cops are people too, you know

As a new (6 months now!) police wife, I learn or realize something new everyday. Not everything I learn or realize is pleasant. Some are, however. For example, I just recently realized that I am no longer afraid of cops. This is huge.

The other day, I was driving down the street and a cop pulled in behind me. Usually when something like this happens, I slam on my brakes or do something else to draw attention to my vehicle out of nervousness. And then I say out loud to myself, "idiot!". I was surprised at my reaction. There was no heart acceleration, no sudden jerky movements, and no sideways glances. I thought it could be a fluke, so the last few days when I would drive past a cop, I would test myself some more. "I'm not scared of you! You're just like everyone else." But the final test was when loud sirens erupted near by and instead of panicking and thinking I'm about to pulled over and thrown against the hood of my car, I silently prayed that wherever this officer was headed as he zoomed past me, that he would be safe from harm. That's what the sirens do to me now. "Please be careful", I silently think as I imagine that the officer responding has someone like me waiting for them at home. This has been an unexpected response.

So I used to be scared of cops. Like, really scared. I like how Roanoke Cop calls it the "blue flu" when people do crazy things they wouldn't normally do when they see a police car. That was me. And I know it. When I was a newly licensed 16 year old, I was driving my parents minivan home and I saw a cop pull in right behind me before I got on the freeway. My immediate reaction was a jerk of the wheel because my heart just about leapt out of my chest. Of course, seconds later, I got pulled over. When she came to my window, she looked surprised. She said, "Oh! You're not a drunk person" She thought I was a drunk driver because of my awesome driving skills. She let me off and just told me to be careful. I was shaking for an hour after that.

Even when I'm not the one driving, or even if I'm pushing my kids in a stroller down the street, there's this voice in the back of my mind that tells me that they are going to arrest me for whatever reason. Maybe I match a description, or I looked at them funny as they drove by and that must mean that I'm hiding something. I know many experience a degree of nervousness, but mine is a little more amped up than the average person I'd say. Up until recently when I would drive past a cop, I would tell myself to breathe and I would chant in my mind, "Don't look over 'cause it will look like you have shifty eyes!" or, "Stay calm and they will drive past you. You don't have anything to be worried about. You have nothing to hide." My guilty complex would even insist that I smile and wave, but then thank goodness my rational self would step in and say, "you will do no such thing!".

I know. You think I'm a crazy person. Besides having some moderate anxiety issues, I don't know why I would react this way. A professor in a psychology class I took addressed this. He was talking about Learned Response and actually used the example of when people see a cop car. The majority of people almost always slam on their breaks even if they weren't speeding. Most people realize they are being silly. I even realize that my reactions were silly, but for some reason I couldn't react normally after seeing a cop. I wondered if HF would have that effect on me. My heart did spasm out of control the first few times I saw him in uniform or in his patrol car. At first I couldn't tell if it was fear or attraction. Maybe it was both. My heart freaked out when the professor was describing the scenario!

Here's where I document all my interactions with the police. I realize they are not a big deal now. It was mostly in my head. Hypochondriac.

When we got married, we moved to Kansas City, Missouri. I had a California drivers license with my maiden name on it, and I decided that I would get a Missouri ID card with my married name on it for the time being, because we were going to be moving to another state in just a few months. So fast forward a couple years later. I still had my CA drivers license, my Missouri ID card, I'm driving my husband's car with Virginia license plates, the insurance is under his mom's name, and I'm living in Nevada. I get pulled over for doing a CA roll through a stop sign. Daisy is in her car seat, 18 months old. The cop asks for license and registration. I give him the VA registration, my Missouri ID card, and my California license with a different name on it. He looks everything over, and says, "Let me get this straight. You have a drivers license from CA with your maiden name on it, a MO ID card with your married name on it, you're driving a car with VA plates, the car is registered to your mother-in-law in Virginia and you live in Nevada? I just smiled at him and said "yes to everything". He just shook his head and said he's be right back. When he did come back, my daughter had unbuckled herself and had climbed to the front seat and was sitting on my lap behind the wheel. I thought, "This is it. He's going to haul me off to jail, my daughter will have to go to CPS, and HF will have to bail me out." He just gave me a ticket for driving without a license because I should've had a new one by then for the state that I had been residing in for the past couple of years. At the time, I was unwilling to give up my CA citizenship.

