Monday, August 16, 2010

going green (by HF)

The other night I responded to a report of two people riding a motor scooter on sidewalks and pedestrian areas.  I hadn't looked too far when I heard another officer call out a traffic stop on the scooter I had been looking for.  I pulled into the parking lot where he had them stopped and proceeded to back him up. 

As I listened to the other officer talk with the driver it became apparent that there was a lot wrong.  On top of the fact that he was driving all over the sidewalks the driver didn't have the proper endorsement to be driving a scooter, he didn't have his drivers license with him, he had no insurance on the scooter and  the registration on the vehicle had expired 9 months ago. 

His girl friend just sat on the curb looking angry.  During a lull in the interview the girl looked up at me and asked me in a bitter voice,

"Why do you cops always keep your cars running?"

The other officer looked at me and smiled as if to say, "go ahead rookie, answer the nice lady's question."

"We're classified as emergency personnel and these are emergency vehicles.  We keep them on during stops for our safety and the public's safety."

She looked disgusted.  "Don't you realize that you're just polluting the earth even more than everyone else because you run your cars ALL THE TIME?  Why don't you get it?  What's wrong with you people?  You think you're doing so much good when in reality you're killing the planet by running your cars all the time.  Have you ever thought about that?"

I looked over at the other officer.  He just smiled as if to say, "now what are you going to say?"

"Shame on you ma'am," I began.  "Don't you realize that the federal government expects us to operate in a safe manner?  Shame on you for not living a green enough life style for the both of us.  Do you think I want to kill the earth every time I pull someone over? Such disregard for the law forces me to have to run my cruiser longer while I run and evaluate your information!  As a result of your actions, my hands are tied and now I have to live with the fact that the earth is a little deader because of all the violations your boyfriend here has managed to rack up this fine evening.  If you really cared about the earth, you would encourage your friends to obey traffic laws for the sole purpose of keeping my carbon emissions down!"

She looked at me and then quietly said, "your right officer.  I'm sorry."

The other officer and I were equally stunned and had to work very hard to maintain our composure throughout the rest of the stop. 

So tell your friends, obeying the law reduces carbon emissions from the police.  Do your part and go green.  Cause if we have to call out the tow truck to tow your vehicle to the state impound lot, I can guarantee you that guy's carbon emissions are a lot worse than mine.


Momma Fargo said...

Hilarious! Love it! Do you mind if I borrow that sometime? LOL

Momma Hen said...

Love this!! Absolutely hilarious!

Ann T. said...

Dear Officer Fuzz,
I am crazy about this story! Unbelievable!! LOL.

Ann T.

Yellow said...

Wow! I love it! Thank you Oficer Fuzz for keeping us safe! I will pass on the word for people to stay green. .and pass this on to T-rex when is runs across this!

Sister Copinherhair said...

What a quick wit you have! Ha ha! I love it!

jediwife said...


I love the weird questions cops get at the place where police practices meet confused civilians. People always think there's no reason why a police officer does things a certain way--they never think it's been tried and tested and regulated and written into policy!

Jenn said...

Excellent. Top points to HF.

Jenney said...

Oh my gosh. Leaving this browser window open till my hubby gets off duty. Cause he will die laughing.

RD said...


Jackie said...

Ha!! Fantastic response!!


CM said...

Ha! Great story! Good for you, way to think on your feet.

In the winter, our excuse is the computers will freeze! ;-)

Jenney said...

Yup. He laughed. Hard.

Handcuffed Heart said...

unbelievable. sigh.