if I had a nickel. . .

Whew! What a week I've had. It will be a good one to have behind me. This is a little post that I'm sure I will be able to add to for the rest of my life.

If I had a nickel for every time someone. . .

• pointed out HF to their kid and said that he would arrest them if they weren't good, and then laugh so hard like they were the first one to come up with that joke.
• calls HF (while he's sleeping off a grave, of course) to talk about guns.
• calls HF to ask if they should report their stolen bike or not (?!)
• calls HF to tell him they are interested in attending the academy and want details.
• he knows sees him off duty and they ask if he's "packin'".
• says, "I always wanted to be a cop, but I decided to do [fill in the blank] instead."
• says, "I bet you guys are so poor, huh. or "Why did you want to be a cop!? They make hardly anything!"
  
• asks HF if he's ever shot anyone.
• asks HF if he's ever been in a high speed chase.
• asks HF if he's ever been in a fight.
  
• asks HF if he gets free donuts or slurpees.
  
• asks HF if he's married (he doesn't wear his ring)
• jokingly says, "Don't tase me bro!" and laughs hysterically like they're the first to come up with that one on their own and to say it to you.
• started a sentence with, "One time this one cop. . . "
  
• fills me in with their vast knowledge and expertise on why and how cops do what they do.
• tells me a story how they did something and got away with it, like they were speeding and a cop turned around to get them and they pulled into someone's driveway until the cop drove by.
• tells HF that they pay his salary so technically he works for them.

. . . I would be rich, rich, rich!

Have you noticed that the term, "rogue cop" is so hot right now? Maybe it's the Gates/Crowley thing, but everyone loves to use that term in a sentence whenever they get the chance.

What lines do you hear seemingly all the time?