Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Cool product alert

I have had this saved to my Pinterest board for some time now. I recently showed HF to see if it was something he would like/use. He LOVED it. This was shocking to me because he is so picky and we hardly like the same things. Anyway, it is called a Valet Dock Pro. It is made by Clearwater Stag Works. There are other styles out there, but this one is our favorite. Something functional that would organize his stuff on the nightstand and it looks nice too. This would be an awesome Christmas or Father's Day gift. On their website they have a 10% discount for law enforcement or military. What do you guys use to organize your stuff?

Saturday, July 13, 2019

Police life = the poor life?

I saw this online the other day and not only did it make me laugh, but I thought, "F'reals tho!" How many times have you been driving down the road and you see an entertainment center, a sofa, anything at all with a FREE sign on it, and you really do slow down and do a double take?! I admit, I've done that more than a few times. Not only because it's a hobby to repurpose and update furniture, but because we don't have the money for all of the things! 

If one things is true it is this: Police do not get into policing for the money. I repeat: They don't do it for the money! Many police officers have side hustles, cover shifts, do overtime, special events, etc. to make ends meet. If they are married, their spouse 99.9% of the time is working as well so that they can afford to get by, especially if kids are in the picture. It's just a fact. Money is always a conversation. Always a stress. Always something that requires a lot of maneuvering. 

So why choose to be a police officer? Good question. It varies between one officer and the next. For HF, he was a little older when he decided to become a cop. Late twenties. We got married young and started our family. We finished our degrees with little kids in tow and worked at the same time. When we finished school and were making decisions about our future, law enforcement had always been one of his interests. Now that we are a decade into this profession, it's complicated. I can't speak for other LEOs and their families, but for us, we talk often about if he should keep doing what he's doing. Many things go under consideration: Money (notice I said money first), safety, physical health, mental health, climbing the ranks, office politics, city politics, and much more. 

I think in this day and age, for not just financial reasons, a lot of cops are getting out before retirement. We've seen this among our brothers and sisters here. We just don't get paid enough to be shot at, spit at, blamed, hated, etc. Sometimes it's a work related injury that forces you out. There's as many reasons as there are officers. 

What about you? Are you "poor" too? How do you make it work? 👮

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

let's talk about shifts, baby

I never thought I would be saying this, but Hallelujah for the graveyard shift! Hallelujah for any shift but the cover shift. It's been a while since there's been a shift change 'round these parts, and I must say, excuse my French, the cover shift SUCKS!

Over the years I've gotten a feel for what the various shifts have to offer and I can't think of one good thing about the cover shift. It is my least favorite. HF's cover shift is from 7p to 3a, but he rarely makes it home before 5 am.  And he sleeps in the same as he would if he were on graves, waking up around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. With graves, he will be able to be with us in the evenings. This means dinner, bedtime rituals, maybe a little bit of a social life (I know, I know. In an ideal world...).

Announcement though! Coming up soon, HF will be switching to days. 4, glorious, 10-hour dayz. That means he will work SMTW with ThFS off! I have given up long ago on making plans around his work schedule, especially since days off always include meetings, SWAT callouts, training, etc. However, this shift schedule really does seem more family friendly, wouldn't you say?

For years now we have done life without my better half, and while the kids STILL ask where he is, or if he is home, or if he is going to be there, or is he coming with us, or when's dad home, etc. etc., I think we've done alright managing things without him. But I hope he feels all warm and fuzzy that he is missed and asked for even after all these years of being used to not having him.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Poll Results: Do you see a therapist?

Do you see a therapist?

No. I don't need to 25% 
No, but I probably should 45%
Occasionally 6% 
Yes. For police related issues 2% 
Yes. For marriage counseling 7% 
Yes. For other reasons/issues 15%     
173 total votes

I put this poll up on the blog many months (years?) ago. There were only 173 participants and these are the results from their votes. I know it's only a small sampling, but I would love to see if there is a similar poll done on a larger scale. Most likely there is, since we know from many "experts" that divorce rate among LEOs is high, among other useful nuggets of information. I just haven't seen these studies and I want to. So I have to make my own for the time being. Basically, almost half of you that participated in this poll said they do not see a therapist but they probably should. 

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

I LOVE love

Guys. I kind of love this! Did you know that Miranda Lambert married a NYPD officer on Valentine's Day? You can read all about it here. Also, wanna make a bet he's not working as an officer anymore? 😀

Monday, February 18, 2019

Update: Cops Have Hobbies Too

Eight plus years ago (what?!), I wrote this post, "cops have hobbies too". It made me laugh. It's also got me thinking about what has changed over the last few years as far as HF's hobbies go. Our kids are older, we are older, our lives are somehow busier. Some things never change. Right now as I type, HF is on his "Saturday". He has Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off right now. I am sitting up in bed typing. The kids are all asleep. HF is sitting at the foot of the bed playing his guitar, writing music. and recording what he has come up with. It is the best background to my reminiscing.