A few months later, I was at home in our little 600 sf apartment and there was loud banging on the door. I opened it up, and there was a gigantic police officer standing there, holding HF up, who had looked like he had just been pummeled. He said in a booming voice, "DOES THIS BELONG TO YOU?!" It was such a confusing moment. Then the cop started laughing and explained that they had done pepper spray training that day and he was just bringing him home (HF had a job at the time that required he carry OC and the police deparment did the training for that). I had no idea what HF was up to that day and I thought he was in some kind of trouble. I guess the look on my face must have been priceless.

When I was dating a cowboy in a small town, we were always getting pulled over or approached by the local law. That always majorly freaked me out because they always knew who he was because of past dealings. Turns out he had an extensive history going back to his early adolescent days. His grandfather loved telling the story of how one morning he was reading the paper and saw on the front page that one of his granddaughters was being recognized for an accomplishment. On the back of the paper his grandson was being fined and going to court for shooting a fox not only on someone else's property, but it was illegal to do so anyway. Whenever he got pulled over and I was with him they always asked me if I wanted to be there. That embarrassed me. Girls love a bad boy don't they? Still, I imagined that the police there had started some sort of file with my name on it. I felt awful being pulled over so many times with this guy. I didn't want to be associated with his past.

One day I brought HF lunch. One side of the building was under construction. The other side that I could access was for police vehicles only. He told me that he would meet me out there and grab his lunch and that it was okay if I pulled in there briefly. So I did it. I was saying softly, "Hurry up HF". Then of course a group of officers come out of the door, one of them was the chief. He looked at me, blocking his car, and gave a disapproving look. I wanted to throw up. He had no idea who I was at the time. He came over and tapped on the passenger side window and asked if I needed help. I just smiled uncomfortably, and what came out of my mouth was unbelievable. I blurted out something about dropping off HF's lunch, blah blah blah. I had no control of my mouth. He looked confused for a moment but as soon as I said HF's name, his face lit up and he went on about how awesome he is (HF's his Golden child). I felt like an idiot for days but I'm okay now.

Once again, I realize I was being totally irrational and ridiculous, but the point is, I don't experience police anxiety any longer. Only when it's to do with my policeman and he's telling me about a scuffle or something, or I see him on You tube (which has been twice. same night, different videos).

50% off coupon

I got this coupon in an email this morning from a friend and it actually works! It's from Oprah's show. For today only, you can print off this coupon and use it at Payless shoes on ANYTHING in the store. And you can use in on multiple items. This is perfect timing because I need to get the kids some shoes.

frivolous finds: police & fire combo

This is at Costco right now for $79.00. We probably won't be getting it, but I liked it all the same. It's called Everyday Heroes by KidKraft.
And this little police car is at clearance at a nearby Shopko for $39.00 instead of $69.00. This one's nagging me a bit. I do like it and think the boys would get good use out of it. Decisions. . .

CJ on the move

I have a special announcement:

Our inside source has confirmed that CJ is applying for a job as a dispatcher in HF's agency. Can you imagine the damage that could be done over the radio?!

Don't know who CJ is or need a refresher course? See here.

Updated Nov. 2: CJ did not get the job! They hired an experienced dispatcher instead. I have to admit although relieved for everyone else's sake, part of me feels a tad disappointed because I do love me some department drama. Well, at least CJ drama. Maybe another CJ will come along, or who knows? Maybe this still isn't the end of CJ after all. There have already been many times I thought we had heard the last of her. She won't give up easy. She wants to be affiliated so badly with this department. No other department will do.

secrets that are still secret because you don't really know me

I am finally on the mend. HF still feels pretty lousy, and now the kids are sick, so I have been pretty busy taking care of these people and saying, "poor little bunny" to HF every so often. I would say it's been nice having him at home all week, but it hasn't. He's been so sick and in bed all day and night. It's kind of nice to be back on our routine somewhat. I am in the living room, watching a movie, wearing a face mask, eating things I don't let anyone else eat during the day. You know. Things I don't do when HF is here. Unfortunately, he has gone back to work still not feeling well.

