Wednesday, August 12, 2009

becoming a police wife has changed my life

I've been a police wife for 3 months now. Today I was thinking how my life has changed so far. Here's what I came up with off the top of my head:
  • Instead of Skateboarding magazines and novels in the bathroom there are clothing and supply catalogs (Galls, anyone?) and a big ol' law book.
  • When I need to wake up HF, I usually peer from behind the door and softly call out his name. If that doesn't work I might call his cell or stand at the end of the bed and gently touch his knee or some body part that I feel might not make him ready to violently attack. I learned this the hard way. A simple spooning and a soft whisper of, "Hey baby" ended in a fight for my life.
  • It's now normal to answer my phone and hear, "Hi Mrs. Fuzz", then loud radio traffic, then "gotta go".
  • Occasional out of character grouchiness. Is this normal? I'm guessing stress related.
  • Instead of searching for keys when he's on his way to work, I help search for bullets, his work cell, and/or a handcuff key. (I found one on the upper shelf of our bedroom closet today).
  • I'm learning that code talk isn't just used to sound cool or manly. It actually means something!
  • Even though it's me trying to be funny, it's way too fun and hilarious using cop talk as pick up lines on HF. He doesn't always play along though. For example, I will say, "Spread 'em!" And he will say, "We don't even say that anymore" and he'll try and explain why until I roll my eyes and tell him to just play along. He does.
  • I can't just hug him normally or put my hands on his hips. There's a gun in the way.
  • He has to park in a stall facing out and he does a LOT more looking around our surroundings.
  • He updates me with the status of his gun when he takes it off to put it away. I still have no idea what he is talking about, probably because I'm half asleep when he's telling me.
  • Just like with boy time, there is also a police time calculator. It isn't as accurate as the boy time calculator, but I know that if his shift is from 10 pm to 6 am, that means it is really from 9 pm to 7 am at the least.
  • The guy can sleep! He can sleep from the time he gets home in the morning until it's time to go to work again that night. That is, if I let him. The latest I have let him sleep in has been until 5 pm or 6. But that's if he's had an especially rigorous schedule or event the previous night or week. But by then it's too late, 'cause by 5 or 6, I'm already like this:
crazy Jack Nicholson in the Shining


Mandy said...

So true! I'm also a fan of the stray bullets around the house...adds a special decorative touch! haha

Slamdunk said...

I agree--getting ready for that work required organziation. There are just too many little things to keep up with.

911 and the Randomness.. said...

Yep, that sounds right. I always have to hunt for stray belt keepers too. And just wait till the gun has a name...
"Babe, Little Rosco is going back in the safe, I have Rosco with me for work."
Yes, there will be the off duty and on duty weapon and you will be told where they both are... Does he have a fasination with LED lights yet?

Stephanie said...

The gun and the vest do make it hard to hug! And I sometimes I feel like I am talking to a radio dispatcher on the phone because that is all I can hear!

Erin said...

Mine is constantly telling me which cars have expired tags when we're driving around town (when he's off duty). Sigh.

But! The uniform does come in handy on occasion. I mean, um, what?

LoudBrownProud said...

I really enjoy reading your blog,I love your sense of humor it balances out the stuff we really don't want to know about(pertaining to their jobs)but need to know!thanks

Sandra G. said...

Too funny.

I should get my hubby to read your blog as he's the one married to an officer.

Mind you, here in Canada, most of us don't wear our uniforms home and we have different gun laws, so hugging usually isn't an issue. ;)

This is my first stop here - I've enjoyed your writing style and I'll be back.

Cheers from north of the border!

Dori said...

Oh yeah...the sleeping all day...if he hadn't stirred by 5 or 5:30 I sent up the toddler! No one can sleep through that! And the running down the hall yelling "Daddy! Daddy!"and slamming open the bedroom door insured a lack of injury to the Waker from the Wakee. :D

Anonymous said...

I love this list. I am totally stealing the idea of this list and making my own. With credit, of course. :-)

Paula said...

The longer he is a cop the better all of this will become...although I do believe there is a cop personality and they all share some same traits...My son no longer sleeps all the fact he finds it hard to sleep at all. All the hugging with a gun a bullet proof vest just reminds me to keep him at the top of my prayer list everyday....good post

Tara said...

all fun stuff I have to look forward too i am sure...except the gun, theirs stays at work and bullets are like meticulously accounted for, like ever one logged because gun laws are very tight here. some of those things i already have noticed. like academy is supposed to be 8-4. d has to be there 15 mins early to get dressed, and to class 15 early, and 15 extra because he is squad leader and last week he was only flag raising duty which was another 15. so he was starting at lik 6:45/7am. they frequently have laps or class runs over or punishment for someones silly question or somethin so he rarely finishes before 430, sometims 5. mybe its to prepare all the future spouses for this extra time when he starts on the job!

Momma Val said...

Big time on the wake up danger. I just call "Honey, time to wake up!" from downstairs now. Trying to roll over while pregnant in bed has nearly gotten me attacked. I didn't read you mentioning anything about your husband bonding more tightly with fellow officers than with you weighing very heavily on your marriage or co-workers calling you while you are on vacation. You are VERY lucky.

OY on the extreme grouchiness! and OY again! Gotta call em on it or they start to act like that all the time :(

mrs. fuzz said...

911- I sure hope he doesn't name his gun, and his fascination with LED lights began long before the academy even. It might have something to do with airsofting. . .

Loudbrownproud- thanks!

Sandra- Hi! Your blog is one of my favorite reads.

Dori- haha. I'm glad I'm not the only one with the sleeping issue. :)

Copswife- can't wait to see your list.

Paula- thanks, except I'm not so sure about the sleep thing . . . that will probably never change. :)

Tara-he has to keep track of duty bullets as well, and we still haven't found the one that's missing. i have faith that it will show up though. :)Also, I often thought the same thing regarding the schedule while HF was in the academy. This is just preparing me for his job. I guess in some ways it does.

MamaVal- Hey, it's only been 3 months! i'm sure I'll be adding the coworkers calling during vacation and other detrimental things in no time! :)

Lisa E said...

The "fight for my life" bit made me laugh! I've just about died trying to snuggle myself. In fact, I can relate to all these! Thanks for the giggle...and welcome to Cop Wife Life! :-)

OrdinaryLife said...

What I love is the week following defensive tactics training when he wants to practice everything on me....and this isn't "fun" HURTS!!
And, yes, I've been swung at when he comes out of a dead sleep. I learned that lesson quick.
The random bad moods are the worst. I usually know what's going on (since I work there too), but it's still not easy to deal with!
Thanks for the humor...I always get a laugh out of reading your blog!

Anonymous said...

Aww, this makes me smile!
Welcome to the Insanity, girl. Hubs fiercely faces the door when we go anywhere now, but it's the little things you've listed that make him who he is. You have a lot to look forward to. :)

Natalie said...

I can pretty much agree to it all, and am admitting to being a copycat after reading copswife post on this as well as yours, so I decided to make a list of my own (though most of it is rather redundant)

Isn't it nice that we can all relate to each other?! Even when it's tough, it's nice to know I'm not alone.

selzach said...

Great post! It's all so true. We have one or two copies of Gall's in the potty as well as a couple of cop/gun magazines.

Yes, code talk is handy when you don't want the kids to know about a homicide or if Hubby is packing.

Rhonda Y said...

Thanks for sharing your newly-wed lessons! I am currently dating a police officer, almost a year now.. and, the shift work is taking it's toll on me. (Noticed I said ME!) So.. am looking at other's experiences with the hopes of enlightening myself and recalibrating my expectations. Thanks, again!