grenades n things

I found out that my license is expired. Like really, really expired. I found out when doing some banking. They asked me if I had another form of ID because my license was expired. I looked at the date. It expired January 2010. Whoah. I thought that the DMV sent you a friendly reminder in the mail or something. I didn't realize it was my responsibility to check the expiration on my license, so I had no way of really knowing. Guess what? I still haven't renewed it. HF got a babysitter and took me on a "date". His idea of a romantic date was to drive me to the DMV so I could take care of my biznizz. Well since it's been so long, I have to take a written AND a driving test! I still haven't taken care of it. If you've read this blog from the beginning, you know how much that would make HF crazy. Mr. Rule Keeper and Follwer. And here is his wife-breaking the law. He is always quick to remind me of the consequences of driving without a license-among other offenses I am not guilty of.

I mentioned in my to do list that I needed to freak out at HF for leaving his SWAT stuff in my car. Check. I did it. Last week when HF had swat training, he couldn't take his usual police car as it was getting work done, so he took our van. The next day I was cleaning up the usual car mess left by the monsters children and I came across a thick cardboard cylinder thingie. I wasn't sure what it was so I picked it up. Well imagine my horror when I turn it towards me and have a little looksie inside. Yep, it was a grenade. I froze and then gently put it back down under the seat just as I found it and backed away slowly. I was a little upset. For one, was I driving around with the potential to blow myself and my kids up? What kind of person leaves that behind? Two. You know how when you notice something or are thinking of something and suddenly it's everywhere? For example, when HF started going to the academy, it seemed like the only stories in the news were about cops being killed or dirty cops getting caught. Well, when HF joined the swat team, the only stories I noticed were swat related deaths and of course, those were the only stories that seemed to be on the news.  Anyway, I am well aware that a couple of recent swat-related deaths were related to flash bang grenades going off. Without knowing the whole story, I just felt certain that these were very unstable devices that will just randomly go off without warning. When I confronted HF later about leaving his all his junk in my trunk, he had a good laugh and explained that they were dummies.

Can you imagine what would've happened to me driving around town with grenades and an expired driver's license. I expect I will take care of that license problem real soon. . .

gettin' er done

I love this poster by Mary Kate McDevitt

Plan baptism for this weekend. . check 

Prepare bedding for a million people in our home. . check

Plan lunch for said million people. . check

Meet with realtor, place bid on short sale. . check! (that's right, we did)

Wash Dr. Seuss-esque pile of dishes in kitchen that can only be washed by hand. . check

Clean vomit off of floor. . check

Wonder why it still smells like vomit even though carpet was cleaned and discover that child also threw up all over the back of her bedroom door, and inside of a purse. An empty purse luckily. Clean that up too. . check!

Get my hair did. . to do

Find coupon for much needed haircut and color. It is around her somewhere. . to do

Try for the third time to get the boys' haircuts. . to do

Freak out at HF for leaving his swat gear in my car (story of what happened to come). . to do

Email baptism details to clergy member. .to do

Make a really tasty recipe with all that swiss chard in my fridge. . to do

Stop buying Easter candy. . to do

Write requested letter to friend Shauntel. . to do

Get my daughter to finish her homework within 30-45 minutes instead of taking until bedtime! . . to do

Menu plan and go grocery shopping. . to do

Take books and movies back to library and pay million dollar late fees. . to do

Plan a little "thing" for HF's 2 year anniversary on the force. . to do

Plan our 9 year anniversary "date". . to do

Budget and have budget meeting with HF. . to do

Start exercising again! Along the same lines, go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. . to do

Blog. . to do

As you can see, my to do list is MUCH longer than my checked off list. But sometimes life is just like that. What can you do. I haven't been chatty much lately, but I'm reading blogs when I get the chance. Hope all is well with everyone and that you are getting a nice spring and not more snow like we are! Seriously. It's killing this California girl.

bits n' pieces

Hullo. Miss me much? If you've been wondering where I've been, don't worry. It hasn't been anywhere special or exotic. If you must know, we've been getting our butts kicked by our kids. I don't want to talk about it other than it's been a real doozy being a mom and dad lately. As you might imagine, we are tired. The above picture pretty much says it all except add 2 more kids and take away the dog. I tend to not blog when the kids and other atrocities have got me down.

HF is currently on "vacation". Romantic ideas of a weekend getaway or even home improvement projects have been replaced by romantic ideas of sleep and consoling one another. The most exciting thing that has happened was when HF almost kidnapped someone else's child. We were shopping at a big second hand store. We were looking for an old bookshelf that we could restore for the kids' room. HF was minding our 4 year old son. He was tired and just sort of robotically keeping track of Luke. They stopped to look at a pile of junk toys. Another little boy about the same age as our son was also there looking at toys. When he picked a toy up to look at, HF snatched it from him and put it back on the shelf. The little boy whimpered and picked the toy up again. HF again took the toy from the boy, put it back on the shelf, said "No, we aren't looking at toys" and took him by the hand and began pulling and tugging on him to get him to keep following us. The little boy resisted and protested (thank goodness) and began to cry. HF was saying, "Comeon Luke!" Meanwhile, I am watching him man handle someone else's child and am quite enjoying it. The little boy's mom began to take notice so I said, "Uh, HF? That's not our kid. . . " He looked over at our real kid that was standing next to him on the other side, grabbed his hand and rushed away, leaving that poor mom confused. It was hilarious. I think it was fairly obvious that he was mixed up and not a kidnapper, but he felt horrible about it anyway. I told him he should've "badged" everyone and said, "It's okay. I'm a cop." I always tell him to do that. He gives me a disgusted look. Probably because he thinks I'm serious.

Anyway, while HF is home on his staycation, I'm sure he would love to rest and play. Well, he has another thing coming if he thinks that's going to happen (evil laughter)! I have another honey-do list. Wanna see?

