Tuesday, October 6, 2009

an update

*tap, tap* Is this thing on?

You may have noticed that I'm not around as much as I have been in times past. Life for us has been a little nuts lately. We are trying to get more organized instead of just merely surviving.

I have loads to blog about, HF has work stories to share, so stay tuned for that! Exciting, yes. I also have lots of blogs to get caught up on reading.

HF is being sent out of state soon for training to become a R.A.D. instructor. For those of you unfamiliar with R.A.D., it stands for Rape Aggression Defense. I think this is the organization's main website. He is excited about that. He will miss our 1 year old's first birthday, but that's okay, because we are going to do what many have told us to do. Celebrate his birthday when HF gets home the next day. These little holiday/celebration switcheroos take some adjusting to. Anyway, I think R.A.D. is great. I might take a class if he's teaching it.

We had a mini planning session for October. HF has Sundays and Mondays off, but if you work graves you know that the first half of Sunday will be spent sleeping, and then staying up later than you should because you're "not tired", and then you stay up late together "partying" and then Monday is a busy day, but you're really tired because of your late night Monday, and then you are stupid and stay up late again, and then Tuesday you have to go to bed in the afternoon so that you can stay up all night come nighttime. So his 2 days off feel somewhat hectic and out of balance. We vow each week that we will go to bed early so that we can make the next day worthwhile. I told him this morning when the alarm went off again for the 4th time that we aren't wild, young, and free any more and that because we have kids this behavior needed to stop. He mentioned that next weekend he wants to play airsoft. If you've read this blog for a while, you may remember that I've mentioned once or twice an extreme distaste towards airsoft. I clenched my teeth and began clicking my pen. Then he said all upbeat, "I went ahead and took Saturday night off too, so it will be like having a 3 day weekend. I said without any hesitation, "done.", and marked it on the calendar. He said, "I knew you'd go for that."

Another wonderful adjustment to our schedule is HF stays up when he gets home until 8:30 am. He gets the kids their breakfast and gets our 6 year old to school while I get up and exercise (ideally) and sort of shuffle about and get ready for the day. HUGE lifesaver for me. Makes all the difference in the world. He now gets up around 4 pm. Which is fine by me. We have dinner together and spend some family time together and he can help get the kids to bed. This isn't always the case. Twice a week he has a night class, but he's still home in time to put kids to bed.

Next task: scheduling real life, out of the house, dating.

HF works closely with an older sergeant during his shift that he has come to respect and love. Recently, this sergeant told HF that he really likes him a lot, and that he talks about him to his wife all the time, that he reminds him of himself many years ago when he was first starting out, that he likes the way he thinks, the way he speaks, the way he writes his reports, the way he handles any given situation, and that HF was the son he never had. I thought these were wonderful compliments coming from this guy. He also mentioned that he would like to go out on double dates with us. I think that would be a lot of fun. Which brings up the dating issue again . . . and the need for babysitting . . .

Have any of you ever double dated with other officers (or superiors) and their significant others?

That's all I have for now.


Mandy said...

My husband and I have never double dated with a superior, but we used to {before the baby} double date with a few of the other officers pretty regularly. Always had a great time and wasn't weird or anything

OrdinaryLife said...

My husband is a RAD instructor too! He enjoyed the class, but our agency hasn't let him (and the other officer who teaches it too) to hold a class of their own yet. But, of course he wants to try the moves on me at home. That gets old.....haha!

Momma Val said...

Oh, yes, sometimes the routine needs a bit of tweeking and what a difference it can make!!!!! I remember the beginning and how difficult it was with a new baby. It took some time for us both to bend and create a new schedule/routine. You are so right, makes a world of a difference. Glad you found it, think many just keep banging heads on wall with same old schedule.

Looking forward to upcoming posts. Glad all is well your way :)

Momma Val said...

Oops, no, no double dating with fellow cops from our PD, though we do double with other friends from time to time. We are non-drinkers and many of the couples at this PD are pretty wild but I keep hoping he stumbles on someone we can click with.

LOUDnPROUD said...

