Probation Is Over (by HF)

I have just gotten off my department's probation period for new officers. I've heard that many departments out there have at least a one year probationary period for their officers. My department's probation period is 6 months. I asked my chief why our probation period was so short and he half joked with me saying,

"we can be fired at any time so in a way we're always on probation."

I saw his point and was once again reminded that "they" are always watching. It's been 6 months on the job and I've made several quiet observations about being a new cop.

• Whenever someone in our jurisdiction is reported missing by a friend or roommate, within approximately 59 minutes the "missing" person will be located by the reporting party. Or their body will be found a few days later.


• When you're the new guy, everyone is your boss.


• When you're the new guy, you don't speak unless spoken to and even then you need to be careful what you say.


• Often times family fight reports from neighbors in apartment complexes, turn out to be newly wed couples having rough sex.


• When you're the new guy you get volunteered to do a lot of stuff. Do it right the first time, every time.


• Most of the people I interact with are inherently good, they just struggle with telling the truth.


• Take care of your equipment and it will take care of you.


• You can never have enough flashlights with you at night.


• Having a good knife on you is a good. Having another one is even better.


• Never get lazy about cleaning your weapons. Even glocks need to be cleaned regularly.


• Fewer and fewer kids think the cops are the good guys, when you meet one who does, do everything you can to maintain that belief.


• Fitness shouldn't end after the academy is over. Training is a way of life that does not end.


• The night you don't have your traffic gear with you is the night that the big intersection will go out.


• When you're the new guy, you can do almost anything once.


• No booty on duty despite what your significant other will tell you.


• The media is always listening to your radio traffic.


• When you're the new guy you get pranked and teased a lot. But only if they like you.


• In this job nothing is given to you for free, you will work for everything you get. You will earn any sleep you manage to get.

I'm still enjoying being a peace officer. I love my job and the people I work with. It's been a massive sacrifice all around for us to get to where we are but I really do feel like Mrs. Fuzz and I are a team. A very tired team.

post Thanksgiving

I was thinking I should change the name of this blog to A Tired Police Wife, or A Busy Police Wife. Cuz that's what I am. Thanksgiving was good. We usually make everything from scratch and have a large gathering, but I felt like taking it easy this year. We just had a quiet dinner at home with one of my brothers. He was supposed to bring along his girlfriend, but they broke up last week. She wanted to get married. He apparently isn't ready for that yet. I have some perpetual bachelor brothers. We ordered the whole meal from Mimi's Cafe. It was pretty fantastic. I would highly recommend it! We made a few extra sides and pies, but it was easy peasy and relaxing and that's what I needed. I'm saving up my energy in order to deal with HF's dad and step-mom next Friday (I just did the Catholic cross even though I am not Catholic).

We haven't seen them in 3 1/2 years. There's a lot of drama in HF's family. It's unfortunate that there is, but it's also nice to be a few thousand miles away from that drama. I think that's actually why we live where we live and they live where they live. I assumed we would end up back east because HF is an eastern boy, but we'll probably live where we are the rest of our lives (a brief cry out loud). I let HF decide what direction he wants to take things with his family, and I try to keep my opinions and feelings pretty quiet, because it's his family, not mine. All I can do is be supportive. But I put on a shiny happy face when I talk to them or see them, and as far as they know, I think they are the greatest. I do have their week planned out. They will have the time of their lives. And I will be keeping them busy.

Today, since we have all the supplies already on hand, we are making this cagey conifer. Oh, and I'm loving these Advent ideas from Make and Takes.

I am not a shopper. I only like to shop if I have something specific in mind and I don't like having "stuff" all over my house, so this Black Friday thing does not appeal to me at all. I only went out yesterday to get In n Out Burger and to pick up that Little Tikes Police car (on clearance) for Christmas morning. HF woke up the whole house this morning at 6 am by lugging it in the house from the car and lugging it up the stairs and slamming it down in the back of the closet taking all my clothes off their hangers in the process. And then ripping off the velcro belt and vest. It. was. incredible. The ripping of the velcro on the vest has quickly become the worst sound in the world. And yes, I did mention before that it is also comforting because it means that he is home, but the guy has got to take that stuff off before he comes home or while he's downstairs. It gives me chills when the velcro rips. It's kind of like nails on a chalkboard for me.

What else. My body is doing weird things. It's hard to tell if it's lingering illness or those wacky hormones or the fact that I'm experiencing A LOT of anxiety about the in-laws (probably the in-laws come to think of it). But I'm paying attention to my body, so the sporadic posts and lack of content are because of the overall busyness of my life, not feeling so hot, and I'm doing things to remain calm like reading, sleeping, doing self spa treatments, and listening to nice music whenever I can. It's working so far. A lot of self-talk and looking in the mirror and psyching myself up.

