DMB

(the actual poster that hung in my apartment for years)

My friend Kate called me last night overly excited. "THE DAVE MATTHEW'S BAND IS GOING TO BE HERE AND I WILL TOTALLY BABYSIT IF YOU AND HF WANT TO GO!" Me, not particularly excited, "Oh, really? That's cool. HF would probably really like that."

You see, HF is one of those Dave Matthews Band fans. Yes, one of those people. I admit I used to be one of those people as well. In the 90s as a teenager. I think I was 14 when I first fell in love. I went to many of his concerts and even while I was at my first year of college, left classes to do a road trip to a concert with some other DMB fans I had connected with there. I would watch any time he was on tv and I remember rolling my eyes at my parents because they just didn't get it why he was so special. I remember being offended when my dad said he was a "sweaty balding dude wearing pajamas". Whatever dad. He just didn't get it.

When I was 15, I went to see him in Los Angeles. I went with a friend, Genevieve. I was totally convinced that he was pointing at me or looking at me or singing to me whenever he looked up at our balcony section. I was freaking out about it actually, practically hyperventilating that I was in love with him, and him with me. I confessed to my friend Gen that I wanted to be one of those people that follows him from city to city attending his concerts. She said, "like a groupie?" and I was like, "YEAH!" and then she asked me if I knew what a groupie was. Of course I didn't. She then told me that a groupie was essentially someone that sleeps with members of the band. I said, "Oh! But Dave wouldn't do that!"

In college, I purchased a gigantic poster of Dave that was halfway to the floor from the ceiling and hung it proudly in my apartment. (A roommate took a picture of me kissing poster Dave-lipstick and all) I was sure that my roommates would agree that he was the hottest and most talented thing and for sure appreciate my taste in apartment decor. When I met HF when I was 17, he played my favorite DMB song on his guitar. Little did we know that the other was like the biggest DMB fan EVER. That little confession I'm sure sealed the deal for HF. The conversation probably went something like, "Really?! Me too!!!" with eyelashes fluttering, and hearts palpitating.

One of the last times I went to see him was during my freshmen year of college. I ditched classes and drove with 2 like-minded buddies to see him. We got there early. We had really good seats and we were watching the roadies set up the stage, when out of no where, Dave himself walks out to have a look about or something. This was my chance, my opportunity to profess my love to Dave and then he would single me out, take me backstage and tell me that he's been waiting all this time for me. . . and I froze. So my friend Ryan yells, "DAVE!!!!" Of course, he looks over and waves. This had the same paralyzing effect on Ryan as well. So he stammered for a while before asking, "So, you gettin' ready for the show?" DM gave us the thumbs up sign and I glared at Ryan and said, "You blew it! That was probably the most retarded thing you could've said to him. Of course he's getting ready for the show. What else?" Ryan just sort of shrugged, embarrassed. Just then some girls spotted him and started screaming and running towards Dave. He started walking backwards back through the doors he had come through and he tripped and fell over a cooler. These girls were carrying posters, flowers, teddy bears, and gift bags. When I saw them I realized I was one step away from looking like that or acting like that and I realized that it was completely silly.

There wasn't really a specific turning point that made me fall away from Dave. Maybe it was growing up a bit or getting married, or having kids, but I would find myself turning the station halfway through one of his songs, or feeling annoyed when it was the only CD playing nonstop in our stereo. I think I either preferred quiet, or my taste in music was evolving a bit. I'm not sure, but I no longer love the Dave Matthews Band. When I confessed this to HF, he said, "I know. I could tell. And it's really, really sad." HF owns everything ever done by the DMB. He has all the early recordings from shows they did in bars before they got famous and everything they've ever released. A lot of this is on cassette tapes. Can I just mention here that we have a giant trunk full of cassette tapes that HF is unwilling to let go of? They sit there untouched, but still wanted. Each recording of the same songs is special and unique to HF and increasingly obnoxious to me. "They're all the same songs!!" I proclaim. "NO they're not! But you would know that if you hadn't left the faith. This one's from the Flood Zone in Richmond, and this live recording of the same song is from back when Pete was the official keyboardist before he left." I still have songs that I enjoy hearing, that bring a smile to my face, or make me sing along, but it's so over. I'm so sorry HF.

Now the DMB fans are aging. They still wear their concert t-shirts, and they love other bands such as Phish and the Grateful Dead. I used to think it was so hot to see HF in his faded concert t-shirts and birkenstock sandals. And I confess, if he did put on one of his old Phish t-shirts and the sandals again, it would probably bring a smile to my face. But I sent those items to the Goodwill long ago. Something that is unforgivable and I am actually trying to replace. Anyone have a faded purple Phish concert t-shirt from 1995 at the Hampton Colloseum?