll, and Little Bear were getting a spanking from Mr. Bear was because they had gotten into some makeup and jewelry that wasn't theirs, and Edith isn't old enough to wear makeup. Scrawled on the mirror in lipstick is, "Mr. Bear is just a silly old thing".

If you want to see more pictures and excerpts from the book I found some here. Daisy couldn't understand why HF and I were dying laughing while we were reading this book to her. It was just so weird.

the graduation

Images from graduation weekend:

a roll of crime scene tape. It came in handy.

a thank you from HF to me

HF's other love in life. This is a gourmet polish dog from a local hot dog shack. It has secret sauce, chopped white onions, sauerkraut, banana peppers, a dill pickle wedge, wrapped in a bun from a local bakery. Heart burn city, but it made many a man happy.

The cake: Funny story actually. I go to Costco to pick it up and it's got just the tan circle in the middle of the cake. No sprinkles. Nothin'. So being short on time, I take it home, and my brother and his wife, who is actually a wedding planner, decorate the rest of it. The ran to the store and got sprinkles, donuts, frosting for writing, the toy pigs and police toys. I think they did a pretty good job!
Here's HF talking to Daisy after the ceremony. He might make me take this off, but as you can see, I erased the info on his patch. I have no idea how to edit a photo, but I clicked on the eraser and crudely did away with his patch.

Okay. Let's get down to the nitty gritty.

HF was at the station Friday afternoon getting dressed and ready for the ceremony. We were going to meet him there, but he stopped at home on his way. It was the first time I saw him in full dress. My mouth gaped open and my eyes grew wide. I had no idea that seeing him in his uniform could cause such flutterings of the heart.

When we got to the ballroom, I had a great view of him the entire time because he was seated with the directors and other keynote speakers because he was giving the class speech. The cadets were all seated in the front couple of rows on the floor. When they called a cadet's name to come forward to receive their certificates, they would sit up on the stand facing the crowd. When it was HF's turn, his chief, and my brother (deputy dan) presented him his certificate. Then came the portion of the program where they awarded special awards to the cadets for specific achievements. For being the class leader, HF was given a gold, star-shaped paper weight with his name engraved, the date, and name of the academy and session. He was also given a benchmade griptonian (?) knife that he was really excited to get because I guess he had his eye on it or one just like it. The rest of the awards were given out for specific achievements.

1. Top Gun (the best shooter)
   
2. High Academic Award
   
3. (name of fallen officer) Memorial Professionalism and Ethical Behavior Award (AKA: the Honor Man- voted by the graduating class through secret ballet)
   
4. Outstanding Achiever (which is all around best in all categories)

Here's where it gets good. HF took every single award given except for the Top Gun! The guy who got that was a competition shooter for the majority of his life, so it would've been HF if it weren't for him. . . just sayin'.

It was amazing. They just kept calling his name. He was visibly touched by this which was so nice to see. It was really sweet when he received the Honor Man award which is chosen by the class. He looked over at his class and just shook his head in disbelief. He was really overcome by it all. I felt bad for the rest of the class for a second, but HF really deserved it. I was extremely proud and touched. It was obvious also that his classmates were happy for him and that they love him. They really bonded as a class and helped and looked out for one another. After the ceremony he was given another award. The director came up to him and said, "There's actually one more award for you, but I felt bad so I waited to give it to you afterwards". It was the Director's List award. He had the highest certification test score and earned a spot on the Director's list!

They played a fun game at the end of the ceremony where they called out a fact about any given cadet and whoever it was about they had to stand up and the audience would clap. I found out that a couple of the cadets had served in the military and most recently in Iraq. I was pleased to see that they got a standing ovation. I also got to see CJ in action! There will definitely be more CJ stories. HF had a lot of nicknames like General, Major, Seargant Major, Captain, etc.

Then he gave the class speech. It was pretty short, but he did an excellent job. He's not the type that gets nervous in front of people, and he can also improv if he has to. Maybe I'll see if I can post the speech later with his permission. Then we came home with family and friends and had cake. He got a few gifts. An off duty holster, handcuff carrier, a badge clip, a possee box, handcuffs, dinero, etc. My brother got him a box of Krispy Kremes so he could have his 'first' donut as a cop.

On Saturday, he went shooting with his brother. Then around noon we had a BBQ provided by his favorite gourmet hot dog shack, fruit, chips, drinks, salads, more cake, the kids played at the park, there was crime scene tape wrapped around our eating area, black plastic tablecloths with body outlines, some police themed toys for the kids to play with (cop and robber bobble heads, police figurines, a giant magnifying class that they quickly put to use "burning" things (now our 3 year old steers clear of it because he thinks it will burn him), that's all I can think of. I'm sorry I wasn't able to put more pictures of the ceremony and other things in here as we have elected to remain anonymous so far.

It was the perfect weekend. An amazing ceremony, where HF was recognized for the amazing person he is, good friends and family, good food, a new job, a raise, etc. etc.. We feel truly blessed and happy right now. What a great feeling right now in this transistion. This new chapter in our lives.

