Sunday, April 5, 2009

for all you CJ lovers out there

For those of you that might be new readers, there is a girl at the academy with HF that I refer to as Calamity Jane (CJ). She's always up to no good. This is her latest update.

HF recently had a courtroom procedures class where he and his class went to a court house and watched and participated in some courtroom scenarios. The instructor selected two cadets to be put upon the stand and be cross examined by a defense attorney. Each cadet had to write “reports” of their actions in other scenarios throughout the academy and low and behold CJ was one of the cadets selected to take the stand. Here’s how it went down:

Prosecutor: How long have you been a police officer?

CJ: 6 months

Prosecutor: Let me back up a second, prior to becoming a police officer did you have to go through any kind of training?

CJ: Yes, I attended the police academy.

Prosecutor: Okay, and when you graduated did you get any kind of certificate or documentation stating that you were qualified to work as a police officer?

CJ: Yes.

Prosecutor: Okay, then after that did you go through any more additional training?

CJ: Yes I went through an FTO program.

Prosecutor: Okay, and did you get any kind of certification saying that you had completed that?

CJ: Uh, I don’t know, I’m just making this up as I go along.

Prosecutor: Uh, okay, don’t worry about it, just say yes.

CJ: Okay

Prosecutor: Now can you describe to me your responsibilities as a police officer?

CJ: Okay, well I go out and serve and protect the liberty of the people.

Prosecutor: Uh, okay. Do you investigate crimes?

CJ: No.

Prosecutor: huh, maybe my question confused you. Let me rephrase it, uh… as a police officer, do you investigate crimes?

CJ: No.

Prosecutor: Are you sure?

CJ: Oh yes. I don’t investigate crimes at all.

Prosecutor: Okay… what exactly do you do as a police officer then?

CJ: (looking up at the ceiling and biting her lip) I uh, respond to calls from dispatch and protect the freedom of the people.

Prosecutor: Okay….

She was being questioned regarding a report she had made about a domestic dispute that she had “investigated,” during scenario training.

To her credit she was the first to go so she had no real idea of what to expect but everyone was pretty surprised when she stated that cops don’t investigate crimes. It’s been almost a year now.


Slamdunk said...

That shows your kindness to include the bit about "to her credit." As much as we hated it, it was good to be grilled in practice like that--it made the real thing a little easier.

Dori said...

*sigh* She is precious, isn't she?

Jason said...

She walked right into that one!

Natalie said...

Yeah, I guess officers don't investigate crimes because everyone's a law-abiding citizen...wait.

kd said...

thank you, that was hilarious!!!