This could be the last time I see him. What do I say? Do we do what they do in the movies where they clasp hands sobbing and pledge to love one another forever and that even if one of has to die, we will go on loving each other and will watch from up above, and then I cut a lock of my hair and soak it with tears and kisses before placing it in his hand? Do I fall to his feet sobbing and apologize for how mad I was at him earlier for not caring about the food and decorations at his party on Friday?Instead I just said, "Have fun!". But on a more serious note, I was contemplative for a while after he left thinking about not so much what I say specifically when he walks out the door every night for work, but more what I'm doing each day so that if he doesn't walk back through that door in the morning I don't have regrets. I don't want to be Deb the Downer, I just want to have a plan for the what ifs. It kind of feels surreal right now. I've been expecting this, I've been waiting a long time for him to start working as an officer, and now that it is here, and he is leaving the house in a bullet proof vest, I just found myself a little stunned tonight. What do you say? How do you NOT think about the worst case scenario? So this is a first for me.
I know I need to read a few police books. They are on my list. But right now I'm still trudging my way through HF's On Combat. It's a really good book, it's just taking me forever.
So here's the question: What do YOU say when you say "goodbye" when you or your loved one is heading to work? Is it "see ya later"? Or are you more of the dramatic type like in my racing thoughts mentioned above.