Monday, December 6, 2010

a list

-I think I experienced one of those Mondays I've always heard people mention. Unbelievable. It was one of those "put the milk in the cupboard and the cereal in the fridge" mornings. When I got back from taking my daughter to school, I came home to find the door wide open and HF asleep upstairs in our bedroom. I didn't shut the door when I left with the kids. My purse, our laptop, our flat screen, you know, all the important things in life, were left up for grabs for the riff raff that frequent our neighborhood. Thankfully nothing happened as far as I can tell, but to be honest I was more worried about stray cats and mice entering our home than a burglar attacking HF in his sleep. I was gone for 30 minutes.

-I have left the keys in the front door numerous times. The worst is when it is overnight and HF comes home to his sleeping wife and children and keys in the front door. He is never happy about that. This describes a typical night in our neighborhood: One night one of my neighbors was over hanging out and as I went to open the front door to see her out, a group of guys ran past our front door yelling, "!@$# You!" to who knows who. We were scared to death and she didn't venture home across the street for at least another hour.

-After washing my face, I used mouthwash on my face instead of my regular toner, which also happens to be blue. Let's just say my face was extra clean and rejuvinated.

-Our 2 year old went upstairs to our bedroom and picked up one of HF's two wallets and tried to shove it in the back of his diaper, just like daddy does (not in his diaper, but his pants. . . ) and became very frustrated that he couldn't get it to stick. It was one of those hilarious moments that maybe only the parents think are funny. Business idea: Diapers with back pockets?

-I've mentioned HF using more "coarse" language since entering the academy and becoming an officer. His latest? "Dumb Cuss". Let me use that in a sentence. After HF told me a work story, I asked, "Why did he do that?" HF said, "Because he's a dumb cuss that's why." I stopped him there and said, "Dumb Cuss? I've never heard anyone in my life say that before. Where did you pick that term up from? One of your work buddies?" Please tell me in the comments if any of you have used or regularly use that expression, or if you know where the expression comes from.

-CJ UPDATE!!! Sometimes you gotta praise Facebook and the things you can find out. CJ is currently claiming to be a reserve detective for HF's department (whatever that is. Don't think one can actually be a reserve detective). Wait. There's more. She is applying to the FBI to become a special agent. And that is a fact. I will keep you updated on anything else I find out.

-Once I mentioned to Happy Medic that if girls that chase Cops are called Badge Bunnies, then what do firemen call their "followers". He responded, "Kids". I still laugh about this.

-Another new pw blogger! Cathi at My Pinktastic Life.

-Our 2 year old has taken up headbanging as a hobby. He bangs his head in his crib at night, and now there is a dent on the wall above our bed where he banged his head. It actually put a dent in the wall! Either our wall is poorly built, or he has a really hard head. The most recent head banging damage is on a tile underneath one of our windows. It cracked the tile in half. The doctor said head banging is "mostly normal". Great. Take a look for yourself at the damage (I couldn't get a good picture of the dent in our bedroom, but this is the windowsill tile): He did this with his head!
-HF is currently "bulking up" for SWAT tryouts. He is taking special vitamins and supplements and eating lots of chicken, tuna, and veggies. He is also changing up his workouts for maximum results. I'm excited to see his transformation! Tryouts are in a month or so.

-We are getting the house ready for Mama Mia's visit (My Italian mother-in-law). She will be here for Christmas and New Years. We have lots planned for her entertainment. This is the first year in our entire marriage that HF has had Christmas Eve through New Year's Day off! He's one lucky cuss. No. We are all lucky cusses.


Lt said...

More negative terms I never heard before becoming a cop: scallywags, mopes, ass-hats.

Some advice for HF: as a former team leader for a time, physical stamina was just as, if not more, important as physical strength. Circuit training with weights is always preferable to traditional weight training, unless attempting to meet a specific requirement, such as "bench press 95% of body weight". Those performance-specific goals aside, circuit training is more applicable to special operations than pure body building. But he may already be aware. Best of luck to him. He'll never have more fun.

Ann T. said...

Dear Mrs. Fuzz,
OMG if I had a nickel for all my days like that. Good you didn't get that Scope in your eyes though!

LT, scallywags are those Northern carpetbagger/extortionists that came South after the Civil War. As for mopes and ass-hats, I am right there with you. The dumb cuss I alluz heard as stupid cuss, cussed (2 syllables) varmint, and that was down in Texas. However. I like dumb cuss better.

Dear Mrs. Fuzz, I would be in hysterics over the head-banging. Perhaps your calmness will make it end sooner.

Have a better day tomorrow!
Ann T.

Yellow said...

Dumb cuss sounds like something T-rex would say. . .Not sure if he has, I have started this thing where I tune him out when he talks about dumb people :)

What a monday! Sounds a lot like mine. . .lets just say T-rex needs a new tooth brush . .again!

Dori said...

Ah...the handbanging. Our now 5-year-old broke a window pane with his head when he was 2...and came off without so much as a scratch. I? I was hysterical.

We get "ass hat" a lot. But in our continued effort to *not* pass on our potty mouths to our children we tend to get very creative in our cussing. Sean came out with something about cross dressing nuns the other was hilarious.

Jenney said...

Never heard that saying...but "stupid F*ing dirtbag" is pretty common. At home around the kids it is cleaned up to "dirtbag". Lovely. I still don't want my 4 year old saying it.

If the headbanging continues, you may want to check it out further. It was one of the signs that our son had a sensory processing disorder. Banging ones' head on the couch at 2...normal. Breaking tile? Not so sure.

Love your blog, thanks for the post. It is so nice to know we aren't the only ones.

Natalie said...

I had no clue that I would still be getting updates on CJ. Reserve detective? FBI?! What a dumb cuss.

And rock on that you get Christmas all together! We haven't been able to for 4 years now.

Anonymous said...

My nephew used to bang his head on the crib and walls. He was diagnosed on the autism spectrum, you might want to keep an eye on that.