That's my update.

guess the cop game

You know those name that cop posts I've done? Well this is where it comes from. For HF's academy graduation party I compiled pictures of famous cops from history or tv shows with the help of a police wife on one of the pw forums. People were able to try their luck at how many they knew. There was a point for each of the following: name of historical person or character, actor's name, name of the show they were on, and other info one might happen to know. I have 50 pictures and am still collecting all the time. I printed them out and stuck them in a three-ring binder. I printed off a title page and slid it in the sleeve on top of the folder. Then I found these babies:
Peel 'N Place bullet holes. I actually found these at a party store in the "throw a mafia themed party" section. While I was sticking them on the folder, HF was sitting nearby and teasing me about how many I was sticking on there. "I want that folder dead!" or "I won't be satisfied until that folder is dead!" or "Bring me that folder's head!" I thought I was pretty clever at placing one of them over the 'o' in Cop. I told HF that the rest of these puppies were going to go on the side of the minivan.
A couple of my pictures are a little fuzzy because I couldn't find one big enough to print out. For example, the one above is the bailiff from Judge Judy. I still stuck it in there to remind myself to check to see if I could find a better picture later on. Just stick an index of the answers in the back, add pieces of paper and a pencil in the front pocket and you've got a game ready to go.
And just because, here's one of my faves o f Miami Vice. This is a fun game for other parties, not just for an academy graduation. If you want the pics I have including the title page and index, email me and I will send you the file. apolicewife[at] gmail [dot] com. If you find any that I don't have, I would probably like to have it! You can email me the pic with the information about the photo as well.

coming out of the woodwork

Police wives are just coming out of the woodwork now!

Jillian, a four year police wife and mom to 2 little girls, blogs at Mom to a Princess. Go on over and say hello!

Anyone else out there want to show yourselves?

and even more police wives

I wanted to welcome another police wife into the fold. AJ. She blogs at ventilation is pertinent!!!

AJ, I think a few people have tried to leave comments for you at your blog, but were unable to. There's another blog with the same problem (Le Wife). I think it's the pyzam templates? Not sure, but there are a couple of comments for you in the previous post here.

I also discovered another set of blogs authored by a police wife, Sarah. Her blogs are Thin Blue Wife and her personal blog, Roses Peeping In & Babies Peeping Out. Both enjoyable reads.

the double dragon. . . again

I have the double dragon AGAIN! I woke up this morning pretty dizzy and nauseous. I then sat on the toilet and vomited into a trash can for what seemed like the majority of the first half of the day. Poor HF got home this morning after being up for 24 hours and had to continue to stay up as I couldn't get out of bed. I still feel pretty rotten, but it's 8:00 pm and the kids are in bed, and I'm awake.

I also got a bit of bad news today. I found out that HF will be switching to the cover shift in January. His shift will begin at 7 pm and end at 4 am with Wednesdays and Thursdays off. This was the one shift I dreaded. I am really not happy about it, but I'm thinking I might actually like it more than the swing shift because at least this way he'll be able to see our daughter that's in school before going to work and eat dinner with us as well. I have more thoughts on this and babysitting later when I have the energy.

firelight

I saw this on SNL and thought it was pretty funny. You'lll enjoy this whether or not you are a twilight fan. But if you are twi-hard, you might not like it. Are all you Twi-hards gearing up for the midnight release of New Moon this week?

new blogs and a life update

I wish I started doing this a while back, but I'm going to start posting the newest police wife and girlfriend blogs as I find them. So here's the most recent from the last few weeks.

• The Life of Le Wife (by the way Le Wife, I've tried to leave you comments and it won't let me for some reason. Do you have an email?)
• Chronicles of a Damsel Under Stress and Underdressed
• Stella. . .Always About the Beach
  
• A life lived to glorify Him
• A Day in the Life of a Deputy's Wife
• the johnson squad
  
• Sanity Check
  

Am I missing anyone from the last couple of weeks? I've said it before, but I just love this little blogging community. Looking for police spouse support was nearly impossible until it dawned on me that there were probably police wife bloggers online somewhere. I have found that when I'm feeling like no one understands or gets it, or I just need an answer to a question, I know that there is a small group somewhere that does understand and can answer my questions. It's great. It's definitely helped me deal with whatever's come my way.

