we went on a date

image found here

That's right. We actually went on a date! Let me explain why this is such a miracle.

1. We have kids. They prevent us from spending time together alone.
   
2. We have ZERO family members where we live to lend a helping hand.
   
3. Sometimes we make babysitting arrangements with friends and they cancel on us because they are either busy with families and children of their own, or they are single and have better things to do.
4. There is one teenager in the neighborhood that I trust and she goes to her dad's every other week.
   
5. HF's schedule. 'Nuff said.

My childhood friend who actually lives in the same city as me, volunteers once in a while to take the kids, sometimes for a weekend. She is single and busy professionally and socially, so it's a rare occurrence, but we snatch it up when she offers because she is one of those people that knows exactly what to do with kids and we don't worry one bit when she has them. I feel fortunate to have her in my life and that my kids think of her as one of their aunties. She is the reason we had this date.

I know that dating isn't just a problem for police families/couples. But in the last few weeks I have felt like everything comes back to HF's job. We make plans, and he has to go in to work. We make plans again and he forgot that he was signed up to do some overtime work and no one can cover. We make plans, but because his days off fall on a Sunday and Monday, those days are just too awkward for someone to babysit, especially a teenager who has school the next day. This teenager I mentioned by the way charges $1 per kid per hour. That's kind of an unbelievable deal if you can get her.

We have some friends with kids that we trade babysitting with once in a while. The idea is to do it once a week. We would go out every Monday night on a date and they could go out another day of the week and we will babysit. Sometimes it works out, but mostly it seems like there is a lot of canceling because of things that come up in both our lives. I finally told HF that I think that the devil doesn't want us to go on dates. We try to have dates at home, but sometimes a girl's just gotta go out with her man. And if you have kids, you spend a lot of time in your house without other adults, so staying in is sometimes the last option you have in mind.

Dating has really been on my mind a lot lately. The year that HF spent in the academy and was working full time, I was also pregnant and was caring for 2 other children. I never saw HF except in passing and when he had a day off he spent it sleeping. Of course, I've never been able to leave a baby with someone else very easily. It seems like it takes me until they are 2 or 3 to be comfortable leaving them for a few hours. So if we did go out, I was anxious the whole time being away from our baby. One night I went to applebees to get a late dinner for HF and myself. It was packed! It was karaoke night. I remembered that I loved karaoke and late nights out together. Then I remembered that it had been too long since we had really gone out and dated other than the occasional movie. I love watching movies, but that was quickly becoming the last thing I wanted to do when we had a chance to go out. I remember being filled with so much sadness and self pity at that moment. I wanted to be at one of those tables with friends enjoying the karaoke. I wanted to be one of those couples that had family living near by so we could help each other out with our kids. Why was this so difficult?

We have both made it a goal to go on a weekly date. I know that some of these dates will have to be at home before he goes to work or on one of his days off. I would like HF to be in charge of 2 of the 4 dates. Our challenges: Getting creative at thinking of dates at home and BABYSITTING. I would like to get some of your ideas on how you date your significant other whether at home or out. I'm curious what HF will come up with. I'll probably have to remind him when it's his turn to be in charge. And I'm serious when I say that for the last 8 years whenever I tell HF that I want to go do something fun, he asks me if I 1. want to go bowling and 2. if I want to go ice skating. Without fail! In fact he asked me if I wanted to do one of those 2 things today. I asked him if I agreed to go bowling if he would stop asking me if I want to go bowling. I suspect we will end up having to do a lot more dating at home than going out because of our current situation. I seriously can't wait until our daughter is old enough to babysit. 5 more years? What do you guys do for dating and babysitting if you need it?