1.   fix electrical problem in laundry room
2.   fix upstairs bathroom fan
3.   build children's bookshelf for their room. See instructions here.
4.   clean out vents
5.   hang framed pictures in children's room
6.   hang closet doors in guest room
7.   hang curtains in living room window
8.   clean carpets
9.   buy me a piano and get it moved from there to here
10. clean up balcony garden
11. wash windows
12. clean out basement window wells
13. pull out fridge and dishwasher and clean underneath
14. whatever else I might dream up

What kind of a person would I be if we didn't have some fun too:
1.  camping
2.  plenty of date nights.
3.  take kids to see Toy Story 3
4.  bbq's with friends
5.  possibly a one night getaway at a B&B

the adventures of Mrs. Fuzz

We got back yesterday from camping in a little place I'd like to call Paradise. HF is a volunteer for the search and rescue in the area and had to do a little work with another friend of ours who is also a volunteer. Both of our families went along for the trip and we enjoyed a luxirious and private camping area. We had a little river/stream going through the site, with a little bridge as you can see that leads out to many of the park's trails. HF brought a hammock for the kids and that was played with nearly the entire time. The weather was gorgeous during the day, pretty cold at night with thunderstorms. Our tent leaked a little bit. So the nighttime was pretty much the only misery, but we'll be better prepared next time. The kids were in heaven, I was in heaven, and I am wondering why we aren't doing this each and every weekend. HF only had to leave a couple of times to do work stuff. They had one emergency that they responded to, and were essentially just the base camp for other volunteers and workers so they had to have their HAM radios on and listening and responding occasionally. . I love everything about camping. Camp food, setting up camp, hiking, listening to the rushing water at nighttime, roasting marshmallows, campfires, etc.  Even though it's not very glamorous and we get dirty and smelly, I come home feeling like we've had a little R&R. The kids did not want to leave. The only mishaps other than the leaky tent, were one kid going over head first into the river, and my 20 month old throwing everyone's shoes in the river, which kept the kids and adults busy for a while running down the trail after the floating shoes. Also, the said 20 month old worked on his pitching arm and clocked a few of the kids in the face with some rocks. Luckily, no one was seriously injured.

Later, our daughter presented us with this "Saftae (safety) map".

I'm glad she has a plan in place just in case. . .  (the map goes from our house to her friend Bradley's if you were wondering)

And finally, I hit somebody's car today as I pulled into a parking stall. I've never done anything like that before. I was so mortified. It just scraped the car. There were no dents or anything. I was on the phone with my brother and he was telling me my options because I kind of started freaking out. I decided to leave a note, but the guy came out of the store to get in his car as I was getting my kids out of their seats. He looked to be about 25 or so. I smiled and said hi, and told him what happened. I asked him what he would like me to do. He said over and over not to worry about it and that it wasn't a big deal. I insisted that it was. Finally, he said he really didn't want me to worry about it and that he would take care of it. I was so embarrassed, but I thanked him and went inside to do my shopping. When I came out there was a note on my windshield. This is what it said:

Dear Ma'am,

Thank you for telling me about you scraping my car. Do not worry about it. I appreciate your honesty, and showing your children a good example. I do not have children but it probably takes a lot of hard work. Keep up the hard work.

-Jason

Wow. I chose the right car to scrape up, didn't I? What a nice and gracious person. We need more Jasons in this world. I probably won't see this guy again, but he really made my day.

since the last time I was here. . .

a few more police wives and/or police pals, for lack of a better term, have popped up:

Mrs. Gumshoe
The Story Lady
A View From the Porch
That Ladybug

I feel like I'm missing somebody. Let me know if I am. I also just wanted to say thanks for all the wonderful comments that everyone leaves and for the emails I get. I have been AWFUL at commenting myself and responding to emails as of late so I want you to know that I appreciate it very much.

If you must know where I've been, I've actually been going to bed early. So no late nights at the club as usual (sarcasm there). Just going to bed early because my kids are rocking my world! Last night both boys wet their beds at the same time. 4 year old came and got in bed with me, wet clothes and all. I woke up when I realized I was soaking wet. I changed the baby's diaper, was too tired to change the sheets on both beds so I put blankets over the wet spot and put them back to bed. Is that bad? Then baby proceeded to scream his head off for forever. I texted HF about the insanity, mostly in an attempt to keep a sense of humor about the horror of the situation and you know what? I don't know how he pulled it off, but he ended up coming home early and he put me to bed in the guest bed since our bed was now soaked. He got in bed too. In the morning, the kids couldn't find us for awhile. It was nice. Anyway, it's been seriously WILD these last couple of weeks with the kiddos. So I am tired.

We've also been fixin' our place up a bit, and I've been cookin' a bit so I don't have to cook everyday, and shoppin' and so on. I've also been doin' a bit of gardenin' too. Here's some pics of what's on my balcony (I don't usually leave the g's off of my words, just feeling a little bit country tonight):

please don't pay attention to our busted balcony

mostly everything looks like this, but still exciting

and there are a few red ones too! I've noticed some neighborhood birds have been eyeballing these plants as well. What should I do? Cover them with nets? Get an owl decoy??

This weekend my HF's baby brother and his wife will be visiting for memorial weekend. We have a jam-packed weekend of fun waiting for them (fingers crossed) It's also the last week of school for Daisy.

I'll be back tomorrow with a very important question for all police wives/spouses. I'm trying to make you all curious so you'll really come back tomorrow. Did it work?

one of those cheesy tributes

Yes. I'm about to post a cheesy lovey dovey post about HF. We celebrated 8 years of marriage on May 4th, although everyone we know corrects us that we got married on Cinco de Mayo. They call us on the 5th to congratulate us each year. That's okay. They can think it was the 5th if they want. As usual, I have been reflecting not only on this past year of our lives, but also of the past 8. I've spent time remembering the stories of when we met and what led up to our marriage, and what has happened these past few years since then. It's not all good. It's not all full of flowers and puppies, and rosy cheeks and giggles. Some of the hard times are difficult for me to reflect on, but I see the couple we are today as being a better couple than 8 years ago even though we might've been more bright eyed and touchy feely than we are now. One thing I've done this week is think of specific times where I knew that HF truly was the love of my life.

{cue dream sequence music}

I loved HF when I first saw him. He was everything physically that I ever dreamed of in a guy. It was weird actually, how he fit my "perfect guy" image to a T. Not only was he the best looking guy I had ever laid eyes upon, he had all the personality and talents that I found desirable in a guy as well. Isn't that what we all think at the beginning of a relationship? Well a couple of things stuck out to me after getting to know him. He was so kind. And so honest. He wears his heart on his sleeve. That is true to this day. He never says an unkind thing about anyone, and he doesn't fight or argue. . . {clears throat}This is pre police days folks.

