If you don't know this vintage children's story by Robert McCloskey, it's about a pair of ducks that went looking for the perfect place to build their nest. They meet a policeman named Michael that feeds them peanuts every day. One day the duck family attempts to cross a busy road and Michael comes to their rescue and directs traffic to ensure that the ducklings get across the street safely. Michael calls for backup basically and has policemen on another corner stopping traffic so that they can again cross the street. The policemen smiled and waved goodbye to the ducks. It's a great story with great illustrations.
The reason I bring this little story up is because the other day, HF took a page out of this story in what I like to call "the wild goose chase" (even though they were ducks). Maybe this is a more accurate depiction of what actually happened. This is a shot from the movie Hot Fuzz, which HF is so perfectly and affectionately named after.
Apparently a mother and her little ducklings were attempting to cross a bridge/walkway and two of her babies fell down into a storm drain. When people would walk by the mother duck would attack. So needless to say, HF arrived with his FTO. The FTO laughed and told HF to have at it, so HF decided he would try and get the babies out of the storm drain. By now a large crowd had gathered. HF bent down to see if he could coax the babies out and the mother duck came flying at him and "bit" him on his back. I'm not really sure what you call it when they are using their beak. It was continuously attacking HF and going for his face. He had his arm up to block its advances. So then in one swift movement, he whips out the baton and everyone gasps in horror. But he tricked them all. He didn't use it to beat the worried mother, he used it to gently nudge out the ducks since he couldn't reach them. They came out and went running into the street. He stops traffic and some helpful citizens came and scopped up the ducks to save their lives and take them back to the pond. Meanwhile, this is all being photographed and/or recorded by cell phone so maybe it will be seen on you tube. Then HF said that everyone stood around cheering and clapping for a moment. A great PR moment.
Here's the funny part. One of the nice passers-by took the duckling to its mother and the mother freaked, flapped her wings and came flying at this guy, grabs on to his crotch and doesn't let go. the guy tries to shake her off and he's running around with the duck attached, screaming. Maybe that will be seen on AFV.
All in a day's work. However, I think I prefer this kind of call to domestics, shootings, and the like.