A few days ago, I rolled over to face HF in bed and saw that his nightstand and the floor were littered with tissues, medicine, police equipment, a giant pile of clothes (including an old green military jumpsuit that he actually put on the other day to wear around the house "because it's comfortable" and "it easily zips and unzips'), and other objects. He even had a box full of garbage next to his side of the bed that he was using to throw his tissues in, if they even made it in. Because I'm a bit of a neat freak, I said in disgust, as I hacked up a lung, "you know, a little piece of me dies inside when I look at your side of the room and the mess you've made of it". He said half asleep, with his voice barely there, "Every time you complain about my side of the room, somewhere a kitten dies". "That's messed up" I wheezed, then sneezed, and we both rolled away from each other. HF back to his snoring, and me to gaze at the beauty and cleanliness of my side.

I haven't been in much of a "talkative" mood these past few days, but I've got a few things on my mind. I've had a burst of energy today. I started getting caught up on blogs, I started deep cleaning the kitchen, and the whole house really, cloroxing the germs. I even set up our Christmas tree without lights and decorations so I won't have to later on. I know, it's nuts. I also hung up HF's academy awards in nice frames, and other plaques, and diplomas he's received in our office. I'm trying to make the office sort of his room where his life's accomplishments are on display. I guess I'm doing it now because I have the energy and we get sick a lot in the winter, and in the back of my mind it's because HF's dad and stepmom will be here the first week of December and I want everything "perfect". So the brown smeared hand prints going up and down the stairwells about the same height as a certain 3 year old will be wiped clean. That sort of thing.

I finished reading the third Harry Potter book and am watching the corresponding movie right now as we speak! To tell you the truth, this is my first attempt at reading the Harry Potter series. It's not that I was against them, I just didn't have any interest. I saw the books everywhere for years. People seemed to talk about the stories constantly, but it just never held my interest. We even have the books given to us by my mother, but still never picked one up. I even remember having a conversation with someone once and they mentioned some specific event that occurred in the series and I had no idea what they were talking about. Maybe it was in my own mind mostly, but they didn't have anything to say to me after they found out I hadn't read the Harry Potter series. The nerve! And to top it all off, I happened to be at Borders Books the very night one of the books was being released and even though it was well before midnight, all the wizards were there getting ready for the party. I was browsing in the children's picture book section, and I noticed all these acne-laced teenagers dressed like nerdy wizards sitting in the aisles, laying on the floors, and it was shocking. I really thought I had been living under a rock after having my baby because I had totally missed that teenagers these days were now dressing like wizards. Nerdy wizards was the new goth. I remember calling HF and whispering what I was seeing, and of course, he was like, "Duh. It's the midnight releasing of Harry Potter." Then I said accusingly, "You would know, wouldn't you!" (he would) and hung up. I went to the midnight showing of the first Harry Potter movie with HF. I remember I was pregnant with our first child, and I was tired and uncomfortable and annoyed at all the wizards. We were there with other couples that were fans and I just played along, but once it got dark inside I snoozed. These are the secrets I am referring to in the title of this post. These are the things I cannot tell our friends and family out of fear of being rejected. But, I now have the interest. And they are fun. Even hard to put down. And I don't have to go to the library or to Blockbuster to get the books or movies because everyone has them.


I'm not the kind of girl that gets together with other girls to spill the beans about our feelings. I'm known in my circle of friends as someone that takes a long time to open up. That doesn't mean I'm not sociable and all that, I just like to keep my personal feelings to myself. But I will say it here. I love having babies. I love being pregnant. I don't know if we'll have any more kids. We think we might like to have 4 in all. I have a bit of a hard time when they grow up, but I am enjoying the ages of my children and what that brings for the most part.

And finally something police related. HF does not tell people that he's a cop.While I understand his reasons why, sometimes I get annoyed when he goes out of his way to avoid telling certain people that he's a cop. I don't remember the cops I've known through my life keeping it a secret. I understand that sometimes it's for security reasons. Sometimes it's to prevent the annoying questions and pestering, but I feel like I can't freely tell people what HF does for a living. It's not that I want to go about proclaiming what he does, it just bothers me that I can't mention what he does when someone asks without feeling a little apprehensive. I'm wondering if it's a rookie thing. Maybe after a while he won't be on edge so much. I think he also doesn't want to appear as though he's cocky.