In other news: I am tuckered out! My kids threw me a curve ball, which is what kids do on a regular basis, and I have now instituted the bean jar method. The fighting started to get ugly (MOM! Luke hit me on the forehead and pulled my hair because I wouldn't answer his knock knock joke or there's the time when my 6 year old went ballistic when the 1 year old went into her room and she didn't want him to and she began thrashing around and kicking boxes and throwing toys and gnashing her teeth. I gave her the business face and said severely, "that is unacceptable behavior", but inside, my mind was saying, "what in Sam Hill?"). So I happened to have 2 old bags of dried pinto beans. I filled a container with them. Then I got 2 medium sized canning jars and they each put a sticker on their own jar to tell them apart. So now whenever they do anything at all that is good, they get anywhere from 1 bean to a handful. It is working! They are more aware of their behavior because I constantly point out when they do something kind, helpful, or whatever. They watch me put beans in their jar. The 3, almost 4 year old sometimes doesn't care, which was to be expected. He'll do something naughty and I'll say, "Uh Oh. Now I have to take some beans out". Sometimes he'll say, "Take them all out!" but overall, it's working really well and their behavior is improving. When their jars get full they get to choose a new toy or to go on a special outing. Luke wants a new Buzz and Woody toys since he single handedly destroyed his originals (i.e. legs missing, woody's sting broken, seams ripping, marker on the faces, etc.).

Oh, and HF? Who's that? He's never here. And he's been sleeping extra when he is here. But he's got some blogging lined up. Only 6 months in and he's been to court, dealt with his share of calls and perps, and seen the office politics in action. Things I never thought I would have to think about.

Maybe it's because of the holidays, but life just seems busier, and I feel more stressed and tired. So if I'm quiet around here, it's because I'm resting, busy with bad behavior correction, or running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I just thought of one more reason why I'm tired. It's that blasted Harry Potter. I'm addicted. I'm now one of those people that used to frighten me that eat and breathe Harry Potter. We played a game of charades tonight with some friends and when someone was acting out their part, I said, "Stirring a cauldron!" I was way off. And it might just be in my head but I think I got a sideways glance or two. . .

cleaning guns and watching the princess diaries is pretty manly. Right?

One night HF sat down by me to clean his guns while I watched a movie. A preview came on for The Princess Diaries 2, and he stopped what he was doing, looked up, and said, "Princess Diaries 2? Oh, I want to see that. I really liked the first one." I looked over at him suspiciously. Then I remembered that he once stayed up all through the night to finish the 6 hour BBC version of Pride and Prejudice while I on the otherhand had passed out sometime during the first hour. He seemed so groggy the next morning and I asked him if he had slept well. He seemed a little embarrassed when admitting he had actually stayed up to finish the whole set. "I had to finish it!"

Don't worry, we still watch Steven Segal, Chuck Norris, Red Dawn, and anything else that has explosions, fighting, etc. And it's just as fulfilling. What can I say? He's a well-rounded guy. I roll my eyes at the Steven Segal type movies, but I do enjoy the cheesy one-liners. So I keep my ears open for that. His latest obsession is documentaries. About anything and everything. I enjoy that immensely as well, but sometimes I am just really not in the mood for the life and times of Benjamin Franklin. Sometimes he uses documentaries as a discipline technique for the children:

HF: If you don't stop screaming, I will sit you down in front of the tv and make you learn! I will make you watch Rick Steves Best of Europe.

Daisy: Noooo!!! I don't want to learn!!! I promise I won't scream anymore!

Cabela's: Hometown Heroes Sale event

I almost forgot! Yesterday and today are Cabela's hometown heroes sale event. Law Enforcement officers get 20% off anything in the store. I'm assuming this is nationwide and not just here where we live. I know HF will be heading over there later today. I know he wants a pair of binoculars, and all I want is a couple of these pop guns for my kids for Christmas. I think they are so cute and so classic.
Check to see if your local Cabela's is participating in the Hometown Heroes Appreciation days November 11 and 12. This includes Police, Fire, EMS, etc.

HF's first complaint

After reading Sandra's post, Today's Would-Be Hostage, I was reminded of a recent incident involving HF. A few weeks ago, HF and his partner heard gun shots in the area they were in. They moved towards them and HF deployed his AR-15. It was 0030 hrs (I asked HF what the military time for 12:30 am was. I didn't actually know it. I just wanted to sound cool). Anyway, the shots came from an apartment complex and HF and his partner began searching for the gunman. HF was wearing his rifle across his body ("on sling") with his finger off the trigger. As they were clearing the area, they would tell people to go back inside if they came wandering out. It was relatively quiet because of the time of night. Everyone complied and no one seemed to know where the shots had come from exactly, but it was nearby.

A girl came out and HF identified himself and told her what they were doing and to go back inside. She said, "who are you?" He identified himself again. She said, "Are you supposed to be a police officer?" Are you kidding me?!

