Sunday, October 4, 2009

if I had a nickel. . .

Whew! What a week I've had. It will be a good one to have behind me. This is a little post that I'm sure I will be able to add to for the rest of my life.

If I had a nickel for every time someone. . .
  • pointed out HF to their kid and said that he would arrest them if they weren't good, and then laugh so hard like they were the first one to come up with that joke.
  • calls HF (while he's sleeping off a grave, of course) to talk about guns.
  • calls HF to ask if they should report their stolen bike or not (?!)
  • calls HF to tell him they are interested in attending the academy and want details.
  • he knows sees him off duty and they ask if he's "packin'".
  • says, "I always wanted to be a cop, but I decided to do [fill in the blank] instead."
  • says, "I bet you guys are so poor, huh. or "Why did you want to be a cop!? They make hardly anything!"
  • asks HF if he's ever shot anyone.
  • asks HF if he's ever been in a high speed chase.
  • asks HF if he's ever been in a fight.
  • asks HF if he gets free donuts or slurpees.
  • asks HF if he's married (he doesn't wear his ring)
  • jokingly says, "Don't tase me bro!" and laughs hysterically like they're the first to come up with that one on their own and to say it to you.
  • started a sentence with, "One time this one cop. . . "
  • fills me in with their vast knowledge and expertise on why and how cops do what they do.
  • tells me a story how they did something and got away with it, like they were speeding and a cop turned around to get them and they pulled into someone's driveway until the cop drove by.
  • tells HF that they pay his salary so technically he works for them.
. . . I would be rich, rich, rich!

Have you noticed that the term, "rogue cop" is so hot right now? Maybe it's the Gates/Crowley thing, but everyone loves to use that term in a sentence whenever they get the chance.

What lines do you hear seemingly all the time?


The Happy Medic said...

Surprisingly, I get some of the same lines. I grab my hips and say, " gun. And I got out of that Ambulance there. And my patch says PARAMEDIC...Gee lady, no I've never shot anyone."

They see a uniform and assume their fears.

If I hear "I'm sorry to bother you" or "You guys must see a lot of nasty stuff" once more I'm going to barf on them.
Word Verification:
I Gots the asthma

Raindog said...

Great Post!

Natalie said...

I love this list! We can relate to a lot of them, but I asked the hubs if he had any others:

"So I heard that in order to carry your taser you have to be shot with it. Does that mean you have to get shot with your gun, too?"

Acquaintances ask him, "If you pull me over, you'd let me go, right?" like they were BFFs.

Minors crimes are brought up by friends a few weeks later but still asked by him, "What should I do about it?"

Slamdunk said...

It is no wonder that many police officers want to live in a house with lots of acres that is far away from neighbors.

copswife said...

GREAT list. Hubs gets very tired of that stuff too. But he feels like he needs to play around for niceness sake. People need to get new material.

Meadowlark said...

Nothing intelligent to add, except Husband doesn't wear a ring either and around here we get the opposite reaction: HE MAKES HOW MUCH@!!!!!! and then they get all pissy and I'm thinking "Hey fricknuts, if you had what it takes to do his job, you'd deserve that much too". GRRRRRRRRRRR.

Dori said...

Oddly enough, we get none of that. Maybe in the beginning with family--I guess, don't really remember. Except the "you'd let me off, right" from distant family members. The ones who *need* to go to jail. And, no, he wouldn't let them off.

Guess we don't get out much. Or we've made ourselves very unapproachable. Either way, I'm okay with that. :D

LOUDnPROUD said...

those are some good ones.
my Dh's are:
Can you sign off my ticket?
Can I have your business card so I can carry it with me in case I get pulled over,again?
Do you use your handcuffs on your wife(haha)?
Has anyone flashed their boobs at you?
If we are at a party and he drinks alcohol, they say oh he's a cop he can drink and drive!

TM said...

Chancho's most hated question is when there are a group of people and they ask him if he can take one of them into custody. Everyone always gets a great laugh out of it, he on the other hand just wants to tell them off. His most hated phrase is the "I pay taxes therefore I'm your boss". The people he arrests don't pay taxes and use benefit cards. Plus he pays taxes too!

Never gets old to them though.

LOUDnPROUD said...

MrsFuzz I posted the mac & cheese recipe on my blog. f.y.i