We have a neighbor that is a former foster kid. She's around my age, but has had a very rough and difficult life. I talk to her almost every day, but I've never mentioned what HF does for a living. She loves the kids in the neighborhood and always hollers at the cars that drive by too fast. Anyway, I was out on a walk recently with the kids and stopped to chat. She brought up neighborhood crime and mentioned that there's been a police car parking out in front of her house lately (Not HF's by the way). At this point, HF skateboards over to where we are just in time to hear our neighbor say, "[name of our city] cops are so mean!!!" I was about to say, "Oh, HF is one of those mean ones", but I stopped myself and decided to see what HF would say instead. He just smiled big at her and said, "I know! They are!" and left it at that. I know he wouldn't have a problem with her knowing, he's just not going to offer up that information without a little prodding I guess. I guess we are both still adjusting to the newness of it all.

HF leaves next week for RAD training. He misses Halloween with the kids and baby's first birthday. It will be our first time changing a birthday to fit our schedule. I think I might be attending a Halloween party by myself too. I'm really bummed about that. I don't really want to go without HF. It seems weird, but it's a big deal to my friend and she wants me to come even if he's not going to be there. So we'll see about that.

the man cold

Are any of your men guilty of this? Mine is for sure.

we have the flu

and I feel like the Little Red Hen. Who's going to. . .

• feed the baby/kids?
• make the meals?
• do the dishes?
• clean up the bathrooms?
• vacuum the floors?
• wash all the clothes?
• Run errands?
• comfort a crying baby?
  
• take care of us while we are in bed?

I thought I was at the end of my illness. I guess it was just the beginning. If I were the only one sick in the house, I might put the back of my hand to my forehead and swoon, fake some of the more serious symptoms, and "need" special treatment, but looks like HF is worse off than me. Conveniently, he got sick on his days off. I told him he probably planned it and that medicine is for wusses, but I went and got him what he requested anyway. He doesn't think I'm funny when he's sick. He also doesn't like what I use to fight illness. I load up on Black Elderberry, Echinacea, Zinc, and vitamin C. I brought him some of my concoctions in a little "vial", and he asked, "what is this?" I laughed like an evil scientist and told him I would tell him after he drank it. Most people don't drink something when presented that way, but he did. He's still not convinced it does anything. So it's a contest to see who gets better faster. I was hoping that we would get the swine flu about the first week of December when HF's dad was planning on visiting (to prevent him from actually coming to visit), but NO. It had to be now. Question is, can you get it twice in the same season? I hope this is it for the rest of winter. It's not fun when your insides want to be on the outside.

this is how we roll

This evening on our quest for the perfect pumpkin, we drove past one of those car graveyards called "Pick A Part", and outside on the side of the road was this beauty. We both laughed out loud at the same time and I made HF pull over to get a good picture of it on his phone. You gotta love the paint job. In case it's hard to see, on the door that's painted white, they painted a gold star and on top of that, 'Sheriff'. I'm thinking it was used at some kind of demolition derby before being dropped off here.

Speaking of demolition derbies, I'm having a flashback. When I went to college, I left my home state of California for the very first time, and was totally enthralled by all the cowboys I was suddenly surrounded by. I ended up dating one of these cowboys for over a year. I have to say one of his hobbies on the weekend was to drive to neighboring countryside towns and check out the possible derby cars parked all over people's yards. I was a little embarrassed by this, but hey, I wanted to experience this strange and new (for me) life firsthand. He was mostly doing it because he thought it was funny, but he loved going to these derbies (and taking me with him). Finally one day, he found the perfect car. It was a green 1972 Chrysler Newport. It was a great big boat of a car. I remember him saying, "Baby, this dashboard lights up like a noon day sky!" He got it ready for the derby and as a final touch he rigged the trunk so that at some point while he was driving around in the derby, he could pop the trunk open and inside he had somehow made a giant hand that sprang out and flipped off all the other drivers.

Classy, I know. My parents were so proud.

HF gives me a hard time about those days sometimes. He and I were friends during this time, both wanting so much more but he lived out east and I was out west. I remember telling him these stories on the phone and he would be like, "What are you doing with this guy?!" But I had a good time.