Music is still one of his major loves. It is therapeutic and a creative outlet. He still loves art, but hasn't done any in I can't remember when- unless you count a number of home projects I drag him into doing for me. Yes. Let's call that art. Reading and learning has always been something he loved, but now it is a daily occurrence. He is always listening to a podcast, reading something about religion, politics, leadership, philosophy, etc. It's been interesting to me to see how what he has read and studied the last few years has shaped his mind and his beliefs.

Can therapy be a hobby? He regularly goes to therapy. SO good for him and anyone in this line of work. He's been through some tough things in the last decade. We both have.  Maybe some of those tough things will make it to the blog. Still loves his video games, movies, gear, guns, and SWAT. The kids need him more than they need me for all the emotional stuff. They always want to tell him what's on their minds, pour their hearts out to him, and play with him any chance they can get, which as you can imagine, isn't often enough. Of course, I want all his undivided attention, but he's a wanted man. He has more cop buddies now than he did in 2010, a bond that is unbreakable and needs its own version of nurturing, usually in the form of group chats, meetups,workouts, movie nights, etc.

A new hobby to add to the list since the post in 2010. BJJ. Or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It's kind of a family thing since two of our kids do it as well. BJJ is life.

If I had a wish it would be for more time. Days off seems to fly by. Paid vacation flies by when I'm not done traveling and exploring with him. Nights grow late when I'm not done soaking up more conversation and affection. He is my life. Our family is everything.

Anyway, a little has changed. Not much. I loved reading through all the comments on the above mentioned post. Wonder if any of you are still out there. What has changed in the last 8 years? To reiterate the original post, yes. Cops are people too. They have hobbies and interests just like everyone else. Sometimes they play to the stereotype, but more often than not, you'd be surprised at what happens when the uniform comes off after a shift.

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Happy Valentine's Day

A fellow police wife posted this. Made me laugh. I've seen similar ones from all over the country posted today. So funny and oh so true!

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Be Safe. I love you.

Do you have something on the inside of your door like this for your officer to see when he leaves for work? This decal was found here. I was thinking of putting something on the door since sometimes we are like 2 ships passing in the night and I don't always get to say goodbye for one reason or another.  Maybe this could be a little reminder to him how much he is loved in our house. Show me pics if you have a message on your door! 

Friday, February 8, 2019

serial killers and more

Guys. I have a problem. I binge watch anything and everything on serial killers, pedophiles, kidnappers, etc. I. Can't. Get. Enough. HF has no interest in watching these things, because you know, police officer, but I am totally immersed. And I believe most likely helpful as a potential buddy cop/detective on cases HF is working on. I have seen so many police dramas and documentaries that I believe that I could solve all the cases. And I want to talk about it. I want to tell anyone who cares about a case I saw on Netflix, or Hulu, or Amazon Prime, or wherever I end up finding them. And don't get me started on podcasts. There are so many good ones out there right now that are crime related. I will list some of my faves. What are yours? What else should I add to my list while HF is on graves? Hmm?

Podcasts: the cold podcast, Serial, cold case files, up and vanished, Crime Junkie

TV/Movies: Abducted in Plain Sight (wtf?!), Encounters with Evil, Murder Files, Conversations with a Killer, The Fall, The Missing

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Hit and Run

Last week when I was dropping my kids off at school, I pulled up to an empty spot in the load/unload area and they began to get out of the car. Another car pulled up behind me, and obviously parked a little too close to my rear bumper because when he pulled away he slowly scraped my rear bumper and side as he slowly drove away. He pulled up next to me and waved. I began to get out of the car, assuming that he was acknowledging his mistake and would pull over and get out himself. Nope. He drove off. I snapped a picture of the back of his car as he drove off but it didn't turn out.

Next, I called our local pd. An officer came out, checked out my damage and took pictures, took my statement, and told me to give them a call if I figured out who it was and in the meantime they would send out an ATL based on my description of the vehicle. I then went into the school because they have cameras mounted around the school and told them what time and where I was located and they pulled up the image of the car hitting me and driving off. 

I then see the car after school driving by and this time I got a good picture of the vehicle, the damage to their car from hitting me, the driver, and their license plate. The damage to my vehicle is somewhat minimal. There is no denting, just scrapes and scratches. The rear bumper popped out, but popped back into place when I pushed on it (I took photos of course before doing so). 

That brings us to now. HF is all about me calling the police with his license plate and getting him in trouble for a hit and run. I feel like there are other options.  1.  I confront the driver and tell him that we have video of him hitting me etc. and how would he like to pay for the damages however big or small they may be. 2.  Let the police take care of it. 3. Just do nothing and let it go. 

My personality is way non confrontational and I feel inclined to let it go because I really don't like making someone else's life more difficult. However, I did not cause the cosmetic damage to my vehicle and therefore I shouldn't have to pay for what someone else did, right? And he should take responsibility for his mistake right? 

What would y'all do?! 

Oh and just so you know, in the last 2 years, I have been t-boned and backed into twice. All of the times it being 100% their fault and they had to pay for damages. So as you can imagine I am over this. And wondering why me? Why do I have all the luck?!