Tuesday, February 3, 2009

reality setting in. . .

Everything's just fine and dandy and then I read this, and I'm thinking, "OMG!" And then I read this, and I'm really thinking, "OMG!", and then HF tells me that one of the officers in the department he dispatches for had a recent incident where a kid that was kicked out of the academy shows up at his home with a gun while he's outside with his wife and kids. He was mad and wanted to have a suicide by cop. Nothing came of it luckily, but all of this has got me thinking.

1. You never know if someone has a bone to pick with your husband and how far they are willing to take it.

2. How can you be completely prepared for any given situation without being paranoid and crazy, which I already have a natural tendency for. I already have an active imagination as it is. I can't do laundry in our basement without imagining that a 6 ft. rat is waiting for me, ready to pounce on me and eat my face off. I don't want to think that every time I open my door that someone is waiting to "get even" with HF, you know?

3. Should I get a concealed weapons permit?

4. Is there some kind of guidebook for families of a LEO?!

My husband has been talking about setting up code words or sentences. I guess if we are prepared then we don't need to worry. Right?!

Do any of you wives have gun permits? Or take self-defense classes? I always thought that having a cop car parked in front of your house was an added measure of protection, sending out a silent warning to would be "bad guys", but obviously that's not always the case.

I'm kind of freaking out right now! Obviously everything is heightened in my mind and in my heart because this is where my life is headed and I am thinking of HF and paying attention to every single "scary" story I hear. I guess this is partly why I am blogging. Getting it all out. Looking for others in Law enforcement and the like.


Anonymous said...

OK, first of all, this is normal. I've had these freak out moments too. I think two things are important: 1. Be honest and open with your husband. I tried to be strong and hold it all in - not good results. 2. Stay supportive of him and his career choice. If you support him, it's going to have such a positive effect on your relationship. The alternative - again - not good.

I'm not saying that to imply that you haven't been supportive, it sounds like you have been. He is in school, afterall! It's just such an important thing to keep in mind.

I'm not sure what to say about a gun or self defense. Having the skills and tools to protect yourself is never a bad thing, in my book. I wondered the same thing but didn't go the gun route. We did get a dog - a big frickin dog. Actually, they say even a little yippie dog can scare a prowler off because they make so much noise and draw so much attention.

mrs. fuzz said...

So great to hear what you think! My husband wants me to get a gun, but I really don't like the idea of having it on me when I'm man-handling little ones all day, but I guess I'll think about it some more.

I love the idea of getting a dog! We are planning on doing this when we get into our own home (with a yard) which will be soon (as in a year or two) hopefully. We don't have a yard where we live right now. We live in the city in a townhouse. I can't wait to move out of the city.

Stephanie said...

Just found your blog. I am always looking for other police wives out there!

Also wanted to tell you to "remain calm!" You will have moments when things freak you out, but don't let it overwhelm you.

We do have an extra gun in our house, but I would not really know how to properly use it. Plus it would take me forever to get it! It is locked up and the key is hidden way up high.

We also had a dog, but we just had to put him to sleep a few months ago. It did make me feel better to have him, for protection and to have something warm in the bed with me. :)

Anyway, just wanted to say hey!

mrs. fuzz said...

Hi Stephanie! Thanks for your comment. It's nice to find another police wife. Sorry about your dog. I also like the idea of having something warm in bed with me when my husband isn't there, which will be a lot.

Anonymous said...

I'm not comfortable with guns, they just make me nervous. I am VERY much not pro gun control. I think if you were to spend time learning about guns and target practicing, that could only be a good thing. As long as you aren't paranoid and sleeping with it or something.

Hmmm. I'm just realizing, I should take my own advice. Guess what? I'm going to start doing some target shooting with my hubby - I just decided.

Stephanie said...

Thank you for your encouragement and for asking if it was ok to link me. I would love it! We "single moms" have to stick together :).

MeadowLark said...

I wish I had something intelligent to say. I don't.

In the end? It is what it is. Worrying won't change it, it'll just ensure that you freak out if something happens. Have a warrior's mindset. Be alert, be prepared, love those around you, live your life - the rest will be whatever it will be.

(go ahead and say it: Thank you Captain Obvious!) ;)

Dori said...

There are freaks out there. That's just a reality. However, when it comes to what my husband deals with--I trust his training. He knows his job. His co-workers know their jobs.

We've had a few "incidents", potential threats due to "disgruntled customers" and during those times he has remained armed off duty. I know the code for the safe--but I'll never use one of the guns in it. As much as I *hate* being told what to do, I take his advice on parts of town I need to avoid.

For the past 6 years my husband has been on midnights. On the off nights our street was not part of his "beat", or when he's been out of town, other officers have kept an eye on us. I have certainly slept better knowing that.

Yes, we have a 120lb dog--but he's useless. An intruder is more likely to trip over him than be mauled by him.

I really don't have any advice. Just do your best to find some center of peace and don't let yourself get paranoid. You only lose sleep and then *nobody* is happy! Freak outs every now and then are perfectly acceptable--encouraged even!

Anonymous said...

I've always wondered how our own 120 pound dog would react if something bad happened. He definitely has a sharp bark - he's scared the crap out of a few visitors - but down underneath he's a big teddy bear. I took a picture of him cuddling with our kitten yesterday. You just never know how an animal will react in that kind of situation. I do know he'd bark and growl his head off at least, so that's one thing.

Kimber said...

I just wanted to jump on and tell you I really enjoy your blog. We are dealing with this a bit in our dept as the first ever lady cop brought some serious baggage with her that is causing some scary situations.

If you come up with plans, I'd love to hear them. So far my guy has given me the game plan for just us, but we're working on one that will work for all the wives in the dept in case something happens.

Thanks again!

Momma Val said...

Hi I love your blog. I just found you on Google blog search. My husbands been on for a little over 2 years. We live in the Chicagoland area. My blog is entirely anonymous for safety reasons. I had to ditch my Facebook too. My husband is VERY aggressive and we have to live a very guarded and "safe" life. It wears on me often. I don;t like living in fear BUT it would be foolish not to live very carefully, more carefully than a family that is not in law enforcement. We do have guns in a safe and I do know how to use them. I also have spray or some type of protection with me on a regular basis. OH, and always a cell phone too. And my husband has stopped telling the world that he is a cop. He has learned that that can be a very dangerous thing. Bad people hate cops and there are alot of bad people out there. Sorry to sound like a downer but thought you may find this useful. Stay on your toes but do not let the fear rule your world/life. There is such a fine line. Keep safe :)

Momma Val said...

Thanks for stopping by, please do add me, I already added you to mine :) Hope you don't mind either. I just found your blog and hardly had time to read much but will soon. I am SOOOOOOO glad I finally found a few police wives blogs. Wahoo!

Lisa E said...

My hub's department helped us develop a family emergency plan: code words, where to stand, who to call, when to leave, where to meet, etc. I also know the code to the safe, though I haven't had any formal training with his firearm and probably shouldn't touch it!

So far we've had no incidents, but we also live a bit out of town.

And this will get much easier for you and your husband as time goes on. You've probably been told that a million times, but it really is true.