Flashback over.

sick

I am totally sick, so I've been holed up on the couch while the kids watch movies and I robotically play these games. Not only are they aesthetically pleasing, but most of them are actually quite addicting! I have gotten quite good at These Little Pigs, which you win by stacking pigs on top of each other to reach a cupcake that's floating in a bubble up in the sky. You also have to time it perfectly to have a little clock being held by a bird, drop on top of the pig's head to win extra points. I know, it sounds pretty ridiculous, but they are fun and so cute. It has taken me FOREVER to get good at it. The music accompanying the games is lovely and serene too. You should check it out and come back and tell me which game is your favorite. That is, if you have the time.

**added later** I've been playing some more and have some more favorites. I think I gravitate towards the ones that I can actually play and don't make my brain hurt. Midnight Serenade, and the amazing dare dozen. There's just so many and they're all so different. And for all you macho types that think these are sissy artsy girly games, there are some more manly shoot em up ones like v force and aim and fire.

shoulder holsters

Oh, baby! Don johnson in Miami Vice sporting the Galco miami classic holster

Thanks for taking the poll: How much education have you had? I liked reading about the variety of education and experience many of you commented about. Here are the results:

highschool or GED	4 (9%)
some college	13 (30%)
associates	7 (16%)
bachelors	20 (46%)
masters	7 (16%)
doctorate	0 (0%)
other (such as trade school)	1 (2%)

votes: 52

Now, onto the next poll! During the Off Duty Response portion of the academy, one of the instructors brought in a bunch of different holsters to show options for off duty carry. When they got to the shoulder holster he said, "Just go out and buy one now and get it out of your system. Most guys don't use them, some guys love them, but everyone buys at least one in their career. You might as well get one now and get it out of your system and them move on to find what's most effective for you to use." HF hasn't bought one yet, but he wants to. So my question is, how many of you own a shoulder holster and use it, own one and don't use it, don't own one but want one, or are not interested in one altogether?

My First Death (by HF)

Last night I was dispatched to a medical call that was occurring in an area that I happened to be patrolling in. The call came over the air as an infant that was unconscious and not breathing. The dispatcher informed me that the paramedics were en route but were several minutes out. I arrived at the home within seconds. The door was open and I could hear people screaming and crying inside. I ran in and instantly saw a little baby boy on the floor. He looked like he was asleep but his skin told me otherwise. I have spent years training and re certifying in CPR but it wasn't until last night that I ever had to use it. Everything around me became silent and I felt myself turn into a machine. Without thinking about it I knelt down by the baby and began infant CPR.

I was later told that I did CPR for about 6 minutes before the paramedics arrived and assumed patient care. The paramedics got there and instantly started to do what they do best while I backed off and watched. They transported the child to the ER and he was later pronounced dead.

When I was a dispatcher I heard recorded calls of hysterical mothers calling 911 to get help for their dying children. I had even handled several similar calls. Last night was a first though. My first time doing CPR. My first time being there when the tragedy was unfolding instead of on the phone. My first death. I remember seeing my own son in that little boy as I was performing CPR on him. I remember talking to him during chest compressions, telling him to "come back." I remember seeing the parents at the hospital and seeing the raw uncontrollable sadness in their beings. I remember sucking it all in and looking like I was keeping it all together.

Immediately following this call, I was sent to a noise disturbance. It was a report of some guy playing his guitar outside his apartment complex at 2 in the morning. Suddenly this seemed so trivial and stupid. I arrived and was still probably visibly upset. I saw the guy, jumped out of my car, and yelled, "Hey! What are you doing?"

He looked surprised and exclaimed, "uh, I'm just playing my guitar man."

I was trying hard to contain my anger. A baby just died and this guy thought he was the most important thing in the world. "I understand multiple people have asked you to stop playing and you have refused. Now it's two o'clock in the morning and you're still out here. What the hell is your problem?" I demanded.

He looked at me like he was about to start crying. "This guitar is my most prized possession and I have to sell it tomorrow. I just wanted to get as much playing in until I lose it in the morning."

I looked at him and I instantly understood. I've played the guitar for fifteen years. I knew this guy wasn't trying to be a jerk. He had a deep and unmet need that he was trying to fulfill. The only problem was that he was fulfilling it at the expense of others.