The other night as we were falling asleep, I was snuggled up on his chest. I was listening to his breathing getting deeper and I knew he was drifting off to sleep. I said, "You would do anything for me". It was kind of like a surprised statement. And then I added, "you have". He squeezed me tighter to him and said, "yes. I would." I didn't mean it in the buy me diamonds and pearls and whatever I want way, but I saw with brand new eyes the kind of man he has always been and has grown into these last 13 years. If he knows that I want something or need something, he does what it takes to give it to me. I think that's in the nature of most men, but let me give you a few examples.

One day we were out enjoying the sun. I was 9 months pregnant with our first child. We were on campus of the school we were attending and there was a karaoke event. They were giving away free stuff to people who were participating. I saw a t-shirt I wanted. I said, "HF. Get me that shirt!" Without saying anything, he walked up there, and he sang, "Hit Me Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears. Not only did he sing it, he really got into it. He was better than Britney herself! At that point he drew a fairly large crowd of people. When it was over he walked back over to me and gave me the loot he won and life went back to normal. I tucked that away in my memory for keeps. Most people I know, myself included, would never in their lifetime make a fool out of themselves like that. He did it again a couple of weeks later. Except he didn't make a fool out of himself. He entered a talent show and sang a song that he wrote with his guitar. The song was about me. And about our baby that we were about to have. As tears filled my eyes, I realized that he had given everything to be with me. Literally. He sold his nice car, and sold a bunch of his music equipment so that we could be more comfortable. We were crazy and got married while we were still in college and without any monetary support from either of our families. A couple of crazy kids we were.

Now without delving into HF's growing up years, I'll just say it wasn't very good. To this day, his family doesn't realize the son they have. They don't praise him, they don't acknowledge his feelings and ideas. He has never been respected nor treated very nicely by them. He's never said anything and continues to treat them with the kindness and respect that he would want. Maybe they will never change, but he is a good example of someone who is Christlike, although he would humbly disagree. I love that I am his family now and that we are creating the family he wishes he always had. I love that I understand him and that he knows that I do. I love that I am usually good at knowing what his needs and wants are and vice versa. I love that my own family loves him and thinks the world of him. I love that he can now get what he's always needed. And I love that what I think about him is good enough for him.

The other thing about HF came as a pleasant surprise. You really have no way of knowing how good of a parent you or the person you marry will be. I never gave it much thought. Through the last few years I have noticed countless times the way HF talks to and teaches our children. He plays with them. I can tell that the kids need their daddy fix when he isn't home much or busier than usual. It's made me see how vital his role is as a father even though he is home so little. I beamed with joy at our daughter's birthday party when we needed to get things under control while we waited for parents to come and pick up their daughters. HF took charge and led them in games such as "Ballerina Says" (instead of Simon Says) and did all the ballet poses with them. He read them stories using different voices for each character, and when the girls began squealing and giggling so loudly in delight during one of the games, he put on his shooting ear muffs (I know, I know, I have no idea what you call them!) which made the girls laugh and squeal even harder.

HF saying, "Ballerino says, do the chicken dance!"

During the Olympic games in Beijing, HF would watch them with Daisy and explain the sports to her. I overheard him say to her more than once, "That's a girl that just did that. Isn't that cool? Girls can do anything. YOU can do anything you want to Daisy. Did you know that?" That made me smile. I don't know if he even thinks about it at all, or if it's because he was raised with a working mom, but I appreciate SO MUCH the respect that he gives me as a human being. It makes me feel strong and important and capable. But he also makes me feel beautiful and feminine and wanted and needed. And isn't that what every woman wants to feel? I've decided he has a gift.

Okay you can throw up into your waste bins now. Thanks for allowing me this cheesy moment. I promise I won't do it again for a while. . .

word of the day: antimicrobial

image found here

I received this email from a fellow police wife, Luralyn.

my husband (currently at academy) just learned that he should be using antimicrobial laundry detergent on his uniform, especially if there is a chance anything that antimircrobial detergent would be necessary to eliminate is on it. But we have a front loader, which means high efficiency detergent... plus I couldn't figure out what detergent is anti-microbial. Anyways, I'd appreciate thoughts from the police wife blog family on how they wash the uniforms in their house to be safe without going overboard on chemicals (I had been trying to eliminate them from the home, but apparently I don't get to).

Fortunately for us, HF's department has a laundry service. At the end of a shift they can put their uniforms into a bag with their identifying information attached. Sometime in the night, the magic laundry elves come and gather the uniforms and when the officer arrives for their next shift, hanging in front of their locker is a nicely pressed and cleaned uniform. Isn't that incredible? I think so. However, that doesn't mean I don't have my fair share of on the job nastiness to wash on ocassion. So I have often wondered about this myself.

Is it enough to wash the uniforms separately from everything else? Do you always run a hot water rinse cycle after you wash work related laundry? Is bleach a necessity in this line of work? Or are there other options? (Mamma Val and Rebecca I know you guys have touched on the laundry topic in posts and/or comments). It seems like I heard that vinegar is good for cleaning laundry. Or is it for a rinse cycle?

We are a sensitive skinned family so we have to use natural detergents. Tide seems to be everyone's favorite detergent for cleanliness. To tree huggers, Seventh Generation is quickly becoming the preferred eco-friendly brand. We have family and friends that have been making their own detergent. Not only is it made with minimal ingredients, it is also friendly to your wallet, being that you can make a large batch and use a couple of Tablespoons at a time for each load. You can also put it in an a cute glass jar or other container so it dresses up your laundry room/area. It is essentially Fels Naptha soap, Borax, and  washing soda. You can also add essential oils (which supposedly have antimicrobial agents) for scent. Here is a list of 10 homemade laundry detergent recipes from Tipnut.

Another thing that I have been hearing more and more about that I actually would like to try is soap nuts. I found this explanation to be pretty cool (found here).

Soap nuts might be new on the market but they’ve have been a staple in South Asian communities for many centuries. The soap nut is the dried fruit of the Ritha (Sapindus mukorrosi) tree, a tropical, deciduous tree native to Asia. When dried soap nuts are exposed to water, they release saponins which act as a natural surfactant, reducing surface tension and allowing dirt and oils to detach from clothing.

Soap nuts are a product of nature and are completely pure, containing no additives, fragrances, or chemicals. They also have antimicrobial properties and are 100% biodegradable.

