Tonight I had the mail key in my pocket, and HF was looking for it. He approached me and said,
HF: Do you know where the mail key is?"
Me: (In my most dramatic and confrontational voice I could muster up) I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SEARCH ME.
HF: Okay, step over here please.
Me: Really? okay.
HF: Spread your legs out.
A little further please.
Me: Like this?
HF: Yeah, that's perfect. Okay, now put your hands behind your head and intertwine your fingers. Yes, just like that.
It was over in about 3 seconds and it wasn't fun or romantic in any way. He pulled my hands back a little while they were behind my head and made me lose balance. Then in a very mechanical and professional manner conducted his search. When he got to the key he asked if I had any weapons or drugs, and then he pulled out my key. I said I was a little disappointed and that I thought it would be a little different because I was his wife, but he treated me just like anyone else.
He went to get the mail.
We got a check for $300 from a family member! We already know where that's going.
Tomorrow's itinerary: My brother, a cop in CA, and his wife get here.