This is where it got ridiculous. She was demanding to see identification, arguing with him and asking over and over why she needed to go back inside, etc. HF didn't have time for this, but more forcefully made her go back inside to which she yelled, "Fine!"

After HF left, she called 911 to see if he was really a cop. She ended up filing a complaint and wanted to meet with the chief. At first we didn't know what on earth she had to complain about. Turns out she didn't think he was a cop because she had never seen a cop with a rifle before and it threw her off. She didn't think that cops should have rifles. I think it's fine if you want to call 911 and verify a situation, but go back inside! Even if he was a fake cop, wouldn't it be wise to go back inside? I always knew that there were "special" people milling about the city, but ever since HF became a cop, I now know there really are lots of "special" people milling about. More than I could have imagined. The chief backs HF up 100%. He said it was appropriate that he pull out the rifle and that he would've done the same thing in that situation. Oh, and she didn't like that he was mean to her (after repeated attempts to have her go inside and her not complying).

HF has already qualified with his AR-15, but yesterday, he had an unexpected test. He thought he was just going to shoot at the range, but when he got there, they had him do various obstacles while shooting his rifle. One officer attacked him, punching and kicking, to see if he could still shoot at a target. He said that he didn't miss one target. He at least hit the blue area.

HF also has his first court appearance this week to testify for a criminal case. He's a little nervous about that since he hasn't done it yet. Only practice scenarios in the academy.

In other "firsts" news, our 1 year old took his first official steps this week.

policeman puppet

Our 6 year old, Daisy, came up to me last night with this puppet she made. She took a white lunch bag and drew everything on herself. I was pretty impressed with all her details, especially the belt. After she showed me her puppet, she gasped and said, "oh no! I forgot his radio and his badge!" And so those things were added on in red as you can see. She also mentioned that she drew his mustache black. I said, "why did you draw on a mustache? Daddy doesn't have one." She said, "I don't know. Cuz I just felt like it." I think she's been overhearing me talk about cops and mustaches. . . But secretly I loved that she added a mustache to the puppet. Even if it kind of looks like a sombrero on top of some teeth.

weekend videos

I'm a Flight of the Conchords fan. If you are, I'm sure most of you have seen these videos, but they are among my favorites to watch.


100 points to you if you know what he's parodying in this video. . .

fuhgeddaboutit!

How you can tell your 6 year old has been talking to her New York Italian Grandma a little too much. Her knock knock jokes turn into this:

Daisy: Knock Knock

HF: Who's there?

Daisy: Fuhgeddaboutit!

HF: Uh. . . Fuhgeddaboutit who?

Daisy: Just Fuhgeddaboutit.

what i found in the dryer part V

Zip Tie Cuff. I guess I should change the name of this series of posts to "what i found in the laundry" because I'm getting pretty good at searching pockets and clothing for random objects before it gets thrown in the washer. Mostly now, just matchbox cars and rocks are getting through. Find anything interesting lately?

Previously found in the dryer posts

don't play with matches

I just had to share this little story. At the park recently, there was this cute mom with a 1 year old son. We were chatting for a bit when I looked over and saw that her little man had a match. I blurted out, "He's got a match!" She rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, that thing? He's had it all day. It's pretty much his favorite thing to play with". I think she saw the concern on my face and added, "He can't strike it without the box". I didn't really know what to say, but I mentioned that matches could be struck without the box. I think I made her feel embarrassed, but didn't all of our mamas teach us not to play with matches? It's like one of those classic words of wisdom passed down from our mothers. Don't run with scissors. Wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident. If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. DON'T PLAY WITH MATCHES. Even if this was some kind of "special" match that couldn't be lit without a box, isn't she teaching him that it's okay to play with matches? I told HF about this later.

Me: This kid could've struck the match on his shoe, or the cement, or even on his teeth! You know how kids put everything in their mouths.

HF: Yeah, but I don't know of any people that strike matches on their teeth. ha ha ha. . .

(uncomfortable silence . . . the sound of crickets)

HF: Don't tell me . . .

(more crickets)

I admit, I tried to light a match on my teeth once. I won't go into it. Anyways, the matches. Crazy, right? Or am I just one of those silly over-protective moms? It just seems like throughout time there are always stories of kids (or adults) that get badly burnt, or houses being burnt down for playing with matches. It kind of freaked me out seeing that.

the Honest Scrap award

Thanks Mrs. Officer for passing along the Honest Scrap Award. In order to accept the Honest Scrap Award you must list 10 honest things about yourself and then pass the award along to seven other bloggers.