To use soap nuts, simply place 2-3 whole nuts in a re-usable cotton bag and add it to the washing machine. When used in cold water cycles, soap nuts can be reused 4-5 times, but only 2-3 times when used in warm water washes. Between washes, remove nuts from the cotton bag and let air dry.

These natural gems can be purchased at most health food stores and on many websites.

Isn't that interesting? I thought so at least. I think buying these are pricier, but since you can reuse the nuts a few times, it might end up being cost effective.

Please share how you handle the police laundry at your home.

Thanks for your email Luralyn. Best wishes for you and your husband while he's in the academy!

one year into police life

Alright, alright. I'm ready to come back to blog land. It's been a nice break. Do you want to know the real reason I haven't been blogging? The 18 month old is into everything, the 4 year old, like the t-shirt says, is hungry ALL THE TIME, and the 7 year old has just begun this odd phase of thinking there are germs and bugs in her food and water and I actually have a picture to prove it! Please tell me this is a phase and she's not going to be like Bill Murray in What About Bob?

What else have I been doing? I planted 6 boxes of strawberries on our balcony. Our co-op garden is huge. It's in a friend's backyard. They are a family of 6, our family of 5, and one other couple. We had a lot of success last year so we are doing it again this year. Right now we have spinach, broccoli, peas, lettuce, and one other thing I can't remember. That has already been planted. Next we will be planting our tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, yellow squash, peppers, carrots and herbs. I am really looking forward to it. We also have a strawberry patch there, but we decided to do our own as well since you can never have enough strawberries.

I've been reading, reading, and reading. I've also been watching a lot of movies and tv shows. Anything to occupy my mind from other stresses such as cleaning my house. And let me tell ya, it is a major pig sty right now. The other night HF came running down the stairs in a hurry to get out the door to work, and he kept tripping and stumbling over the messes in the living room. He looked at me in disbelief (since I'm usually quite OCD about cleaning) and I said, "what are you looking at?" It's so overwhelming I don't even know where to begin to clean. To aid in avoiding my household duties, I spent the entire day outside with a bunch of ladies in the neighborhood, some with kids and others single. It was a blast. We let the kids play while we looked at smutty gossip magazines like US weekly, and I got a sunburn! I have a purplish hue to my skin. That's how sunburned I got. And after dinner yesterday, the kids and I headed to a dia de los ninos fiesta and enjoyed some dancing and crafts. I have so far successfully avoided all household responsibilites for 3 days now.

This week marked the one year anniversary that HF began FTO. He also had another shift change this week. We are back to 10 pm to 6 am. Much better than the 7 pm to 3 am. He didn't get home until 5 or 6 anyway on that shift. This morning he didn't get home until 8 because he went out to breakfast with friends. Then I kept him up for another couple of hours after that. He also has some out of state training coming up, a new R.A.D. class he'll be teaching soon, and 2 full days of weapons training this week. Do you want to know the real reason I love 10p-6a? Get this. HF comes home in the morning and stays up. He'll make breakfast for the kids and get their clothes ready. He'll also get the treadmill ready. Then at 7:30 he'll wake us all up, he'll feed the kids and keep them out of my hair so I can work out. Then from 8-8:15 we'll have family scripture study, and then he takes daughter to school. I get showered, he gets home and goes to bed by 8:30 and voila! Day is off to a perfect start. But this only works in theory. He has to be home by 7 am or so. But you get the picture. Also, this kind of helpfulness kind of makes up for a lot of the sacrifices I make each day with the unpredictability of his work. I'm not always happy, but I have come a long way from being the dependent and needy gal I once was. We have also gone out on a couple of dates recently. And hopefully we can continue to do so on this shift.

HF is still doing really well. He still gets teased a lot by the other officers, he gets lots of compliments too. He's made a lot of good friends, he's had to buy a lot of gear. I no longer enjoy driving with him. I think he is the worst driver ever. Sorry HF if you're reading this. CCW sums it up just about right in this post. I'm assuming that it is another one of those rookie things. Fingers crossed. We continue to transition pretty smoothly for the most part into police life. We still fight about the same things. Mostly time management issues. I want him to stop sleeping, he wants to keep sleeping, etc. He will try and cheer me up by wearing his shoulder holster around the house-Bruce Willis style. I try not to show it, but it almost works! I will have more stories and updates next post. For those of you who still think about CJ, she is up to the same ol' same ol'. Still updating her facebook status that she is still working as a cop and will be promoting to investigations soon.

So that about sums everything up.

personal post: another recap!

Good: I'm caught up on laundry! I tackled that massive mountain of laundry that was taking residence on our bed.
Bad:  I washed and dried a pair of HF's special tactical pants the "wrong" way and "ruined" them. Oops!

Good:  Friends visiting from AZ.
Bad:  Our kids fought with their kids.

Good:  Was able to run many errands this week and learn about couponing finally. Hopefully couponing will save us some dough.
Bad:  left the keys in the door each time I went out (even overnight twice!). I feel lucky to be alive.

Good:  We bought a dresser for the kids' room.
Bad:  We scratched and banged up our walls getting it up the stairs.

Good:  Stayed up the night before St. Patrick's Day making a bunch of these. I didn't have to buy anything. Already had all the supplies on hand. Well, except for the "gold" aka rolos.
Bad:  I ate like an entire bag of rolos while making them. . .

Good:  Ordered Daisy's birthday cupcakes from a "famous" cupcake bakery. These cupcakes are divine!
Bad:  My son threw a fit while we were in there, smeared his grubby hands and face all over the display cases and screamed at the customers and the workers, begging for food. People looked at me in disgust. It was one of the most embarrassing moments in parenting for me up to this point.

Good:  We have been sticking to a menu plan and a food budget and eating healthier.
Bad:  The dishes have been piling up and piling up because I'm the only one that does them! See for yourself. Don't you judge me. This is the part where you say you've been there too. Anyone?

Good:  Had a coupon for the Princess and the Frog for $10 off.
Bad:  Went on release day and apparently Disney is sold out of the blue ray and dvd combo pack that the coupon is good for.

Good:  We have been car shopping for a new van and found the perfect one that fit our budget and our taste.
Bad:  HF test drove it and drove it to our house and when he left to take it back, it wouldn't start. Lemon?

