Reduce, Reuse, Recycle by HF

I need to get this out of the way first because I just know I’m going to run into what I’m about to relate to you more and more:


I love our fair planet and do what I can to keep it clean. I am not anti-environment.  Okay now that that's out of the way, on with the story.

The other night my Sergeant and I caught this college student walking around with two mountain bikes. Both the bikes had impound tags on them (the city impounds bikes that have been left on racks or out on the street for a specific period of time. The tags are a way of telling the owners that their bike is about to be impounded). So we stop the guy and ask him if the bikes belong to him. He slowly pulls out his cell phone and starts to call a buddy.

Bike Boy: “Hello, uh Bobby…”

Me: “Sir, please put your cell phone away. We’re talking to you right now.”

Bike Boy: “Uh who told us we could take impounded bikes?”

Me: “Sir, please put your cell phone away.”

Bike Boy: “The guy at the bike shop? Yeah, that’s right. Okay. Bye.”

Me: “Sir, are those your bikes?”

Bike Boy: “Well, kind of.”

Me: “What does that mean?

Bike Boy: “I found these bikes and they have these impound tags on them so I figured that I could take them and try to use the parts from both of them to make a new bike for myself.”

Me: “Sir that’s theft.”

Bike Boy: (appearing shocked) “What?!”

Me: “Yeah, if it doesn’t belong to you, you can’t take it. “

Bike Boy: (with righteous indignation) “But the city is just going to destroy them anyway! I’m doing the city and the environment a service by recycling them!”

Me: “The city doesn’t destroy the bikes sir. After a set period of time in impound they fix them up and either sell them to the public or donate them to needy children. The ones they can’t repair, they actually recycle. Please step over here…”

Okay what’s the deal with people citing their concern for the environment as justification for crime lately? First the scooter girl and now bike boy. People, if you are really concerned with the environment and you are frustrated with the speed, or lack thereof, with which your elected representatives are attacking the problem as you perceive it, please don’t start a life of crime in an effort to speed up the process. It just doesn’t work. For some reason I just know I’m going to see this excuse more and more.