Tuesday, March 19, 2019

let's talk about shifts, baby

I never thought I would be saying this, but Hallelujah for the graveyard shift! Hallelujah for any shift but the cover shift. It's been a while since there's been a shift change 'round these parts, and I must say, excuse my French, the cover shift SUCKS!

Over the years I've gotten a feel for what the various shifts have to offer and I can't think of one good thing about the cover shift. It is my least favorite. HF's cover shift is from 7p to 3a, but he rarely makes it home before 5 am.  And he sleeps in the same as he would if he were on graves, waking up around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. With graves, he will be able to be with us in the evenings. This means dinner, bedtime rituals, maybe a little bit of a social life (I know, I know. In an ideal world...).

Announcement though! Coming up soon, HF will be switching to days. 4, glorious, 10-hour dayz. That means he will work SMTW with ThFS off! I have given up long ago on making plans around his work schedule, especially since days off always include meetings, SWAT callouts, training, etc. However, this shift schedule really does seem more family friendly, wouldn't you say?

For years now we have done life without my better half, and while the kids STILL ask where he is, or if he is home, or if he is going to be there, or is he coming with us, or when's dad home, etc. etc., I think we've done alright managing things without him. But I hope he feels all warm and fuzzy that he is missed and asked for even after all these years of being used to not having him.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Poll Results: Do you see a therapist?

Do you see a therapist?

No. I don't need to 25% 
No, but I probably should 45%
Occasionally 6% 
Yes. For police related issues 2% 
Yes. For marriage counseling 7% 
Yes. For other reasons/issues 15%     
173 total votes

I put this poll up on the blog many months (years?) ago. There were only 173 participants and these are the results from their votes. I know it's only a small sampling, but I would love to see if there is a similar poll done on a larger scale. Most likely there is, since we know from many "experts" that divorce rate among LEOs is high, among other useful nuggets of information. I just haven't seen these studies and I want to. So I have to make my own for the time being. Basically, almost half of you that participated in this poll said they do not see a therapist but they probably should. 

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

I LOVE love

Guys. I kind of love this! Did you know that Miranda Lambert married a NYPD officer on Valentine's Day? You can read all about it here. Also, wanna make a bet he's not working as an officer anymore? 😀

Monday, February 18, 2019

Update: Cops Have Hobbies Too

Eight plus years ago (what?!), I wrote this post, "cops have hobbies too". It made me laugh. It's also got me thinking about what has changed over the last few years as far as HF's hobbies go. Our kids are older, we are older, our lives are somehow busier. Some things never change. Right now as I type, HF is on his "Saturday". He has Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off right now. I am sitting up in bed typing. The kids are all asleep. HF is sitting at the foot of the bed playing his guitar, writing music. and recording what he has come up with. It is the best background to my reminiscing.

Music is still one of his major loves. It is therapeutic and a creative outlet. He still loves art, but hasn't done any in I can't remember when- unless you count a number of home projects I drag him into doing for me. Yes. Let's call that art. Reading and learning has always been something he loved, but now it is a daily occurrence. He is always listening to a podcast, reading something about religion, politics, leadership, philosophy, etc. It's been interesting to me to see how what he has read and studied the last few years has shaped his mind and his beliefs.

Can therapy be a hobby? He regularly goes to therapy. SO good for him and anyone in this line of work. He's been through some tough things in the last decade. We both have.  Maybe some of those tough things will make it to the blog. Still loves his video games, movies, gear, guns, and SWAT. The kids need him more than they need me for all the emotional stuff. They always want to tell him what's on their minds, pour their hearts out to him, and play with him any chance they can get, which as you can imagine, isn't often enough. Of course, I want all his undivided attention, but he's a wanted man. He has more cop buddies now than he did in 2010, a bond that is unbreakable and needs its own version of nurturing, usually in the form of group chats, meetups,workouts, movie nights, etc.

A new hobby to add to the list since the post in 2010. BJJ. Or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It's kind of a family thing since two of our kids do it as well. BJJ is life.

If I had a wish it would be for more time. Days off seems to fly by. Paid vacation flies by when I'm not done traveling and exploring with him. Nights grow late when I'm not done soaking up more conversation and affection. He is my life. Our family is everything.

Anyway, a little has changed. Not much. I loved reading through all the comments on the above mentioned post. Wonder if any of you are still out there. What has changed in the last 8 years? To reiterate the original post, yes. Cops are people too. They have hobbies and interests just like everyone else. Sometimes they play to the stereotype, but more often than not, you'd be surprised at what happens when the uniform comes off after a shift.

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Happy Valentine's Day

A fellow police wife posted this. Made me laugh. I've seen similar ones from all over the country posted today. So funny and oh so true!

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Be Safe. I love you.

Do you have something on the inside of your door like this for your officer to see when he leaves for work? This decal was found here. I was thinking of putting something on the door since sometimes we are like 2 ships passing in the night and I don't always get to say goodbye for one reason or another.  Maybe this could be a little reminder to him how much he is loved in our house. Show me pics if you have a message on your door! 