Favorite thing heard on Friday nightafter the ceremony?

Our 6 year old daughter said, "Today is the best day of my life".

Lesson #1

My very first lesson as a brand new police wife, even though it's something that has happened previously in our marriage, and I've been told countless times by others. . .

1. Don't expect to see your husband on Mother's Day, or any holiday for that matter.

I knew this, and I know not to ever get my hopes up, I just have a mind like Dr. Dorian on Scrubs. My mind always wanders off in a dream sequence.

HF has a really cool FTO. Every night he has these little lessons that he teaches him. Lesson #1 was "Don't be stupid". He shared with him a story about another officer in the department that pulled over a guy for reckless driving. He was arguing with this kid, telling him that if he took this particular corner at the speed he was driving that he would flip his car. The kid would say, "No I wouldn't", the cop would say, "yes you would". Finally the cop says, "Look, I'll show you. And he did. And yes you guessed it. He flipped his car over. So then the FTO turns to HF and says, "what's the lesson?" and HF said, "Don't be stupid."

I imagine the FTO with a clipboard with a list written in crayon that says, "Lesson #1: Don't be stupid", and then a box to check mark when he passes. In all seriousness, he's learning a lot and he's doing well. I've never seen him look happier and be more excited. But he's got a good head on his shoulders. I know he'll do great things. Graduation details tomorrow.

It's official

I am a Police Wife.

WOW would be the one word to sum up this weekend's events. I will be back on Monday with more details.

in preparation for the ceremony

High and Tight. 3 year old Luke with a "daddy haircut".

in honor of our 7th wedding anniversary

These are some annoying things I do that HF has put up with for 7 years:

• I eat all the peanut butter ribbon out of the Peanut Butter Cup ice cream.
  
• I lay diagonally across the bed when I sleep.
• I booby trap the cupboards and the fridge so that when he opens them, all the food or dishes fall out. Sometimes I do it on purpose.
  
• I talk not only during previews in the theater, but during the movie as well (I only do this to HF, not when I'm out with friends).
• I ask questions and talk during the news or a tv show just as the newscaster or show answers whatever it is I'm asking HF-SO annoying, I know!
• I never put a trash bag liner in the trash can after taking the trash out.
• When we are shopping and I decide I don't want something I ditch it wherever we are (He personally sees to it that items are put back in their place. He's also never ditched a shopping cart in a parking lot. He takes it without fail to the cart corral. I always dare him not to do it)
• I wait until it's late and he's very tired and almost asleep to have meaningful conversations.
• I never fold or iron our laundry. I just kind of shove it all in the drawers.
• I check on the kids like a billion times in the middle of the night.
• When I'm having trouble making a decision between 2 items, I tell HF to make the decision for me. Then I choose the opposite of what he says.
• Just like a guy roommate, if he leaves a treat or something uneaten longer than a day, I eat it. (I was raised with 4 older brothers- they taught me this)
• If he has something that I like, it usually ends up being mine, like a t-shirt for example.
• I never fill up the Brita Filter
  

Here's what HF does that drives me crazy:

• always leaves the main floor bathroom light on without fail
• has a bunch of razors out at once, using them all. why don't you just use one until you can't use it anymore?
  
• takes the sheets and the comforter off of me while he is sleeping and wrestles and thrashes around and they either end up perfectly covering him or on the floor. I usually wake up freezing in the fetal position
• He points the shower head facing OUT of the shower!
• he hangs his baseball caps up on any decorative hook in the house when it's meant for a painting or some other decoration
• When he gets home in the morning he puts his clothes in a pile underneath the night stand next to the bed and tells me they are clean. I try and ignore it, but a few days later there is an even bigger pile of clothes that are "clean" that he has no intention of wearing twice.
• When he walks in, he leaves all of his "stuff" on top of the entertainment center which is somewhat near our door. It's like his personal dresser top. Then when he can't find anything, he asks me where it is. Sometimes I hate it that I know where it is.
  
• He puts all of the empty containers from his lunches in the trunk of his car. He only brings them in when I've run out of containers. The worst part is having to open them after they've been sitting forever and are covered in mold.
  
• He drives like an old man! He is overly careful. I appreciate that he is so careful and values the life of his passengers, but I really don't want to grow old while we run errands.
  

What's funny, is that these things have gone from annoying, to not a big deal anymore for the most part. As I have been helping to care for him so much this last year, it made these things become sort of endearing and truly, sarcasm aside, I would miss if he were gone. He has been gone so much that any 'sign' of him made me smile or brought me comfort. I realized that he never once has complained about the things I do that might annoy him. I also realized how much he needs me. We're in a good place right now. Learning through life and experience.

I was talking to my sister about this and she said that her husband puts all of his socks in a small garbage can. He doesn't match them together, he just puts them all in there and then fishes through it to find 2 matching socks whenever he gets dressed. He also hangs up his dirty clothes in his closet, but drapes his clean clothes all over their room! On the bed, on chairs, etc. WEIRD.

