thoughts

I was only in bed for two days and this is what I found when I came downstairs:

• Pink Silly String sprayed all over the kitchen and merely swept to one side of the room. Really? Silly String in the house?! I told them not to do it. Ever.
• Food left out all over the table and counter tops. Food that could've been saved and stored in the fridge as leftovers.
• crumbs all over the kitchen floor and a trail leaving the kitchen and all over the living room.
• Dirty dishes piled up to the ceiling (slight exaggeration)
• party decorations still left out everywhere
• toy room explosion. Debris found all over the house
• Laundry piled to ceiling (another slight exaggeration)
• Dirty diapers everywhere!

Maybe it's good that I was the only one home when I discovered all this because instead of wringing any necks I just got busy and started cleaning. Luckily, whenever I get the cold or flu or whatever illness the fates deal my way, it always seems to fall on HF's days off. Not fun for any of us, but nice that he can take care of things, or if not "care" for things, use his strong suit. Which is to entertain. The kids always seem to have new toys and when I woke up in between hacking up a lung (or two), I saw 3 new movies on my bedside table with the portable dvd player for my enjoyment. Sounds like the kind of guy you would want taking care of you when your jailer mom is sick, doesn't it?

I'm trying not to sweat the small stuff. I'm trying to look for the little things to be grateful for. I'm trying to notice the little things people say or do that make me love them the way I do. I'm trying to think about me less. In the wake of such a horrible week last week for law enforcement, and for problems within our own city's police department (which I'll post about later), and with global concerns, I feel helpless and unable to make a difference on any scale whether it be locally or globally. When I feel this way, which has been much more often since HF began a career in Law enforcement, I withdraw. I become quiet as I try to make sense of the pain and suffering felt by all throughout this world. After a while, I try to look for the good wherever it might be.

I've been MIA lately. To make a long story short: Birthdays.

• this blog turned 2 years old on the 21st of January.
• my son had his 5th birthday on the 26th. We celebrated it through the span of a week. It was superhero themed. I will never have a big children's party again.
• i turned 31 on January 28th. HF made it a wonderful day. We had a great morning together and then he had to work. I already knew that. I figured we would celebrate another day. He called me while he was on patrol. He told me to be ready to go out at 7:30 that night. He got the last 3 hours of work covered and had arranged a babysitter and everything. He came home and took me out to a restaurant that I'd been wanting to go to for months! It's a place that only serves seasonal food from local farms and companies. It was seriously some of the best food we'd ever had. We had steak, fish, gnocchi with lemon and thyme, sauteed swiss chard, mashed potatoes, and for dessert we had chocolate bread pudding and apple crisp. It was fantastic. He gave me some grapefruit spoons that I've had on my list for a very long time but kept forgetting to pick up. I used them the next day. I'm telling you. if you use a grapefruit spoon to eat a grapefruit you will want to eat grapefruit everyday. It makes that much of a difference. So then we came home and watched a movie and made preparations for our son's birthday party the next day.
• Now I am sick. It's the cold that will not go away! It had me knocked down for a couple of days, but although I am up and around, I feel miserable. So far HF is the only one not affected by it yet. Only time will tell. I texted him that I was preparing my funeral arrangements and wanted to know if he would rather speak or do a musical number. He texted back, "no music solo". I thought that was very inconsiderate of him. But he has been pretty nice considering the thrashing about I've been doing at night and he doesn't hesitate when I ask him to brush my hair.

So. Thank you for all the very kind emails and comments. I am not ignoring anyone. I have lots to talk about and I will get started on that shortly. I will also actually respond to my email!

In the meantime, I am still finding Silly String in the kitchen.

Bonus picture:

These are the cupcakes I made for the 5 year old's superhero party. Yes, I just slopped the frosting on there. The background is a city scape that HF made from 2 black display boards. It turned out awesome.