Good:  Went to Costco today to get a few things. Was able to feed my kids lunch in its entirety just from all the samples. (their black bean burgers with cayenne are delicious!)
Bad:  Forgot half of everything it seems: diapers (baby is wearing the last one as we speak!), agave, beans, etc. and they don't sell my favorite face wash anymore. AND a strange old man shuffled toward me with his cart with his fingers in a pinching motion at me. Just when he got close enough to "pinch" me, or whatever he planned on doing, his caretaker, daughter, whoever it was steered him away. I was going over in my mind how I would "kill" him. Remember HF's advice? "Be nice. Be polite. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet." Luckily I didn't need to take such action. Why do I attract the weirdos???

Good:  Our almost 17 month old is hilarious. He has such a great hearty laugh and is happy all the time and has a shoe fetish. He loves wearing our shoes. And he is so curious about everything. Busy and happy and healthy.
Bad: He "misplaces" one of each pair of shoes, climbs up to reach the sharp knives and will take one and run off with it with his arms swinging (scary) while I chase behind him to grab it before he pokes his eye out. Looks like I will have to move the knives. Again.

Good:  HF works hard to take care of us and to excel in his career. He has a good reputation, respect from everyone he comes in contact with, and has made a lot of good connections with the right people.
Bad:  He is gone a lot and sometimes I am tired of being without my "partner in crime". I did marry him you know, so I could spend the rest of my life with him.

Good:  A while ago, we rid our home of the mouse problem. Holes are covered up, everything is clean, traps have been placed in strategic locations just in case.
Bad:  I was so traumatized by the mouse problem that we had that every night without fail, before I go to bed, I sit in the middle of my bed listening to all the creepy house sounds that might mean the return of a mouse, or even a possible break-in. My heart races and I imagine the worst. Please tell me someone else does this. My imagination really runs wild when I sleep alone at night. Still not used to it. The mouse that we caught (humanely I might add), I made HF drive miles and miles away to let him loose in a wide open field. It's the same mouse I fear that will find its way back to our house. I really need to get a grip.

Good:  HF has another shift change coming up and gets Fridays and Saturdays off!
Bad:  His shift change is 10 pm to 6 am. (this is better than 7 pm to 3 am, but still not the most desirable shift. For me.)

M.I.A.

Recap of the week:

1.  Baby Beau has RSV. Doc says he is contagious for another 2 weeks.

2.  Everyone else has been sick too

3.  I woke up one morning this week and vomited on and off for a few hours. (this is what, the 4th time in      just a couple of months? My body is seriously screwed up! No, it's not what you're thinking)

4.  Contemplated that I could've gotten sick from the previous day's raw vegan get together I attended.

5.  Decided I wasn't meant to be raw vegan.

6.  One of my big brothers is getting married in April. I like my soon to be sister-in-law.

7.  I went to a Bridal shower tonight

8.  HF and I were invited to go to Cancun next year at a timeshare. We think we are going to do it.

9.  I made some carrot soup tonight. Everyone gagged on it. Even me, but I pretended like it was awesome.

10. I also made some quinoa cookies and everyone gagged on those as well except for the baby. He likes them.

11. This week a creepy guy that's been hanging out at various elementary schools in the city (the police have been monitoring his activities somewhat) attempted 3 abductions. A 4 year old girl, a 6 year old girl, and an 11 year old girl. Two of the girls got away from him without any trouble. The 6 year old, not too far from where we live, he was watching her play in her yard and her babysitter looked out and saw him picking her up and she went out and confronted him and went nuts on him yelling and such. He followed them back inside her house! Anyway, he's been arrested. This stuff freaks me out. It's everywhere, but I feel like we've had too much in our city alone with guys like this. Our daughter is in R.A.D. kids right now. I also see many kids her age walking to and from school by themselves and they take this underground pass that is dark and creepy with gang grafitti. Anyone could be down there waiting for kids. I will probably walk my daughter to school until she goes to college.

12. HF has worked on all of his days off and had additional training, R.A.D. classes, and special events. It gets to me sometimes.

13. One of my good friends took Daisy to Disney on Ice for her birthday

14. Another one of my brothers came to visit and watched the kids at night while they were sleeping so I could go out. (I had to suppress crazy laughter of sheer joy at getting out)

15. When I was coming out of the grocery store a few days ago late at night, I saw a couple walk up to our car and put something on the windshield. I though they must've hit it and they were leaving me their insurance information. It was a note that said, "Only three more days until Friday! Yeah! Have a great night." They also put a kit kat in it. I love kit kats. They didn't know me. I didn't know them. That kind gesture touched me and lifted my tired spirits.

16. We moved our two oldest children upstairs from the basement. Now our baby is happy and he sleeps better at night having them near. I do too.

17. I am busy making birthday party plans for our soon to be 7 year old. It's going to be a ballerina party. I hit the dollar store and this is what I have so far. It's going to be awesome. Faux silver platters, colorful tutus, ring pops for the favor bags, and flower garlands for hanging up in the kitchen above the food table. The dollar store is awesome sometimes!

18. This is what my bed looks like right now (photo overexposed to keep the mystery surrounding our life). And I want to shove it onto the floor and crawl into bed, but I have been doing that for weeks. And it just keeps getting bigger. I keep hoping that it will bother HF and he'll put everything away, but I don't think he even notices it.

19. Oh, if you want to buy The Princess and the Frog when it comes out next week, print off this coupon and get it $10 off. If you go to Walmart on the release day, new releases are usually $13 or $14 so with $10 0ff you will spend $5 or less! Not bad, eh? We did this for Snow White when it came out. It works!

20. The OCD in me had to have 20 things, not 19.

a winter's manifesto

One of the blogs I read occasionally is Soule Mama. She created the above image for download over at her blog with the written winter manifesto. I found it inspiring since I'm having a serious case of the winter doldrums! I miss my year round sun. I've lived here in this God-forsaken wonderful place for 10 years now and I'm still not settled. I'm working on it.

I especially like the part that says, "Get out there everyday, no matter how cold or quick the visit may be. Through crunchy snow underfoot and breath-warmed wool on your face, remember the magic and wonder of it all. Try not to take it for granted."

How do you other winter dwellers survive the long months of winter?

fighting

Recently I discovered another Police blog, Cop Mama. She's been a cop for 15 years and is also the mom to two very small boys. She blogs a little about everything and I've been enjoying reading. A few days ago I read her post, This Is How WE Fight. She posted a conversation she had with her husband via text messages that could've easily escalated into a fight and she shows how her husband used humor to defuse the situation and later when they talked they both agreed that they should use humor more often. She then asked her readers, "what tools have YOU and your spouse found to defuse an argument?"