What are some "annoying" things you and/or your spouse do that you think you might miss if they were gone?

i had to try it at least once

Tonight I had the mail key in my pocket, and HF was looking for it. He approached me and said,

HF: Do you know where the mail key is?"

Me: (In my most dramatic and confrontational voice I could muster up) I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SEARCH ME.

HF: Okay, step over here please.

Me: Really? okay.

HF: Spread your legs out.

More.

A little further please.

Me: Like this?

HF: Yeah, that's perfect. Okay, now put your hands behind your head and intertwine your fingers. Yes, just like that.

It was over in about 3 seconds and it wasn't fun or romantic in any way. He pulled my hands back a little while they were behind my head and made me lose balance. Then in a very mechanical and professional manner conducted his search. When he got to the key he asked if I had any weapons or drugs, and then he pulled out my key. I said I was a little disappointed and that I thought it would be a little different because I was his wife, but he treated me just like anyone else.

He went to get the mail.

We got a check for $300 from a family member! We already know where that's going.

Tomorrow's itinerary: My brother, a cop in CA, and his wife get here.

a first for me

When HF left for FTO tonight, he said, "See you in the morning", and it hit me like a ton of bricks for the very first time. All these racing thoughts went through my mind. Here's a sample which may or may not be slightly exaggerated:

This could be the last time I see him. What do I say? Do we do what they do in the movies where they clasp hands sobbing and pledge to love one another forever and that even if one of has to die, we will go on loving each other and will watch from up above, and then I cut a lock of my hair and soak it with tears and kisses before placing it in his hand? Do I fall to his feet sobbing and apologize for how mad I was at him earlier for not caring about the food and decorations at his party on Friday?

Instead I just said, "Have fun!". But on a more serious note, I was contemplative for a while after he left thinking about not so much what I say specifically when he walks out the door every night for work, but more what I'm doing each day so that if he doesn't walk back through that door in the morning I don't have regrets. I don't want to be Deb the Downer, I just want to have a plan for the what ifs. It kind of feels surreal right now. I've been expecting this, I've been waiting a long time for him to start working as an officer, and now that it is here, and he is leaving the house in a bullet proof vest, I just found myself a little stunned tonight. What do you say? How do you NOT think about the worst case scenario? So this is a first for me.

I know I need to read a few police books. They are on my list. But right now I'm still trudging my way through HF's On Combat. It's a really good book, it's just taking me forever.

So here's the question: What do YOU say when you say "goodbye" when you or your loved one is heading to work? Is it "see ya later"? Or are you more of the dramatic type like in my racing thoughts mentioned above.

Certified

Please welcome my first guest blogger, Hot Fuzz (aka: HF). The following post is his account of what happened yesterday when he passed his certification test.

Yesterday the weight was lifted. I had my final certification test to become a state certified law enforcement officer. The PT portion of the test went well but the written portion quickly turned into a nightmare. Ours was the first class to have the written portion administered on computers and it quickly became apparent that the bugs hadn’t been worked out all the way. When we arrived at the computer lab it took about an hour for the site to load. Once it finally allowed us access to the test, 5 people got locked out mid test and couldn’t get back in. An hour later everyone’s computers shut down for no reason.

By then we were all freaking out, wondering what had become of our exams and what would happen to our scores. After 15 minutes the site allowed almost everyone back in and had miraculously saved everyone’s work. Many of us were relieved and resumed working the test when someone noticed that the built in test clock had continued running while we were trying to get back into the system, costing everyone 15 minutes of valuable test time. By this time the director of the academy had decided to allow everyone who didn’t finish, to retake the test in paper format the next day. By the time it was all over it was 11:00pm. I managed to finish the test that night with a passing score.

No one expected to have to go through so much trouble at the end of the academy just to take a test; but the experience taught us to never expect anything to be easy. Shortly after getting married Mrs. Fuzz and I came to the conclusion that life would be easier for us if we planned for the worst and were pleasantly surprised when anything less than disaster happened. We’ve followed that motto from the start and it’s made it considerably easier to deal with obstacles when they present themselves. I’m just glad I was able to get through it and maintain a calm head throughout.

With all that being said, there is absolutely no way I could have done this without Mrs. Fuzz. I consider her vital to my success in the academy and now as I go through my department’s FTO program. She has been the constant in my life throughout this year of utter chaos. My graduation from the academy is just as much her victory as it is mine and I count myself very lucky to have her in my corner.

Thank you Mrs. Fuzz for letting me sleep (crash is more like it) when I needed to, for making sure I ate right, for holding my feet when I needed to practice my sit-ups, for putting up with hours upon hours of noisy dry firing in the living room, for washing my uniforms and keeping track of my handcuff keys when I was too scatter brained to remember where they were, for giving me a closet and organizing it, for making the sacrifices necessary to give me the best chance at success, and for being the best mother our children could ever have. I love you so much.