Thursday, May 6, 2010

one of those cheesy tributes

Yes. I'm about to post a cheesy lovey dovey post about HF. We celebrated 8 years of marriage on May 4th, although everyone we know corrects us that we got married on Cinco de Mayo. They call us on the 5th to congratulate us each year. That's okay. They can think it was the 5th if they want. As usual, I have been reflecting not only on this past year of our lives, but also of the past 8. I've spent time remembering the stories of when we met and what led up to our marriage, and what has happened these past few years since then. It's not all good. It's not all full of flowers and puppies, and rosy cheeks and giggles. Some of the hard times are difficult for me to reflect on, but I see the couple we are today as being a better couple than 8 years ago even though we might've been more bright eyed and touchy feely than we are now. One thing I've done this week is think of specific times where I knew that HF truly was the love of my life.

{cue dream sequence music}

I loved HF when I first saw him. He was everything physically that I ever dreamed of in a guy. It was weird actually, how he fit my "perfect guy" image to a T. Not only was he the best looking guy I had ever laid eyes upon, he had all the personality and talents that I found desirable in a guy as well. Isn't that what we all think at the beginning of a relationship? Well a couple of things stuck out to me after getting to know him. He was so kind. And so honest. He wears his heart on his sleeve. That is true to this day. He never says an unkind thing about anyone, and he doesn't fight or argue. . . {clears throat}This is pre police days folks.

The other night as we were falling asleep, I was snuggled up on his chest. I was listening to his breathing getting deeper and I knew he was drifting off to sleep. I said, "You would do anything for me". It was kind of like a surprised statement. And then I added, "you have". He squeezed me tighter to him and said, "yes. I would." I didn't mean it in the buy me diamonds and pearls and whatever I want way, but I saw with brand new eyes the kind of man he has always been and has grown into these last 13 years. If he knows that I want something or need something, he does what it takes to give it to me. I think that's in the nature of most men, but let me give you a few examples.

One day we were out enjoying the sun. I was 9 months pregnant with our first child. We were on campus of the school we were attending and there was a karaoke event. They were giving away free stuff to people who were participating. I saw a t-shirt I wanted. I said, "HF. Get me that shirt!" Without saying anything, he walked up there, and he sang, "Hit Me Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears. Not only did he sing it, he really got into it. He was better than Britney herself! At that point he drew a fairly large crowd of people. When it was over he walked back over to me and gave me the loot he won and life went back to normal. I tucked that away in my memory for keeps. Most people I know, myself included, would never in their lifetime make a fool out of themselves like that. He did it again a couple of weeks later. Except he didn't make a fool out of himself. He entered a talent show and sang a song that he wrote with his guitar. The song was about me. And about our baby that we were about to have. As tears filled my eyes, I realized that he had given everything to be with me. Literally. He sold his nice car, and sold a bunch of his music equipment so that we could be more comfortable. We were crazy and got married while we were still in college and without any monetary support from either of our families. A couple of crazy kids we were.

Now without delving into HF's growing up years, I'll just say it wasn't very good. To this day, his family doesn't realize the son they have. They don't praise him, they don't acknowledge his feelings and ideas. He has never been respected nor treated very nicely by them. He's never said anything and continues to treat them with the kindness and respect that he would want. Maybe they will never change, but he is a good example of someone who is Christlike, although he would humbly disagree. I love that I am his family now and that we are creating the family he wishes he always had. I love that I understand him and that he knows that I do. I love that I am usually good at knowing what his needs and wants are and vice versa. I love that my own family loves him and thinks the world of him. I love that he can now get what he's always needed. And I love that what I think about him is good enough for him.

The other thing about HF came as a pleasant surprise. You really have no way of knowing how good of a parent you or the person you marry will be. I never gave it much thought. Through the last few years I have noticed countless times the way HF talks to and teaches our children. He plays with them. I can tell that the kids need their daddy fix when he isn't home much or busier than usual. It's made me see how vital his role is as a father even though he is home so little. I beamed with joy at our daughter's birthday party when we needed to get things under control while we waited for parents to come and pick up their daughters. HF took charge and led them in games such as "Ballerina Says" (instead of Simon Says) and did all the ballet poses with them. He read them stories using different voices for each character, and when the girls began squealing and giggling so loudly in delight during one of the games, he put on his shooting ear muffs (I know, I know, I have no idea what you call them!) which made the girls laugh and squeal even harder.

HF saying, "Ballerino says, do the chicken dance!"

During the Olympic games in Beijing, HF would watch them with Daisy and explain the sports to her. I overheard him say to her more than once, "That's a girl that just did that. Isn't that cool? Girls can do anything. YOU can do anything you want to Daisy. Did you know that?" That made me smile. I don't know if he even thinks about it at all, or if it's because he was raised with a working mom, but I appreciate SO MUCH the respect that he gives me as a human being. It makes me feel strong and important and capable. But he also makes me feel beautiful and feminine and wanted and needed. And isn't that what every woman wants to feel? I've decided he has a gift.

Okay you can throw up into your waste bins now. Thanks for allowing me this cheesy moment. I promise I won't do it again for a while. . .

15 comments:

Leah said...

Thank you for the post! It's so wonderful to hear about relationships and men who do this career and still have their priorities straight and how it doesn't turn them into an unknown being. God is good. Keep loving your man!

Momma Fargo said...

No throw up necessary. Awesome post! Congrats on 8 years and so glad you are so proud of him. You rock!

Not enough people appreciate the ones they love and can write about it. Thanks for sharing your story.

Mrs. Deputy said...

Happy 8 years to you! What a wonderful post!

Gayle said...

sniff sniff...lovely post. crongrats on your anniversary...we had ours on the 4th and celebrated 14 years :)

Sister Copinherhair said...

Like, like, like! Where's the "Like" button? Oh wait, this isn't Facebook...

:)

Happy Anniversary!

Mandy said...

What a sweet post! Happy Anniversary!!

Pam Landy said...

Ah, dang, I've got something in my eye... Seriously, though, bravo for an extraordinary post. HF is one luck guy.

Hannah said...

I love this. My husband and I will celebrate our 3rd anniversary later this month, and in July he will celebrate 1 year out of the academy. Seeing that you guys are thriving and going through many of the same things we are in the first year is such an encouragement. Thanks for this blog :)

April E. :) said...

Well GOOD heavens if that didn't bring a tear to my eye! What a guy! So glad to have GREAT men in our lives!! Thanks for sharing your story!!

Mama Hen said...

Congrats on 8 years! I love these kind of "cheesy" posts!!

Cop Mama said...

Oh, that wasn't cheesy at all! Sounds like you have quite the winner there! Cute pic!

5ohWifey said...

Awesome post! Soooo cute :-) Congrats on 8 years of marriage!

Dori said...

"That's a girl that just did that. Isn't that cool? Girls can do anything. YOU can do anything you want to Daisy. Did you know that?"

Awesome! If every daughter heard that from her dad, can you just imagine the possibilities?! I'm so glad my daddy/daughter duo has conversations like that too!

Congrats on 8 years!

FabuLeslie said...

This is so nice to read. I get jaded and cynical because my beloved has not shown himself in this world yet. When I look to movies, the cheesiness is annoying. When it's real, it's lovely, and heartwarming. Lucky you! :)

Deputy's Wife said...

Hope you have many more years to come together. Sounds like a great relationship. :)