Awkward Family Photos. Thank you, Slam Dunks. I looked at this for probably a good hour last night.
Me: (trying to open a bottle with a butter knife because I couldn't find the bottle opener)
HF: Here, would you like to use this bottle opener?
Me: I've done it this way before.
HF: I know, and you have the scars to prove it.
Me: (stops what I'm doing and hands him my drink)
Daisy: Mommy, why do some people still have their Christmas decorations up on their house?
Me: (I look over and see a run down house that has every Christmas decoration known to man up) Uh, I don't know Daisy, maybe because it was so much work to get them up, it's just easier to leave them up for next Christmas?
Daisy: I know, maybe it's because they love Jesus just a little bit more than their neighbors!
Me: You know, you might be right!
I got a text from one of my brothers that said: "i have been banned from the downtown taco bell in downtown (city where he lives). there you go." The story is that he was in the drive thru and when he placed his order, the girl said she couldn't hear him. After repeating his order a few times and her not understanding him a few times, he leaned his head out and asked for his cheesy bean and rice burrito a little louder. She said, "You don't have to be so rude." Now, this particular brother of mine is very nice and soft spoken. He never yells or loses his temper, and is never rude to people. So he says back to her , "I'll just go somewhere else. Thank you." So he's waiting in the drive thru for the car in front of him to leave so he can just drive off, and the manager comes out and he says, "You are never allowed back here again! I heard the way you spoke to my employee, and you are banned from this restaurant. Don't come back." My brother was surprised and confused and said, "I'm sorry, I don't understand. I told her I would go somewhere else and not to worry about taking my order." The manager said, "I heard what you said. You said, "F*** you! I had headphones on too." My brother has probably never said the F word in his life, but the guy wouldn't listen to him. He tried calling the store later and the guy hung up on him. I told him he should call corporate now. He said he could understand the guy's reaction if that's what he thought he said, but he didn't do it. I told him that's what you get for going to Taco Bell.