Humor, for us, is really helpful in dissolving a potential fight. In my opinion, this has always been one of our strengths as a couple. I can think of a few specific examples:

ME: I am so angry with you right now. I really don't want to be, but it's just so easy to be sometimes.

HF: That's why it's so hard being a super hero. The moment you do something human, everyone turns on you.

He always says these sort of dumb things, but no matter how angry I am, it usually makes me crack up, or at least smile. When I laugh or smile, he usually keeps it up and smothers me with affection so we can talk in a more loving and respectful manner about the problem.

One day during dinner I was furious with HF for something (must've not been very important because I can't even remember what it was now) and I got up to get the milk out of the fridge. Behind the kids' backs I gave HF a death glare. He stopped eating, dropped his fork and said, "Oh no you di'int". He was out of his chair and chasing me in a split second. I was so surprised by this that I actually screamed and ran up the stairs laughing. I was also unsure of what he was going to do. He came after me and tackled me on our bed where we ended up kissing. I was no longer angry at him and we could talk rationally about what had caused my anger towards him.

Most recently, HF looked at me and noting my look of disappointment, he said, "You think I'm hot, don't you." I didn't say anything. He said again, "you think I'm cute, huh." I finally smiled and said, "Yes. I do." Then he added, "It's impossible for you to be mad at me right now because I'm so cute." Again, he made me laugh and shake my head at him. And he uses that one about his looks when I'm especially angry. We could be totally having it out and he'll say, "Even though you are yelling at me right now, you can't help but think how hot I look in these jeans. You are so attracted to me right now. You want me don't you." How can you stay angry and fighting with someone who randomly says something like that to you.

We've been fighting. In fact, we have had a couple of what I consider to be real doozies lately. What it comes down to is the change in HF in regards to his communication style mostly. He seems so angry all the time and there is no reasoning with him. No one likes to be told when they are wrong, etc. That causes one to become defensive. We've been told that this is normal for every cop early on and that it goes away with time. I tend to believe more along the line that it's still a decision that you make to be angry and it won't go away with time unless you deal with it appropriately. I'm not very sympathetic to the whole "I'm acting this way because of . . . " stuff. If you know how to act and what's appropriate, then you just do it! I understand that he is going to change, but no matter how much reading I do about how becoming a cop affects your loved one, I expect him to communicate with me in a better way and sit down with me so we can both talk about it. I also know that I can't make him do what I want him to do. He knows what's right and he's an adult. I know he has the tools, and I know he knows what I expect. I know he wants the same thing as I do. It's the same for me as well when I am struggling and need to change.

While I'm not worried and hopeless about our relationship, I am impatient and frustrated with the slowness of change. After a day of fighting, sometimes I think how can I make this right. How can I make things better. How can I nurture love and forgiveness in our relationship. I suspect he's asking himself the same things. We both end up texting each other apologies and hugging it out when he comes home. Or sometimes it's not until we're in bed and the silence is too much for us to bear and we end up inching towards one another until our feet are tangled up together. It doesn't solve the problems. It doesn't make all the anger and hurt go away, but we love each other and neither of us like how it feels when there is tension between us.

I guess what bothers me the most is that HF has always been a lover not a fighter. That is something that drew me to him early on. He is very forgiving and I am not that way. I am a fighter and don't want to forgive so easily. Lately I have realized how much I have relied on this strength of his. I have always seen him as a very Christ-like person, which is how I would like to be. I also realized that it's always HF and not me that uses humor when angry. He's the one that makes things better when we are fighting. That's why his suddenly being a fighter instead of a lover has got us all in disarray. I expect him to be the one to make it better. I've never known him to turn the tables on me.

I'm not writing this as a plea for help or for advice. I'm just putting it out there more as a conversation starter because I think we all have our times of disconnect in our relationships. I think that certain professions such as being a police officer adds strain at various times throughout the relationship as well. We are still adjusting to this lifestyle. HF is still adjusting to his job and the responsibility that that entails. I guess what I'm saying is we are all going to fight in one way or another and how we fight affects the path that we will travel in our relationships. Without humor making an appearance in our fights, I don't know how we would forgive one another and move on stronger and wiser as we grow old together. Granted it doesn't always work, but it really does most of the time.

What are your stories? How do you keep a fight from escalating?

In my best Linda Richman accent (Mike Meyers in SNL's Coffee Talk), "I'm all verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves!"

P.S. Today is one of HF's days off. He spent it not being able to get out of bed and then going with his partner to another officer's house to go through all his Vietnam era junk that his wife was making him get rid of and brought home a bunch of new crap which I asked him if he knew where he was going to keep it. He said he would find a place and that I wouldn't even see it. I told him it better be a room of requirement (Harry Potter reference). Then after making dinner for three screaming children and dealing with them all day on my own and getting them to bed, he puts in an episode of the Backyardigans because he has "one of their songs stuck in his head and this is the only way to get it out". Talk about making me angry! :)

getting too old to party all night

It happened last night. I turned 30. And I'm still alive. Or as many friends have said to me this week, "thirty, flirty, and thriving!" (13 going on 30 movie reference). For your information, HF has done a really lousy job at celebrating my birthdays over the years, and finally this year I warned him that something really bad would happen to him if he didn't make my 30th special. I haven't been especially excited about turning 30.

This year, all the stars were aligned and my birthday fell on one of his days off. Every day during the week, there would be a knock on our door and there would be a package from him. We aren't spenders, and I don't like money being spent on me, but it was such a nice surprise to get a little something from him each day. I had not expected it at all.He was certain that he would have to be gone on my birthday, so he was giving me a week long bithday.

Last night we got dressed up in our fanciest and he took me to a very fancy 5 star restaurant. Unfortunately, I got pretty sick afterwards. I guess I'm not used to eating that way, or there was something bad, or I'm not sure, but I felt pretty sick to my stomach afterwards. I have never eaten at such a fancy place. Someone came and put the napkins across our laps and they placed a teensy ball of sorbet in front of us to cleanse out palate. The starter salad was probably the best part of the whole meal. It was mixed greens with freshly grated parmesan and thyme on top. It was heavenly. I chose a very basic meal of herb roasted chicken, buttermilk mashed potatoes, and vegetables. I'm pretty sure it was the gravy that made me sick.