Friday, February 8, 2019

serial killers and more

Guys. I have a problem. I binge watch anything and everything on serial killers, pedophiles, kidnappers, etc. I. Can't. Get. Enough. HF has no interest in watching these things, because you know, police officer, but I am totally immersed. And I believe most likely helpful as a potential buddy cop/detective on cases HF is working on. I have seen so many police dramas and documentaries that I believe that I could solve all the cases. And I want to talk about it. I want to tell anyone who cares about a case I saw on Netflix, or Hulu, or Amazon Prime, or wherever I end up finding them. And don't get me started on podcasts. There are so many good ones out there right now that are crime related. I will list some of my faves. What are yours? What else should I add to my list while HF is on graves? Hmm?

Podcasts: the cold podcast, Serial, cold case files, up and vanished, Crime Junkie

TV/Movies: Abducted in Plain Sight (wtf?!), Encounters with Evil, Murder Files, Conversations with a Killer, The Fall, The Missing

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Hit and Run

Last week when I was dropping my kids off at school, I pulled up to an empty spot in the load/unload area and they began to get out of the car. Another car pulled up behind me, and obviously parked a little too close to my rear bumper because when he pulled away he slowly scraped my rear bumper and side as he slowly drove away. He pulled up next to me and waved. I began to get out of the car, assuming that he was acknowledging his mistake and would pull over and get out himself. Nope. He drove off. I snapped a picture of the back of his car as he drove off but it didn't turn out.

Next, I called our local pd. An officer came out, checked out my damage and took pictures, took my statement, and told me to give them a call if I figured out who it was and in the meantime they would send out an ATL based on my description of the vehicle. I then went into the school because they have cameras mounted around the school and told them what time and where I was located and they pulled up the image of the car hitting me and driving off. 

I then see the car after school driving by and this time I got a good picture of the vehicle, the damage to their car from hitting me, the driver, and their license plate. The damage to my vehicle is somewhat minimal. There is no denting, just scrapes and scratches. The rear bumper popped out, but popped back into place when I pushed on it (I took photos of course before doing so). 

That brings us to now. HF is all about me calling the police with his license plate and getting him in trouble for a hit and run. I feel like there are other options.  1.  I confront the driver and tell him that we have video of him hitting me etc. and how would he like to pay for the damages however big or small they may be. 2.  Let the police take care of it. 3. Just do nothing and let it go. 

My personality is way non confrontational and I feel inclined to let it go because I really don't like making someone else's life more difficult. However, I did not cause the cosmetic damage to my vehicle and therefore I shouldn't have to pay for what someone else did, right? And he should take responsibility for his mistake right? 

What would y'all do?! 

Oh and just so you know, in the last 2 years, I have been t-boned and backed into twice. All of the times it being 100% their fault and they had to pay for damages. So as you can imagine I am over this. And wondering why me? Why do I have all the luck?!

Tuesday, January 29, 2019


2019, we haven't been off to a good start. In the first month of the new year there have been 9 LEO deaths, 2 K-9 deaths, and multiple officer injuries nationwide. I had the honor of attending one of these funerals recently. I wore the above ribbon. I was able to sit with my husband as he mourned the loss of one of his brothers. 

If you've been to a police funeral you know how awe-inspiring and gut wrenching it is. It is amazing to be a part of this brother and sisterhood in blue. To see the love, unity, and respect between multiple agencies, to see how the community has lifted and supported our LEOs, the support being offered grieving family members is a lesson in compassion. I felt proud to belong to this unique group. I felt honored to participate with other LEO spouses as we took care of department and family needs. I will never forget the bagpipes, the sea of uniforms lining the path to the hearse, the endless red and blue lights as they made their way to the cemetery, the gun salute, the last call. It was truly a beautiful and heart breaking experience. 

It pains me to see my husband grieving. It pains me to see family members of the fallen in despair. It is easy to focus on the dark side. It is easy to be angry and bewildered. We can talk until we are blue in the face about what's wrong with the world. That is all part of it. But I choose to think of the displays of love I saw not just between law enforcement, but the community at large. That fills me with hope to see the majority, even though it seems like a minority, root for the thin blue line. 

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Bottle Breacher

If your husband is anything like mine, he has a fairly extensive collection of police-related items. I feel like in every drawer, storage container, etc. that I am finding patches, coins, assorted gear, and it's not just law enforcement related. Help! HF is a hoarder of  "cool" things! Well. Some of the items are, indeed, cool. Recently, he was given this Bottle Breacher. The significance is that he is a breacher on the SWAT team. One of his brothers gave it to him and on the side not shown it has his name and team information engraved on it. This was a very cool and sentimental gift that he treasures and will go on the shelf with all of his other police mementos. I'm not sure if he will actually ever use it. What do you think? Do you like this Bottle Breacher? Bottle Breachers can be found here. If you haven't already heard about Bottle Breacher, check out their story here.