I softened my approach and I asked him to tell me more about his guitar. I expressed my appreciation for such a beautiful instrument and let him show me all its features. He stopped playing and just sat there dejected. He was a local college student. I told him that even though he had to sell his guitar now, someday he would be able to buy another one just like it. He admitted that he had known this all along but he just didn't want to admit it. I told him that he needed to let it go and move on. I told him that playing out in the bitter cold wasn't good for it anyway and he agreed. He thanked me for being so understanding and went back into his apartment for the night.

When the shift finally slowed down my sergeant came to me and, together with the other officers who had seen this kind of thing before, we had a debriefing. When I expressed to my sergeant that it was as if it were my own baby, he said, "No. It was not your baby. It was a doll. It was the CPR doll that you practice on in training. We've all been there. The first time is the hardest, but you have to remember that you were doing this on the CPR doll and you did it perfectly, and you will do this over, and over, and over again throughout your career."

I remember coming home and checking on our three kids. I had to wake the baby up to make sure he was breathing. He cried and Mrs. Fuzz woke up. Then I told her what happened. Together we stayed up much of the night, talking about it. I am grateful to have such a supportive wife. She understands me and knows how to approach me.

Last night's ordeal was not an easy one at all, but I cannot imagine how things might be for me right now if I did not have such a strong spouse in it with me. I have vowed to come home after every shift. To survive, and to win every battle, and that includes my own mental health. I thank my amazing wife for being there and listening to me last night, as I cried like a baby, when I needed her the most.

I don't know if I'll ever see that family again. I don't know if they even knew I was there. If they do see me again in passing, I doubt they'd even recognize me. I hope that they'll be okay. I can't imagine the pain they're going through right now and I admit that I feel guilty taking comfort in the fact that my kids are safe and sound. I wish them the best and I hope they stay together and can work through the grief that will inevitably follow them the rest of their lives.

for all you coupon clipping freaks (and non-freaks)

Plan on buying Disney's Snow White? It's out of the vault.

Go to www.snowwhiteoffer. com, print the $10 off coupon, go to Walmart by 10/10/09, grab the $19.98 Blu Ray-DVD Combo pack, slip the cashier the coupon and pay only $9.98! Smokin' deal!

We did it last night and it worked. But you only have until tomorrow with the coupon.

“My life cannot implement in action the demands of all the people to whom my heart responds.”
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

police finds on etsy

I went to etsy and entered in 'police' in the search bar. These were some of the ones I liked or that made me laugh. Click on the pictures to go to the seller's etsy store.

i really like this necklace except I would only want HF's number without the words and the pearls. Would you wear something like this?

I LOVE wooden toys!

These cards were created by tulaloo, a police wife, who not only has an etsy store and business, but also has a blog. In fact, right now she's having a giveaway and will be giving away 3 sets of her handmade stationary. Go read about it if you're interested.
little leather baby shoes. just like robeez!
This is also another police wife/mom that blogs and has an etsy store. She mostly does aprons. Maybe HF would wear this one while he made his infamous delgado slims, which by the way I asked him the other day if he was hungry and if he wanted one of his slim delgados. He corrected me saying it was actually called a delgado slim and that a slim delgado was something different entirely. He hasn't told me what it is. I'm not really dying to know either.

child's pillowcase

haha! There are a couple of etsy stores that make mustaches and beards. Now that's making good use of your knitting/crocheting skills!
i think my MIL would love this magnet.
little painted wooden set of cops and robbers.

an update

*tap, tap* Is this thing on?

You may have noticed that I'm not around as much as I have been in times past. Life for us has been a little nuts lately. We are trying to get more organized instead of just merely surviving.

I have loads to blog about, HF has work stories to share, so stay tuned for that! Exciting, yes. I also have lots of blogs to get caught up on reading.

HF is being sent out of state soon for training to become a R.A.D. instructor. For those of you unfamiliar with R.A.D., it stands for Rape Aggression Defense. I think this is the organization's main website. He is excited about that. He will miss our 1 year old's first birthday, but that's okay, because we are going to do what many have told us to do. Celebrate his birthday when HF gets home the next day. These little holiday/celebration switcheroos take some adjusting to. Anyway, I think R.A.D. is great. I might take a class if he's teaching it.