Congrats to HF on becoming a R.A.D Instructor.
Maybe I need to find some more stuff to keep me busy I seem to have become somewhat addicted to my blog.
Funny how those special dates always seem NOT to fall on their RDO's.Murphys Law I guess.
The Holidays have gotten a little better like Thanksgiving or Christmas,we've learned to adjust to when we celebrate them if need be.Halloween and New Years Eve,my DH has worked those for as long as I can remember,apparently those are when people be extra bad!
I kinda miss those nights of staying up and being naughty but not the suffering of who is going to get up with the kids for school,which was usually me!
love the clenching of the teeth,No words necessary!
Have fun planning those dates ;)
We double date with his Sergeant and his LT.They are great people and mentors.We also go on vacation with a group of his peers and their families,we go camping and have even gone on crusies(without the kids) and can't wait for the next one.

Meadowlark said...

Glad all is well and HF has another wonderful opportunity. Mine leaves Sunday for a quick week of more computer forensics.

No double-dating. We know one other LEO couple (she's parole/probation, he's a captain with another agency) we do stuff with often, including vacations. I'm somewhat of a "loose cannon" so Husband is a bit hesitant to let loose his "hippie wife" within the confines of the department. ;) What's the song say? "She has trouble acting normal when she's nervous". That's me, sadly.

Enjoy the holiday switches... they'll be second nature soon enough.

LOUDnPROUD said...

Meadowlark,thats me,I do things I am not supposed to,like going off with all the wives and bringing them back in somewhat of a different mood(tipsy)and the husbands all saying what has your wife done!its all in fun,I hope!

Wifey said...

DH hangs out with his academy friends a couple times a month. And we just recently went out dancing with an academy buddy and his fiancee. Over the summer we went to an academy BBQ with about 6 couples and it was delightful. Unfortunately, pretty much all the academy guys live at least 30 minutes away, which makes it harder to get together on a whim.

Meadowlark said...

Not to be a hijacker, but Wifey if you look back at my place a couple of posts you'll find something for you. Peace.

copswife said...

*waves, Hi wifey!

We have hung out with another couple in hubs' department, yes. They are both cops, so that's an interesting perspective. Awesome that HF has found such a great mentor. I say go out and have fun!!

It's awesome that you guys are working the kinks out of your schedule. I think it is great that HF can stay up and help the kids in the morning. That time is important for you and him.

Erin said...

We frequently double date with a few couples from academy.

mrsofficer said...

Don't you just love looking at the month ahead trying to figure out a schedule?ugh it is torture.My hubby takes the kiddies to school most days that way he gets his gym time outta the way and it doesnt interfere with the rest of the day.On birthdays he misses we just celebrate later, no biggie. usually the day of I just make a special dinner for us and then a party for everyone else later. we did that with our 1yr old this yr, we had it a month later but it was the only time we could.And I dont think he cared haha i met alot of ladies when he went to the academy and we talk frequently.And through all the POA stuff. Plus he is quite the athelete so he gets recruited by the big dogs for just about everything! I actually worked with his sgt.sister so its nice to have people incommon. Double dates are fun we go with his partner all the time. He is like his brother and my kids call him uncle!

Kimber said...

I need to read through the comments.

But on the dating... well if we DO go on a date night it is always with other police families! We just love to be around them for date night. Also, if something comes up and one of the men has to leave quickly it is easy to hitch a ride home without all the pesky, "What's going on?" blah blah.

I used to hang with the wife of the guy who was my dh's superior until that guy left. She was a total mentor to me. that was nice too.

Slamdunk said...

On the sleep adjustment thing going into days off while working the overnight shift--on my first day off (after working all night), I would force myself to wake up after 3 hours of sleep so that I could go to bed that night.

It was not fun losing sleep every week, but it at least the practice allowed me to keep normal people hours on my days off and to spend time with the Mrs--time that was not at 2 am.

Natalie said...

Our date nights with other officers always involve the kiddies and tend to be more laid back.

The hubs and I haven't had an official date since...um...yeah, I'm not sure...

Congrats on the R.A.D instructor! Hope it goes as well as he would like!