After dinner we did some shopping and then he took me to see Sherlock Holmes. I really enjoyed this movie.
And the gifts don't end there. I got to sleep in today until I wanted. I got up at noon because I was meeting friends for lunch. It just about killed me staying out until 1 a.m. First sign of aging? The inability to stay up late?

Anyway, I think I like 30.

Robot birthday party

 On Tuesday we had a Robot birthday for our now 4 year old son, Luke. We started the morning with robot waffles and fruit.

 

For the treat bag, I made "nuts & bolts". Idea here. Mine was made up of chocolate chex cereal, honey nut cheerios, pretzel sticks, and m&ms. 

 

 Another snack, "Memory Cells", is made up of Pirate's Booty.

 

 "Machine Oil" aka cranberry juice.

  Oh, and robot bentos for lunch. This is a Wall-E sandwich and Eve egg. See on fuzz food and link to anna the red's instructions on how to build Wall-E. She does amazing work.

 The robot cupcakes which look nothing like they were supposed to. The perfectionist in me was kind of ticked about it.

 

 Activity: Coloring robot pictures. I just googled 'robot coloring page' and found this guy.

 

 Activity: building Lego robots and building robot costumes out of cardboard boxes and tinfoil.

 

Present received: Robot pajamas by Carter 

  

Present received: lift off rocket by iplay seen here.

My sister made Luke this little patchwork robot doll. I love it. I don't know if he's as thrilled about it as me though.

All in all a very successful day. He loves being 4 so far.

one year ago. . .

One year ago today yesterday, I did my very first post on this blog as Mrs. Fuzz. Let's take a look at how things have changed.

1. I'm still excited for the premiere of LOST season 6, although not as excited as last year. Last year, I was watching so much tv online because I was nursing a newborn all night long. 
2. I am no longer losing clumps of hair. Must've been related to the aforementioned newborn. I do still think about the 10 pound hairball however. It will probably haunt my memories for as long as I live.
3. Instead of dealing with 3 weeks without having HF around, it's been a year now and I'm coping just fine.
4. Nope. Nothing changed there, except I no longer share my bed with the baby. 

We have a busy itinerary the next couple of weeks:

• Luke's 4th birthday (Robot birthday- it's going to be awesome)
• My 30th birthday (hoping HF will make it awesome)
  
• teaching a cooking class
• a major event with HF's work that I'm not allowed to mention yet. . .
• my parents coming for a visit
• playing the organ for a church choir 3x a month-takes a lot of practice!

That's just barely scratching the surface of what's going on. I'm also trying to get our family a little better organized. I am trying to plan out daily/weekly/monthly chores, meal planning and cooking, and a new exercise routine. I want both kids to get into a sport of their choosing, I'm doing home preschool with Luke, trying to get Daisy into a charter school, taking care of our own food storage and emergency supplies, and trying to help others where we can. We are also trying to set up a new budget. We just got our W-2's and are going to try and file within the next week.

Anyone feel this crazy busy?

notes from my deathbed

Another unbelievable week at the home front. A week ago, our oldest son vomited all over his room. He was sick for a couple of days. Now he has a cold and cough. Four days ago, our baby vomited in his crib and has been having crazy, messy diarrhea ever since. I have more poop stories if you're interested. Two nights ago as I was getting ready for bed, I began vomiting. Yesterday morning, I woke HF up to see if he could take Daisy to school. He was able to pull some pants on just before running to the bathroom to puke his guts out. Last night after getting the kids to bed (after a whole day of them doing and eating whatever they wanted without parental supervision), our daughter came upstairs holding her tummy. I handed her a garbage bin and she started vomiting. We all felt fine and then BAM! It really snuck up on us. Unfortunately, HF and I will never eat Hummus again since that was the last thing we ate before going to bed.

Even though it really, really stinks having everyone sick all at once, it really hasn't been as bad as it usually is under these circumstances. The only annoying thing is, for some reason HF has been in bed for the last 48 hours while I've been cooking, cleaning, and tending to everyone's needs. I've even tried enlisting his help, but he is rendered helpless and unable. Did I mention that I was puking and having diarrhea too? Reminds me of this man cold video. Can I get an AMEN up in here?

It's kind of romantic being sick together. We haven't laid in bed all day alone since, well, since Daisy was born. For entertainment, we've been holding our very own "Biggest Loser" competition. After puking my guts out for 24 hours, I claimed a total weight loss of 5 pounds. HF claims a total weight loss of 10 pounds. Isn't it just so easy being a guy?

HF has some work related posts that he'll blog in the next day or two. I hope all you readers are staying well and flu free this winter.

ol fon in gaeymy etel the kopts show up

Our 6 year old daughter drew another masterpiece recently. She placed it on HF's nightstand so he would see it when he came home from his shift. I woke up because I heard him trying to sound out what she had written. It says, Ol fun in gaeymy etel the kopts show up. In other words, It's all fun and games until the cops show up. She came up with it all on her own from a t-shirt one of her uncles wears occasionally. We're working on spelling. This uncle has a lot of t-shirts. This one is his favorite (and he's married):

Would you let your hubby wear this?

maybe you had to be there, but I thought it was pretty funny

Tonight began like most nights. HF is on his new schedule (7p to 3a), so he was getting ready to go to work. He was shaving in the bathroom upstairs and I was getting the bath ready for our 14 month old. Then things turned into a scene straight from Full House where Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joey are left to tend baby Michelle with a poopy diaper. You know how these scripted scenes go. They end up doing something like putting on oven mitts and helmets and they wrap her up in a plastic grocery bag and secure it with duct tape. Anyway, I removed Beau's diaper and discovered that he had pooped. I had already filled the bathtub and didn't want to put him in there and he began squirming big time. So I held him up in the air while HF ran and grabbed the wipes and tried to wipe him while he was thrashing about. I held him above my head to see if HF had missed a spot, while HF bent over to inspect the ground. I wasn't paying attention to what HF was doing and as I lowered Beau, I unknowingly wiped his butt on HF's head. HF let out a groan and yep, you guessed it. There was poop on HF's head. I got the giggles really bad while HF plunged his head into the tub and had to do a quick wash. All the while HF is proclaiming, "You wiped his butt on my head! I can't believe you wiped his butt on my head!" All I could do was laugh. I'm still laughing about it. The baby was also laughing through all this. So hopefully this little escapade didn't make him late or flustered for work. I haven't had a good laugh in a while and I needed one. So thank you HF for providing that opportunity.