1. I know how to operate a forklift. I learned when I was probably 7. (i was a child laborer- thanks dad!) By the time I was 16 I was a "pro". I would race my brothers and we would try to do tricks. It's a wonder we made it this far in life not maimed.
   
2. I have anxiety and OCD. It was brought on during pregnancy and it lingers after for awhile (kind of like post partum depression but in my case anxiety-like the earth is going to blow up kind of anxiety). It's given me a lot of heartache and a lot of funny stories all at the same time. I've tried medication in the past and have not used medication since I was pregnant with Luke. So that's 4 years now? It's a long story but I am beating it without meds. It's been a long road. Sidenote: no probs about HF being a cop, but the thought of someone breaking into my house and kidnapping my kids will keep me up all night with my heart racing. It's complicated.
   
3. I love buttrock/glamrock/monster ballads/whatever you want to call it. It's kind of like my little secret. And I also love Delilah's love songs and all that cheesy crap with the synthesizers and saxophones. I also love boy bands! I could keep up these music confessions all day. I think this self-consciousness stems from having 4 older "manly" brothers and if they caught me listening to something like NKOTB (new kids on the block for all of you not in the know) or Wilson Phillips, life would suck for several days or weeks! I also adore neil diamond, bread, john denver, and country music! Whew! That feels better.
   
4. I love chocolate but I don't like chocolate chips for some reason. I pick the chocolate chips out of my cookies.
5. I have a hard time with lyrics to songs. I'm notorious for singing the wrong words. HF laughs so hard and I really do feel dumb, but I try to act like I did it on purpose. For example, listen to this song and please tell me you don't hear, "blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche in the middle of the night". What it really says is, "Revved up like a deuce another runner in the night".
6. I am an organizing FREAK. Containers, binders, office supplies, everything being neat and clean and in its place. . . the best feeling in the world. I'm not sure if it has to do with my OCD tendency or not. Funny story: HF likes to mess with my OCD issue. One night I noticed a book on our bookshelf turned upside down. I tried to ignore it, but kept looking at it and thinking about it. I went to bed telling myself it wasn't a big deal. I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned. I got up and fixed it and then I slept like a baby. HF did that on purpose come to find out. It doesn't upset me because I love practical jokes and being teased.
   
7. You wouldn't know it from looking at me or even talking to me, but I love politics. I love being informed, talking to trusted friends about it. I will probably never enter a heated debate, but I have very strong opinions and feelings on the matter. That's all I will say.
   
8. My interior design style is Shaker. I am very minimalistic and don't like stuff. We don't have much on the walls, and I don't like a lot of decor, but I love a clean modern look while it still looks old and handmade. This is a dream to me. I actually can't think about it for very long or I start to have feelings of jealousy.
   
9. I love more than anything to be outdoors. Camping, biking, climbing, canoeing, fishing, snowshoeing, horseback riding, I've done it all and I LOVE it and miss it! I don't do it anymore after having kids, but I dream about it. Nature is my happy place. I need to get back to that stuff with the kids.
   
10. I long to travel. Ever since I was a little girl, I was obsessed with geography. I collected maps, atlases, travel magazines, I made collages. Some people slept with teddy bears. I slept with travel books, atlases, and magazines. I would wake up with book creases on my arms and legs. Problem is, I've never left the United States. And I would like to more than anything! It's all I think about sometimes.
    

That was actually quite therapeutic getting that off my chest. Thanks.

Now I'm supposed to choose 7 people to pass this on to. I think all the police wives are going to end up with this on their blogs. I am picking these at random because I hate choosing and I'm making sure no one has already been chosen by other recipients. And I'm sorry if you hate doing these.

• 911-this better be good
• the family behind a badge
• Paula's Place
• the fierce beagle
• happily ever after in seattle
• stella...always about the beach
• selzach
  

HF: Rad instructor

red man suit image found here

HF made it home a couple of days ago from R.A.D. training. He is now a certified instructor. He said it was life changing. Any preconceived notions he had about why women didn't defend themselves were changed in the training he received. He came home with an increased level of sympathy for survivors of sexual assault and rape.

I didn't realize how physical it would be. My husband came home to me with scratches and bruises all over his body. Part of me feels a little upset. It's a great thing he's a part of, but my already tired and sore husband is going to have over 40 women kick him in the crotch and then he comes home to me only to have to go to work for the graveyard shift? Are you kidding me?

On the one hand, it's a concern of mine that HF will be sacrificing his body for this and potentially having his neck and his privates broken. On the other hand, I'm a big supporter of the R.A.D program and I plan on attending a class, so I understand the necessity behind what he will have to do as an instructor.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with what R.A.D is, check it out here.

This is cracking me up lately

"I'm an adult!"