We had a mini planning session for October. HF has Sundays and Mondays off, but if you work graves you know that the first half of Sunday will be spent sleeping, and then staying up later than you should because you're "not tired", and then you stay up late together "partying" and then Monday is a busy day, but you're really tired because of your late night Monday, and then you are stupid and stay up late again, and then Tuesday you have to go to bed in the afternoon so that you can stay up all night come nighttime. So his 2 days off feel somewhat hectic and out of balance. We vow each week that we will go to bed early so that we can make the next day worthwhile. I told him this morning when the alarm went off again for the 4th time that we aren't wild, young, and free any more and that because we have kids this behavior needed to stop. He mentioned that next weekend he wants to play airsoft. If you've read this blog for a while, you may remember that I've mentioned once or twice an extreme distaste towards airsoft. I clenched my teeth and began clicking my pen. Then he said all upbeat, "I went ahead and took Saturday night off too, so it will be like having a 3 day weekend. I said without any hesitation, "done.", and marked it on the calendar. He said, "I knew you'd go for that."

Another wonderful adjustment to our schedule is HF stays up when he gets home until 8:30 am. He gets the kids their breakfast and gets our 6 year old to school while I get up and exercise (ideally) and sort of shuffle about and get ready for the day. HUGE lifesaver for me. Makes all the difference in the world. He now gets up around 4 pm. Which is fine by me. We have dinner together and spend some family time together and he can help get the kids to bed. This isn't always the case. Twice a week he has a night class, but he's still home in time to put kids to bed.

Next task: scheduling real life, out of the house, dating.

HF works closely with an older sergeant during his shift that he has come to respect and love. Recently, this sergeant told HF that he really likes him a lot, and that he talks about him to his wife all the time, that he reminds him of himself many years ago when he was first starting out, that he likes the way he thinks, the way he speaks, the way he writes his reports, the way he handles any given situation, and that HF was the son he never had. I thought these were wonderful compliments coming from this guy. He also mentioned that he would like to go out on double dates with us. I think that would be a lot of fun. Which brings up the dating issue again . . . and the need for babysitting . . .

Have any of you ever double dated with other officers (or superiors) and their significant others?

That's all I have for now.

need help getting out of a ticket?

Try the anti-ticket donut!

I found this at The Anti-Ticket Donut. On their homepage it says:

Out of excuses? Then try: The Anti-Ticket Donut! The Polite Way to Say, "Can we settle this here?" Keep this device in the glove box near the registration for your car.

If you are stopped by the police use such phrases as: “I can’t find my car’s registration, I only have this tasty donut”. Or say, “Instead of my driver’ license, wouldn’t you like to have this delicious donut?” The donut works best by itself, but it can be combined with other methods such as crying, whining, and begging.

if I had a nickel. . .

Whew! What a week I've had. It will be a good one to have behind me. This is a little post that I'm sure I will be able to add to for the rest of my life.

If I had a nickel for every time someone. . .

• pointed out HF to their kid and said that he would arrest them if they weren't good, and then laugh so hard like they were the first one to come up with that joke.
• calls HF (while he's sleeping off a grave, of course) to talk about guns.
• calls HF to ask if they should report their stolen bike or not (?!)
• calls HF to tell him they are interested in attending the academy and want details.
• he knows sees him off duty and they ask if he's "packin'".
• says, "I always wanted to be a cop, but I decided to do [fill in the blank] instead."
• says, "I bet you guys are so poor, huh. or "Why did you want to be a cop!? They make hardly anything!"
  
• asks HF if he's ever shot anyone.
• asks HF if he's ever been in a high speed chase.
• asks HF if he's ever been in a fight.
  
• asks HF if he gets free donuts or slurpees.
  
• asks HF if he's married (he doesn't wear his ring)
• jokingly says, "Don't tase me bro!" and laughs hysterically like they're the first to come up with that one on their own and to say it to you.
• started a sentence with, "One time this one cop. . . "
  
• fills me in with their vast knowledge and expertise on why and how cops do what they do.
• tells me a story how they did something and got away with it, like they were speeding and a cop turned around to get them and they pulled into someone's driveway until the cop drove by.
• tells HF that they pay his salary so technically he works for them.

. . . I would be rich, rich, rich!

Have you noticed that the term, "rogue cop" is so hot right now? Maybe it's the Gates/Crowley thing, but everyone loves to use that term in a sentence whenever they get the chance.

What lines do you hear seemingly all the time?