being a grownup

We've been doing a lot of grownup things these past few days, like cleaning out all the lint from the dryer ducts. I'm almost 30 and no one ever told me that you are supposed to clean out the ducts or it could cause a fire. We had a pile of lint the size of our 3 year old. For the last couple of weeks we were having to dry our clothes at least 4-5 cycles to get it dry. It's times like these that I realize that I've lived a fairy tale sort of life, believing that the lint fairy somehow took care of all the lint. I assumed HF believed in this same fairy, along with the fairy that does our dishes and does all the cooking. Along with dryer maintenance, I have also discovered that underneath our water heater is a gas flame! Just like one on a gas stove! My immediate thoughts were this:

I had no idea this is how we got our hot water. HF said I was probably the only person in the world that didn't know this. He has also reassured me that our house will not blow up, but it's still a possibility in the back of my mind. Anyone else have any shocking realizations like this? Now I'm wondering what else I might've overlooked. . .

how becoming a cop has changed HF

I'm back from the Christmastime festivities. The Little Tikes Police car that HF so painstakingly put together on Christmas Eve was a mega hit with not only the baby, but with the other two. Unfortunately I didn't realize that one of our dear children had put a fingerprint on our lens until after I took all the Christmas pictures, so they all have a foggy sort of look to them. I have a lot of blog reading I've missed out on, and I discovered that when someone emails me or leaves a comment that it goes directly to my spam folder. It's weird. So sorry to everyone that I have not responded to. I haven't been ignoring you, but I will do my best to reply in the coming week. And Handcuffed Heart, I will be emailing you tomorrow about the kid stuff like I ought to have long ago.

Now for the hot topic: I noticed a recent comment on an old post. Here's an excerpt:

"my boyfriend is applying to the local police academies. i knew he was meant for this job before he did and he's so passionate about it he's already started training himself so hell be ready lol. im a nurse so we are both used to my weird hours (usually 11p-7a) and being very passionate about my work (not to mention sharing the grossest and saddest details of my job) do you have ne advice for us when it comes to the transition he will undertake and how it will effect our relationship? i know people have said that some people change as they become cops and i want to know what kind of change i might see."

I know I've touched on this in previous posts, mostly in a humorous fashion, but I've been paying attention to the changes I've seen in HF since the academy days. I've never been sure of how to word it other than when I'm making light of the changes, but in all seriousness, this is my attempt at addressing the not-so-good changes that have occurred in my LEO. There have been, and still are, times where I'm not sure if this is a change I'm seeing in HF or if it's a fluke, but I know HF has changed. Remember, HF reads my blog, so let me preface this with a declaration of how much I adore HF and think so highly of him. He is, in my opinion a man with few faults and he makes me very happy. Here is some of what I included in an email to this reader above:

Grumpiness: During the academy, I noticed that HF started to be grumpy quite a bit. This is really uncharacteristic for him. At first I didn't say anything because I thought it was just some random behavior because of stress in the academy, lack of sleep and adrenaline dumps, or maybe difficult subject matter he was learning about. Probably some of everything. I started calling him on it because I realized that it was becoming everyday ordinary behavior. He still has occasional grumpiness that makes me think it's me or something I've done, but he works hard to fix it and deal with stress appropriately. That brings up. . .

Communication: Every relationship experiences its ups and downs with communication no matter how well you know each other or get along. Since HF has become a cop, I have noticed the way he communicates with me has changed. He tends to use the communication techniques learned in training on me and the kids sometimes. I don't like it. Sometimes he does it playfully, but sometimes it's to get the answers he is looking for immediately. I can't think of an example off the top of my head, but sometimes I get the feeling I'm being interviewed much like someone off the streets he deals with. I guess communication kind of goes along with impatience. He is direct and to the point much more than ever before and wants me and the kids and anyone else he deals with off duty to be the same and not "jerk him around". It probably doesn't help that I roll my eyes at his attempts to communicate this way. He usually sees what he's doing and stops and/or sees that it is ineffective with his family. 

Impatience: Much more impatience with me and the kids! When we talked about this with each other, he realized that he was indeed being impatient and the way he described it was like he was used to people doing what he said when he said it (complying) and you can't expect small children to really comply, you know? At least not the first time you ask. And you can't expect your wife to comply either, can you? :) I try to make life as easy for him as possible like he does for me, but to see him go from laid back without a care in the world to Mister "hurry up and do what I say and be direct" is kind of startling. It has its usefulness at times, but I see that he has a load on his shoulders to figure out how to balance his personal and family life with his "other" life.


Intense and Paranoid: We can't go anywhere without HF seeing trouble. He has to park a certain way, he has to look over his shoulder, look for escape routes, sit in a certain spot at a restaurant or at church, stand guard like a body guard when I'm getting into the car or helping the kids into their seats. The gun goes everywhere. It's like a big production when he gets dressed. The badge, the 2 wallets, the gun, the right clothes to conceal gun, etc. It drives me crazy. The fact that he has to do this is not the issue, but when I just want to go out and enjoy his company and he's constantly watching his back, sometimes it's like, "hello? Are you listening to me?". I've heard that this is normal rookie cop behavior and that he'll settle down a bit with time, but sometimes I just want him to myself and I don't want him to have to worry about anything else. Knowing HF, he'll never be complacent and will always be on edge, but it's a little tense sometimes!

Language: This isn't in regard so much to cop terms and lingo, but he never used to swear or tell crude jokes or stories, but he will now! He does a lot of editing for me because I'm a sensie, but still, it's one of those things that have changed.

Most of these things I've mentioned are things he doesn't even realize he's doing until it's brought to his attention. And like I said, he works hard to fix things that could become bad habits. I would say that it is a lot more hard work that is being put into our relationship and family since he has become a cop.

Becoming a cop changes you. It may not be drastic, it may not be in the same way as it is for others, but I would love to hear from any readers. In what ways have you or your cop changed? I'm looking for the good, the bad, and the ugly. I know it would be greatly appreciated to those seeking answers, myself included. In another post I would like to address ways you cope and even thrive despite all of the changes.